On virginity...

Ok, guys, this might seem desperate and slightly imature, but everyone here seems wonderfully open-minded, so I'll just ask...
I'm a 20year old virgin. I've had relationships with guys but I never went the whole way. I thought that my first time whould be something special, and not just for the sake of it. Maybe I'm crazy, but there you have it... I think I may have lost some of my boyfriends this way.
What I'm trying to ask: should I wait for The One, or should I just do it with my next boyfriend, if/when he appears, just to get it over with? I would wait, but I'd like an oppinion...

 

if you want to wait then wait, do what you want!!

tbh though i think losing your virginity is overrated, just get it over n done with then you'll be more comfortable and have lots of nice orgasms

 

What poIy said. You only lose it once don't regret it

 

Take your time I wouldov loved to be my wife's first I think a guy will respect you more for that it still bugs me I wasn't her first their nothing like the new car smell lol

 

It's nothing to be ashamed of . You should be proud of the fact you're still a virgin . It shows you have character , values , morals , integrity and self respect . It shows a lot of class on your part , don't ever compromise , settle or sell out your beliefs to " just get it over with " . Do what YOU want , not what others expect you to do . Wait until it's special , until your sure he is the one for you . And when you find him both he and you will be glad you respected your body enough to wait . The ones who pressure you ,just want to use you . And more than likely will not stay around long anyway . The ones who like you for you . For your personality , mind and true friendship are the ones to find . Most just see your body as an object , to be used for their self gratification . Sure they say all kinds of bullshit to get into your pants . It's all lies , and if they pressure you for sex , that's how you spot them . Be proud that you have waited this long . And NEVER sell yourself out , just to fit into the crowd . You have values , morals and a level head on your shoulders . Keep them with you and intact , and it will make all the difference in your life .

The time will come , don't rush it , just to " get it over with " . You obviously respect yourself more than that . Let it come naturally in its own time , when it means something to you . And be proud of who YOU are , cause you seem like a great young lady .

 

what p0ly said.

imo too, you can't find The One without knowing what you want sexually. and you cant know what you want sexually being a virgin.
just sayin

 

Thank you guys... @p0ly and boguskyle: I can sympathise with what you said. If you don't drink wine, you can't guess its taste...
JA-sexy-latino, I think i understand what you're saying; if I were a guy, and not my wife's/girlfriend's first, I'd probably be a little disappointed, because I wouldn't have that link with her...
papa wolf: thank you for the great reply; I think I should wait fir the right time as well, but when all you see around you is sex, and sex and sex, and boyfriends, it's a bit tough to keep a level head.
I'm sorry if I seem very imature here, but it's kind of a touchy subject...

 

If you think you'll like it just do it. It's obvious you've got the good sense not to do it with just anyone but saviging it for someone special is a bit too serious. Just save it for a guy you like and who respects you or at least is putting on a good act of respecting you until he's had his fun.

 

i really don't think there's anything that you "should" do regarding your virginity. i wouldn't necessarily recommend waiting for "the one" because you may end up dying a virgin that way, but what you should do is whatever feels right to you.

that said, if you're a male you should just get it out of the way asap, because if you don't do it by about 21ish, you probably won't ever be given the opportunity except through prostitutes.

 

When you do 'lose it', make sure it is with a lover who will, with tender touch and soft caress take it as gently as is possible
The timing should be your choice and; I guess, for your reasons
And when that time is, Be Good, Be Safe

 

there's advantages and disadvantages of both. but the main thing is WHY do you want to wait? if it's because you want it to be special etc etc, it's probably the wrong reason. your first time (IMO) will quickly be forgotten. the first time is never that good. if it's for deeper moral reasons, religious reasons etc, then keep abstaining.

 

The trouble with it, especially past 17, is that the guys are going to think you are just trying to train them, string em along for 6 months spend a whole lot of money on you then they get it, which isnt going to work with the hot ones, even though from your point of view it might just be about nerves and insecurities.

Theres a big difference between what they think they are supposed to say out loud and what they actually believe.

And that applies to the girls as well, first time is never special, you are going to be too nervous to concentrate solely on the task at hand

 

not very likely the first time...

 

Well, fact is I really don't want to do it just for the sake of it... I'd rather do it with someone who means something to me, and not just to get rid of that pesky little membrane... Though it's ok if you want to do it just for that...

 

well, do that then.

just keep in mind that if you do have a boyfriend and he wants to have sex, you should probably not tell him "no, i'm waiting for someone who means something to me."

 

Lol, no... I may be blonde, but not to that extent. Besides, I'm single right now, so no danger of having a "blonde" moment.

 

Yeah, you have to even watch talk like that.

Just for the sake of it, well that sounds sexy, like a chore. Talk like that and they just think you are interested in sex anyway.

Someone who means something to you? That just says to everyone all the previous boyfriends you were just stringing along, you werent attracted to them enough to do it

I'm not trying to convince you to do it, just trying to point out all the stuff you say out loud isnt going to get interpreted the way you want or the way you mean

Look, you are female, they all know its more than likley when you get to mid 20s ovaries will kick in and you'll go baby crazy anyway. There's always that line between actually being a vulnerable teen girl whos petrified of getting pregnant and / or too young to cope with those feelings.....compared to the 20 something female climbing the walls, that looks like she's going to claw your eyes out if she doesnt get some soon. And that line is around the age you are now, 19,20,21.

Try pull the little princess routine much past 21, and the hot guys at least will be like "Who the fuck are you kidding?", although they'll never say that to your face.

Then theres the stuff you never say out loud, past 21 it becomes, Ok, well why has a guy never tried hard enough?, whats wrong with me?, arent I sexy enough, why dont they ever stick around long enough? Why arent they more interested in all the talking about feelings than all the orgasms? Am I too fat? ............So you have to do it in the end so you dont drive yourself crazy

 

I can see what you mean, Vanilla, but there is also the fact, here, though maybe not in your country, that if a girl sleeps with a guy, she's automatically labeled a whore, and if a guy gets laid, he's a macho... Not saying that's particularly important for me, but it's still annoying...
I know I must looks like a silly little girl to you, but I don't think it's bad that I didn't do it with someone who obviously didn't really care about me.
Lastly, most stuff I say gets interpreted wrong on a daily basis...:|

 

you get labeled a whore for having sex for the first time at 20?

i somehow doubt that.

 

You don't know Romania, my friend... We are still in the Dark Ages, from certain points of view...