WTF is going on?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by chakkname, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. chakkname

    chakkname Member

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    My girl of four monthes just broke up with me. We have been fighting and she gets mad and always threatens but then I go and talk her back saying to just give it a chance. This last time She ignored me for a week and then after 4 days of my texting and calling her asking her to just not ignore me she called and asked me to go for a walk with her making mention"you know we are broken up right?" Now I looked on the dating site we met on and she had been on a couple of times that week. We walked and had a very nice talk then she said in a way that she fucks with me "are you excited to start dating" I responded that I just wanted her but she told me she was excited to start. We went out to eat and then to a store where we looked at things all while having a great time together. When I went to drop her off she told me that I should call in sick so she could spend the night but wouldn't have to wake up early and leave when I left for work (6 am). I told her I couldn't call in and she asked me to follow her to the library. I went to the library where she mentioned that it felt like something was on her back so I started scratching it and massaging it then I stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders while she did her homework for about 20 or so minutes. After that we watched some vids online and sat in my car. I told her that I wanted wanted to sleep next to her and she told me that she would never do that again even after she asked to come over and sleep next to me earlier like an hour or so befor. She sai that she didn't want to be with me and that she didn't think the next guy who she dates would appreciate her coming over to my house though when I asked her if she was seeing anyoe she hessitated nd said that she wasn't. We talked and she acted like she was going to leave and I asked for a hug and she said that she didn't want to and had done this befor. She started another conversation and we continued to talk then out of nowhere she crawled into my lap(my seat was reclined) and layed on my chest while I held her like when we first went out. I continued to talk holding her and she said "stop talking" which I did. We layed together like that for 20 or more minutes then she got up and left stretched out and left. That was the day befor yesterday and I have not heard from her again. What was she doing? Is she toying with me or just confused?
     
  2. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    she's fucking crazy. but then we've all been telling you that since you first started posting about her, and it consistently goes in one ear and out the other.
     
  3. deleted

    deleted Visitor

  4. chakkname

    chakkname Member

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    Yeah man I know she is but then she made me crazy about her and now I'm totally fucked up over it. Your post gave me a good laugh though and made the truth a little easier to understand. I keep blaming myself like I could in some way shape or form changed this person or changed myself to make it work. All that said what do you think her intentions were?
     
  5. Still Trippin

    Still Trippin Member

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    that is a bat shit crazy attention whore! she's just looking for validation man
     
  6. blackcat666

    blackcat666 Senior Member

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    both of you are co-dependent and enabling each others psychological shit... she loves fucking you around, and you love getting yourself fucked around by her.
    there, now you know both her's, and your intentions.

    mate, you either, "shit or get off the pot!"
    sounds like nether one of you two will do that though. you both are having too much fun fucking each other around, and then bitching and moaning to all of us about, "how awfull it all is between you two."
    :ack2:

    yup, both of you two are, "batshit crazy" alright!
    :banghead:
     
  7. chakkname

    chakkname Member

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    I want my girl back how is that crazy? I fell in lo0ve with her and just want to get back together.
     
  8. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    She obviously wants to lead you on enough to get you to keep begging her to be with you. It gives her validation. She seems very insecure and manipulative. If she really wanted to be with you, she would. And if she really wanted to be done with you, she would actually be done with you and not contact you again.

    However, as Iminmyunderwear said, you keep posting about her and we keep telling you the brutal truth, but you don't listen or even try to understand. Enjoy the torture.
     
  9. chakkname

    chakkname Member

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    I'm not enjoying this it has actually fucked up every aspect of my life including my career. I am currently in counseling because it's fucked me up so bad. I just can't seem to get through this. She sota brain washed me to the point it's like stockholms where even though she was a cruel bitch and threatened me with abandonment I felt this undying love for this person. For one it took me forever to find a girl I have had shit luck online and in person , she was beautiful more so than any woman I have been with, and also I can't get her out of my head I just wanted so bad to spend the holidays together our b-days are very close together it was a special time and now it's gone. I can't help how I feel. I feel like a man who tried crack one time at a party and who is now out trying to hock his shoes to pay for the next hit all while hating the addiction but just can't pull it together. My friends fmily and coworkers are sick of me because I'm fucked up I'm just having a tough go at it. All I want is to treat this person good and love her yet she is cold and cruel then loving and sinscere it tears me up.
     
  10. chakkname

    chakkname Member

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    Anyone else who may she some light for me?
     
  11. Sininabin

    Sininabin Member

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    you don't need any more light you got it down. focus on these truths

    the relationship is dead it is gone, murdered mutilated.

    the friendship is dead it is apparent that time together is unhealthy (lead ons mixed with weak personal boundaries = sadness )

    You just have to pick up the piece and move on, I imagine you had good time together or what not but now it time to cut her out, to cut her out when she tries to call you, politely say "hi" when you run into each other and say you have to go.

    I find the ones that are close to perfect are the hardest, this one girl we were like 90% perfect but every time we'd spiral to doom. Took a 6 months off from each other, then met up again things were still in the same fucked up position took some more months apart; and NOW since we've changed a little and I love my new girl and I know that me and 90% sucked as an item and still would suck as an item, our ability to be together is gone broken dead. I think your relationship is in the same boat. I realize I am giving your relationship to much viability, from your post this is no where near a 90%. this is like you're stuck at mean bitch 50% sure she's nice looking and energetic whatnot but the other half of the bag is just dropping waiting to be rubbed on your face. GOD CLASSIC power play try to get you to call off work so she won't get woken up when you leave to work, that my friend is a lack of love, a lack of anything solid, only a side of dysfunction.

    (never put up with too much shit, either a girl will comply to what you need to feel respected and love or she won't and then screw that and get out of dodge)
     
  12. chakkname

    chakkname Member

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    This is very well written and thought out thank you for the advice my friend
     
  13. meridianwest

    meridianwest Senior Member

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    i couldn't get through half of it cause the plot was changing so many times it was difficult to keep track of it. which indicates she is not a relationship material. don't waste your breath.
     
  14. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    And he used paragraphs too!
     
  15. dreamsDOcomeTRUE

    dreamsDOcomeTRUE KYTLIVE

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    You explain this situation very well, This had happen to me before which left me hurt . Shit like this confuses you and leave you hanging like wtf
     
  16. blackcat666

    blackcat666 Senior Member

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    you don't know what love really is.
    SUPRISE! the vast, vast, vast, majorty of relationships are loveless.
    most people die never have been loved.
    that is one hell of a very, very, very hard and, very, very, very bitter truth to swallow about the human condition!:bigcry:
    YET, it is lack of love in peoples lives that drive the vast, vast, vast, majorty of people to seek out psychotherapy.

    mate, what you and most people mean by 'love' is codependence.
    codependence is, "excessive emotional or psychological reliance with a partner, with an illness or addiction who requires support."

    you may 'love' her and, she may 'love' you however, neither one of you two are good for each other.
    sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself and/or the other person is end the relationship... far, far, far easer said then done, belive me, i know from first hand experence!
    that's right, i have been where you are now and, i had to undergo a very, very, very great deal of enlightment, learning, re-learning, deprevation, desperation and, pain to be able to pull my shit together to some degree that i could make my life somewhat functional.

    now, i'm getting down of my soap box and i'm going to stop my preaching and, give you a 'tool' to start turning your life around.
    go to the library or bookstore and get a copy of the book entitled, "games people play" by, eric beren.
    untill, you can get a hold of the concept of psychological games you two are playing and how your fucking up you own life, and what you can do to start changing it... you will stay stuck spinning wheels your, and then come whining to us about "how awfull" it is for you.

    get the book. read it. study it. have your psychotherapist work with you on your game playing.

    now, quit moaning to us, and go get the book RIGHT NOW!
     
  17. la Principessa

    la Principessa Member since '08

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    Thanks. I know how it is because I had a relationship like this as well. It's fairly common.
     
  18. OneLifeForm

    OneLifeForm Member

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    I can relate.

    Breaking the cycle is not easy.
     
  19. BonzaiLLC

    BonzaiLLC Guest

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    like they all said man she's completely off her rocker, move on. NOW!
     
  20. chakkname

    chakkname Member

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    This last friday she texts me and ask if I wana hang our. We do then I invite her back to my house which she then tells me she never plans to go again. She said that she didn't want to be with me and this was the last time that I would see her. I told her if this was it then she needed not to try comming back because she would fuck up the next thing I got going befor it even started.I told her that the first time she left I was planning on trying to date another woman who I felt would have been good for me and then she came back and fucked it up. She than told me to hold on while she went into her apt and then came back with ovwernight gear and spent fri,sat,sun and mon nights at my home. We had the best sex we have had and she was more affectionate than ever. I asked her to let me know if she wanted to spand the night when I dropped her off this morning. I haven't heard from her since. Maybe her phones dead or she just is in a mood I don't know.
     

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