In a serious relationship, but SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!!

I've been with my bf for 7 years now!! He has cheated on me many times in the past, and through all these years, I STILL remain loyal to him. But LATELY, I have been feeling guilty because of the bad thoughts I've been having, and dreams! The reason I feel guilty, is because I DO love him, and now that were more mature than we used to be, he has changed and hasn't cheated on me in years. We do live together and he wants to marry me in the future, and now all of that kind of freaks me out. I'm 22 now, and have been realizing how BORED I am with our sex life. I feel like I'm still young, and I want to experience having sexual relations with other people!! I've even been hit on by guys I would most likely have sex with if I was single, But I don't EVER want to cheat on him, or leave him...I just don't know what to do to satisfy this urge, and it's driving me crazy!!! I even have to imagine someone else when were having sex and use a vibrator imagining someone else!! Im just STUCK.

 

Is he the jealous type?

Would you consider asking for a break to pursue sexual interests, asking if you could open up the relationship, or asking if you can explore outside the relationship?

How would you feel about him being with other people, too?

 

Yeah, really jealous. He tries to hide it, but he's the type that's territorial.

 

Do you think there are ways you could spice up your sex life with him? What have you tried, if anything.

 

if you want that bad to go out and do it with different people PLUS your current relationship is sexually frustraing, I think you should, really...

i mean, youre young and stuff, when you get older, if you are married, youll have all your life to spend with one significant other... if you don't feel like spendin yours now with one... you shouldnt....

the worst that can happen, is you dont like it, you find out you prefer to have a serious relationship: then you just go and have one... you know... lovers always come and lovers always go... if you arent sexually satisfied and drop this guy, it doesnt look like your dropping 'the one' or anything...

....just what i think, of course you can try to 'improve your current relationship' or 'spice things up' and blah-blah-blah

 

I've tried all that :/
Roleplay, Toys, Threesomes with other women, Vid taping, Porn, giving HIM pleasure...the works. Even bringing it up to him or hinting doesn't work, and when we have sex it lasts for about 6 min or so EVERYTIME and it's the SAME position. He never wants to do anything else. Our sex used to be GREAT, but that was years ago. Thing is, I know the problem is that I'M bored but I don't want to act on it, but I know that he is bored as well, because he has complained too. We both love eachother but were both bored, and too afraid to admit it to eachother I guess :/

 

It's just really scary to leave someone you've spent soo many years of your life with.

 

so you already tried to spice things up and it didnt worked?
you want to go and make sex with different people?
you cant imagine yourself marrying him and that idea freaks you out?

(i think) you really should leave him... but, you said its scary to leave someone youve been so many years with... okay...

...but leaving him and experience some new things (it seems like youve been with him since youre 15!) is scarier than just staying with him and doing nothing?

i think leaving that guy really is a BIG step (7 years is like 1/3 of your life!), but what can happen? like i said before, you dont look like your dropping 'the one'...

...

 

The choice isnt really up to you, 22, approaching prime baby making age its a battle between 4 opposing forces:

Your Heart: Oooooo but I so love him ooo ooo oooh
Your Brain: Shut up stupid Heart, you're just scared you cant do better, besides he doesnt make enough money
Your Clitoris: Will someone please get me the fuck off NOW!
Your Uterus: LOL, any of you think you are in control Pffttt, He's just not tall enough, end of story bitches

 

Ok.

 

have you ever seen those middle aged married couples who just hate each other but they were both too lazy and insecure to move on and try to improve things, so they're still together out of habit? and then you think "god, i hope i never end up like that?"

well, you're choosing to end up like that.

 

HA.
I'm JUST as confused as you..

 

I don't get how you both complain that you're bored but don't do anything about it? That really doesn't make sense. It's like me moaning about being hungry and not getting food. :S

 

Change is scary, but change is good...

 

As the years go by the both of you are going to go through changes. It's up to you both to try to adjust to those changes and accept those changes in each other. If say you both were once into something and now it's something else, try that something else by being more open and accepting to it.

I'm not one to take TV doctors so seriously but Dr. Oz seems to know what he is talking about. He's done a recent appearing on Joy Behar and he discusses what I said. It's not uploaded yet but here's something else I found that you may find helpful. He's been married for about 20 years and he gives good advice on what it takes to keep things spicy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PDwzHAjlog"]Dr. Oz Talks Oprah, Marriage, and Sex (Part I) - YouTube

 

7 fucking years WOW

Seriously i got bored of my gf after like 4 months of sex so i split with her.... (4 months later whoops, she was useful!) since i've got with many other people and still am and it's much more fun having lots of fuck buddies or chasing other people.... the chase can be more fun than the catch.

i bet you stay together though to be honest. If you've never been with anyone else then you don't really have a clue if this guy sucks big time really