Hate my family

Creedle, the op never said the inheritance was 25k, that was what seizedbyanger said. He said he's worked since he was 12. I'm sure he didn't spend all that time caring for his aunt, otherwise he never would have been able to earn and save 24k.

IMHO it's the OP's money to do with as he likes. He sounds like a basically responsible person who is perfectly capable of making his own plans and decisions.

I decided at one point that being in college wasn't what I needed. I dropped out without any kind of coherent plan - just an undeniable conviction that I needed to get away from other people's expectations for a while and figure out what I really wanted from life. EVERYBODY I talked to about it told me I shouldn't do it - except one person, my friend Frank. So I moved in with Frank, and we had some adventures together. After six months I had found a purpose in life that was intrinsically motivating for me, I had overcome a major emotional issue that was hindering me, and I'd had an experience that completely amazed me and change my whole view of life. My parents wanted me to move back in with them, and I was ready at that point. So I did, and I completed college. But I will never regret those six months of drifting - I needed to do that, and I'm very glad I did.

My 22-year-old stepson dropped out of college a couple years ago also. He did a stint with Americorps. Then he came back home and worked for a few months to save money, and he took a six-month solo motorcycle tour across the USA. Now he's back home replenishing his funds again and planning more adventures. I completely support what he's doing. He thinks he might return to college at some point, get a degree, and settle down, but right now he wants to have some adventures. I figure this is the best time to do that, and I'm proud of how he's made his dreams work.

My 18-year-old son dropped out of high school halfway through his 3rd year. He was a straight-A student, and he was doing great, but he felt like school was a waste of his time. The first thing he did after dropping out was to write a novel. That novel is currently in the hands of a literary agent, and he has already started writing a second novel. He applied to and got accepted at a private college specializing in communications and fine arts. They offered him enough financial aid to cover about 2/3 of his expenses, but that wasn't enough, cuz he had no other money of his own, and I'm too poor to make up the difference. He took that setback in stride, got a job to try to save money, and is applying to other schools that have a better likelihood of offering full scholarships. I fully support him in what he's doing, cuz I believe in his talent and motivation and the way he's handling his life.

So to the op, I say: You need to follow your own path, whatever that is. It sounded like the purpose of this thread was to see if anybody had ever experienced anything like what you're thinking right now, so I wanted to let you know that I have, and so have two of my kids so far. I hope things work out for you. However I would also suggest you try not to be too hard on your family. But maybe time away from them will give you more perspective.

 

Thank you to all the people that weren't assholes that responded. As I said in the original post it was between Europe or California, and I have made up my mind. I won't be responding to anything in this post anymore because instead of people having actual advice they just try to claim fallacies in my story. Just because I have lived a life completely different then yours is no reason to call bullshit. If you really have all this bitterness towards me I will gladly send you a postcard from my travels to help alleviate your Debbie Downer mentality. :2thumbsup:

 

my personal advice - travel the world

cost your journey and plan your route

be independent

but no matter how cash poor a man is... with family he is already rich.

good luck.

 

Good luck on your travels and hope you find success and happiness on the way! I hope I have fun on mine also.

 

I had thrown sarcasm in my post, it's unfortuante that you couldn't pick it up.

But, I'm sad face. It's people like you that make me feel like

 

Come on. What job can an 18 year old get, other than cutting hay every summer since he was 12, where he'd have 20k saved and be able to attend school?

And he claimed the inheritance was for caring for his aunt. Exaggeration is fine, but this is absolutely ridiculous If he earned it, he can spend it all on candied plums. If it was given to him without conditions, he can blow on a new car and rare breeds of dogs. If he didn't and it was given to him for education, but someone failed to expressly allot it for that, he can spend it as he likes, but that makes him (or her) a not nice person. Nice people don't jerk everyone around, move across the country, eat up funds of other people, and then say, "I'm not happy, so I'm going to throw that away."

It takes more of a man or woman to say, "Well, Aunt Gertrude wanted me to have this $3,000 for my education. Rather than have a Roman holiday, I'll set it aside in savings and use my own money first and get my head on."

When OP started talking about where he gets his money, he first mentioned his inheritance. $5k won't pay for a semester, so that seems more than a little fishy. I have a bullshit detector like you wouldn't believe; this kid is being dishonest and wants people to tell him it's okay to spend someone else's money they charitably gave him for his education to blow on having fun. It's not okay. It may be legal, but it is absolutely not okay, and I won't back up an inch on that.

 

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Creedle, if you think the op is lying, then so be it. I was just reminding you of what it was the op actually said. He never even brought up the inheritance and whose money it was until about halfway through the second page, after some folks had thrashed him for doing stuff he never even said he did.

How could he save $24k as a teenager? I will grant you that's a bit hard to comprehend. But I know enough to realize I shouldn't assume it can't be done. I had my first job when I was 13. I picked boysenberries with the migrant farm workers. I didn't do it for very long, but I can see how a kid who lived in a big farming area could conceivably get a decent amount of money doing that sort of thing. Kids can also get fast-food jobs as early as age 14 in the right circumstances. There's also newspaper routes, and they can even have businesses, if they're of an enterprising disposition.

My oldest stepdaughter made a HELL of a lot of money before she was 18 years old - she knew I wasn't going to be able to help much with her college expenses, and she was strongly motivated and hard-working. With one or two minor exceptions where I contributed a small amount, she paid her entire way through college from scholarships and the money she earned herself.

I'm not saying any of this proves the op earned the money, as he says he did. I'm just saying we can't assume that he just couldn't have done it.

I've been lied to and messed over way more than my fair share, and I think this treatment has honed my bullshit detector as well. Yet I'm not detecting bullshit in this instance. Of course I could be wrong. It just seems to me that if the op were lying about where the money came from, then any advice he got about it here on hf would be essentially useless and unsatisfying, cuz he knows in his heart that it doesn't apply to the actual situation. I can't see how that would be any comfort to him. But maybe your suspicions are right and maybe he's scum. Personally I don't think so. To me he doesn't come across as someone who is either lying or addlebrained. Anyway, either way, I think it's not worth getting overly worked up over it if you don't know for sure.