"Hi, we're Christian missionaries"

Bend over and part ur cheeks

 

That really is just as easy as it is...

I have said - as I look directly into their eyes (which usually unnerves them) - "I have my own beliefs, and now is not convenient to discuss all that I do believe. Thank you but no thank you."

Sound of door closing.

NEVER EVER just let them come in...talk thru a screen or door chain! (This is another reason I love having a good sized border collie.:2thumbsup

period.

 

Once a missionary came to my door with this glossy pamphlet, on the cover in bold letters was" Are Atheists taking over this country?"

I looked at it for a second then said to her;

"Yes, we are!" :seeya:

ZW

 

i would ask them why they have chosen to forsake logic and reason.

 

Take a leaf out of Rex Kramer's book

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qse_wf57tZM"]Airplane! - Missionaries

 

Oh, I just wanted to mildly irk them. I mean, I know I'm an atheist and everything but I tend to keep my stabby murder sprees for the weekends.

 

pull your pants down and ask them if it looks infected...

 

My friend talks to JoHo's.
She's got one that keeps coming back because of the enthralling discussion: It's probably the first time anyone's rationally discussed atheism with this person and she's curious and concerned..but each time she comes back to witness to my friend, she's showing signs of becoming more skeptical.

Sometimes genuine dialogue can actually get you places.

 

could just be nice to them like..

 

That would only encourage them...:devil:

ZW :mickey:

 

Only when they start with "We've come to bring you Jesus".

 

Where's the fun in that?

 

If I see them before they see me I walk with a great deal of purpose and don't make eye contact. I've got it down to a fine art and am never stopped any more. Ormaybe I just look like the devil incarnate and should be avoided at all costs.Either way I get no grief from them

 

Attempting to indoctrinate people by harassing them on the street without solicitation... is a vile, evil act - at the very least it should be illegal.

In reality, they are going to their own hell when they die, so that makes me smile.

I have absolutely no issue with anyone believing whatever they choose too, in fact I rather enjoy a reasoned, balanced discussion on the subject.

But forcing your views on someone else is very wrong, especially when you're trying to bring someone into an "organised" religion (organised crime, more like)... is just plain wrong.

If they invade my life, I will invade theirs and I am EXTREMELY good at making people feel very small...

Their choice of fairy tale is irrelevant... organised religion is a form of slavery and theft... indoctrinating someone into any cult is evil.




There aren't that many types of people I will group and hold such disdain for in this world.

 

I agree with this to an extent. If someone tried to push it past the "no thanks, have a nice day" stage I'd get wound up. Some guy selling LoveFilm recently came to the door and nearly tried to force his way in, it took all my self-control to not turn around and yell at him to fuck right off. It especially makes me angry because they'll be using the same tactic on people who aren't as strong/narrow minded as me who'll probably sign up just to they'll be left alone.

On the other hand, I do enjoy the witty answers people come up with. At some point we had swarms of the "have you had an accident in the last 3 months" people infesting the streets, and I had a go at trying to convince one that I'd received bad burns from inserting my penis into my long-slot toaster (I eventually confessed it wasn't an accident, and yes, it had to be long-slot ). The woman I spoke to had a laugh about it too. Hell, Greenpeace called me up trying to get more money out of me and I ended up chatting up the girl on the phone and we had a long talk about the US government, that kind of rocked.


That said, there was some religious guy wearing one of the old style sandwich boards wandering around the streets of my town once, and a group of teenagers thought it was hilarious to yell "SATAN IS BEHIND YOU! " as they walked past him. Oh yes, how very original! I bet he's never heard anyone say anything in reference to Satan as a joke before, that is fucking hilarious, call me an ambulance because my sides are literally splitting! Why, I thought you were just a gaggle of moody teenagers, but in fact you are the living reincarnation of BILL MOTHERFUCKING HICKS!!! Oh no, wait, you're just a bunch of twats who think you're cool because you wear black and laugh about how you're all so different and individual and unique precious little snowflakes while everyone else is dull and all the same and "SLAVES TO SOCIETY AND THE RAT RACE, MAAAAAAAN" while you listen to the same shitty music as every other know-it-all little scrote your age, fuck off and let the guy wear his sandwich board in peace.


I've actually forgotten what my point was now, but hey, first time I've posted in months, hello everyone!