I'm going through some kind of transition and hope I might get some support here. I like this girl a lot. She knows (took guts, lemme tell you). I was previously dating a guy that is an awesome person... more chemistry with the girl for me. I told him I needed to put things on hold to figure this out - he was amazingly cool about it. I keep trying to put myself in a box that will work across time but it isn't working so well. Sometimes I find guys attractive and sometimes women. I've been with a woman before. I've had crushes on women before. More than on guys. I've never had a relationship with a woman... was always scared to try. Sexually I find women much more attractive than men. So now I kind of want to see about having a relationship with this girl. Only I don't want to end up hurting her - her happiness and peace mean a great deal to me. She's still processing the edges of a breakup. But I want to be with her. And she liked me before I copped to my crush so we are trying something that moves very slowly. I don't want to hurt her if I end up infatuated with a man down the road. I don't want to hurt her period. I hear that bisexual women are less accepted in the L community and it's probably for reasons like these. I can date a man, but the last few months I've started to wonder if I will be much more satisfied dating a woman. I feel like I need to get clearer on my sexual preference before I go further with this. Do you have any ideas for how I can figure this out? Thank you
it has always been my belief that no descision needs to be made during this ''confusion''[your word]... ..stop putting pressure on yourself and try and enjoy your life no matter what happens in the 'crush' department...enjoy the new girlfriend...see what happens...just stop having such a need to ''decide''one way t'other... ...enjoy the trip and dont worry about the road signs just yet cause you know you heading the right way and you have tons of time to change routes and double back good luck
Thank you, ROLLINGALONG. Probably good advice. I'm just nervous that my preference would change in a way that brings her pain and I don't want that to happen. I'm in my late 20s and feel like I should have this figured out by now Less pressure on myself is a good idea, thank you again.
you're bisexual and it's wonderful to be one - if both sexes can attract you then there is no doubt and if you go through life denying your natural desires it will almost certainly rebound on you. Talk to her, tell her - if you really love each other you'll find a way to make it work, there are many different types of realtionship out there and yours will be unique to you if you forge one. People are all on differnet levels and you may be more emotionally atrracted to females and vice versa. Good luck, Simon :sunny:
your bisexual. Don't think about he future of thinking you going to switch to guys when you are with a woman. Think for the moment, if you like her and want to pursue a relationship with her then go for it.
Thank you all for your replies. I identify as pansexual right now...I guess I have this worry that I'm going to hurt people or people I find attractive won't want to date me because I don't stick with one gender for my attractions. My longest relationship was with a male but it wasn't a very good relationship. I keep thinking I need a clear-cut answer but maybe it doesn't work that way.
If you want to be with a female , I think you should try it. You never know, it can be one of the best relationships you ever had
The trick is to stop trying to put yourself in a box, littleshy. You are who and what you are, and there is a great danger in sticking a label on yourself and then trying to conform to that label. It doesn't work. We all take risks when we get into relationships. The risk that it won't work out for some reason, that you'll end up more attracted to somebody else and the breakup will hurt the current object of your desires is ever-present. And it applies equally to straight, gay and bi people. Therefore you shouldn't let this fear control your life and prevent you getting into the relationship that you think to want to be in right now. The solution to the fear of hurting somebody ISN'T to avoid getting in relationships in the first place - it's to make sure that you behave honourably and caringly at the end of any relationship that you DO get in. :mickey:
Exactly. You have to stop putting so much pressure into figuring out who or what you are into to. You risc missing out on a someone if you focus on the gender and not the person. I really hope, that you don't limit yourself because of these labels. You will find out sone enough :daisy: Peace xx
