to or not to punish your kids if they do somthing bad?

mabe. depends on what they did. if it was a bad thing then yes. if not so bad then just a worning. what would you do.

 

i'm not into the whole "punish" thing. i'm more of a teacher.

 

well no matter how the situation I will sit down and talk to my child and explain to him why what he did is wrong. I will then put him on a time out in his room for just a few minutes.

 

time out never worked for me. when i was sent to my room i just watched tv,played videogames,climed out my window went an played with friends.

 

I have never gotten the opportunity to punish my daughter, but I believe in punishment. I believe in spanking , but that it is seldom the appropriate punishment.

 

me to. with a hand,paddle,belt,wire hanger,cane.

 

I rarely ever have to go as far as spanking my children, they're usually well behaved and get along great....but I don't see anything wrong with a quick pop on the butt/hand when they're doing something they KNOW they're not supposed to do.

other than that, they get a warning or get sent to bed for a while.

 

I probably wouldn't punish them. My mom rarely punished me. She would usually talk to me and give me a look of disappointment...and that made me think about my actions more than being grounded.

 

omg nooo!! read a parenting book please one from a montesorri professional. I don't have kids but I've been around them enough to know that the seemingly best way to raise kids is to lead by example and explain things in depth so their moral concious isn't just is b going to happen if I do a but rather I shouldn't do a because it's wrong, dangerous ect.

 

what if they'er 15 and you find drugs in they'er room. what would you do bout it? iwoult say if you give me all of it then i will not punish you.

 

You'd make a wonderful parent.........

 

Well if you do drugs...you could only expect that your kids will do drugs.

 

only of it was weed.any other drug i would send them to drug rehab. not kidding.

 

i only smoke on the holidays and birth day.

 

depends, no matter what and no matter how hypocritical it is, I would have to punish her. but if its only pot I will be much less severe than if its coke or speed or heroin. I am not anti pot I just want her to get out of high scholl and hopefully college. I know many stoners can smoke and study, but I couldnt so she is stuck with my opinion on the matter.
Hard drugs, there is no way in hell I am allowing that, no turning my head and pretending its not there. I dont use now, but meth did have its clutches around my throat for a while back in the early 90's and I will not sit by and let that happen to my daughter.
All I can hope is that her mother has taught right and that she chooses to make the right choices, since I have been denied any say up to this point.

 

me to. only pot i will execpet. other drugs will get them to rehabe

 

personaly i think the important thing is to avoid even in their subconscous eyes the appearance of rewarding their thoughtlessness.

how you go about this depends too much on both you and them for there to be any kind of a one size fits all solution.

but if you do this consistently, and consistancy is, has
always been, and will always be, the key,
then sooner or later it ought to get through to them.

they may at first masochisticly enjoy being hollered at,
even subconscously act up in order to be,
but eventualy the'll get even more tired of being hollered
at then it breaks your heart to have to do so,
and start avoiding the behaviors the've come to associate with it.

i wish there was something magicly more positive i could suggest,
but the main thing is that it depends more on consistency then
severity for them to eventualy associate a response they don't
want, with a behavior you don't want.

it is also vitaly important that you don't try to force them
to be like yourself, your perceptions, priorities, or even
values, but instead to instill in them THEIR OWN sense of
social responsibility.

(if you're talking about older children, adolescents or even other adults your own age you have to live and or even work with, and even for people of any age for that matter, even in the world of society and politics, then you might consider the avoidance of hypocracy. example is, after all everything too. there is none of us who are not subconscously influenced by the examples we see arround us, and none of us who do not after the fact participate in setting those examples for each other! like it or not, YOUR 'children' or not; adolescents to geriatrics, ARE your peers, and it may be hard to do with your own offspring, (and likewise with your own parents), but i highly suggest getting used to the idea that they are!)

=^^=
.../\...

 

Kids need all the feedback thay can get, so you must make sure that they understand that you're angry/upset, and why. Make sure that you'ce got their attention, grab 'em in the arm if you have to, and with a grim face ask them why they did it, explain to them why it wasn't okay. Don't let them go until you think they understood what you said. If the kids starts to cry, comfort them, use a gentler tone and tell them it's not the end of the world. Learning the association of guilt to a bad behaviour is so much better than just being irrationally scared of your parents.

Beating a kid is not a good idea and illegal too (at least where I live).

 

thats what my mom did, and i agree with you

knowing that i dissapointed her and made her sad was worse punishment than being sent to my room or spanked