Heres the basic story... Me and my Girlfriend have been going out for sometime now. She always had trouble with boyfriend them cheating on her inparticular Anyways back to my problem. Few days ago everything was good until she went really quiet on me and wouldn't even talk to me or tell me whats up, i finally managed to get her to tell me and she said she doesn't like it when i tell other people stuff about us( i did say a thing to my friend about her and i did tell her i told him and she wasn't happy). basically the arguement went on me trying to guess, until i gave up and said i was going home cause i couldn't be borthered with it, so she texts me saying alot of stuff about i have been texting someone about our arguements and me asking for advice( first realrelaionship for me so i needed some advice), was never anything bad in the text more of what should i do. i never deinied it i said i did, she was really angry and we did break up. the only thing that puzzled me was how she knew, she had went through my phone and read the texts i didn't get angry about this( didn't even really mention it when other peple would) i just wanted to get back with her. But she also thought i was cheating on her thats why she done it in the first place( i have never went near another girl except her), so the arguement fizzled out and we got back together. she was the one that ended it in first place but i was the one trying to get her back and i did. (i understand i was in the wrong for telling that other person about our arguements and about the other thing but everyone has someone they can talk to about these things). Until now where the whole thing about her thinking am cheating on her is haunting her again and that was the main arguement not about the telling other people stuff was just about cheating, i have told her many times i havn't but she doesn't seem to get it, she makes me feel like the bad one for doing nothing. So she was speaking about something else before this and because she said about the cheatin the conversation went a bit quiet(what you really ment to say when this comes up), so i tried to make a joke about what she said before then all of a sudden she hangs up i phoned her twice and texted her but no answer. My brother says she needs to grow up and i should leave her to text me, another friend of mines says to lay all the cards out on the table, or another thing to do is just to say look you need to think about what you really want you cant keep putting me through this. Sorry its so long, anyone ever had problems like this or give me advice. Thanks.
i'm forwarding this thread to her email account... no really, she sounds like a drama girl. which is the worst kind of girl.
Extreme jealousy can be a disease, and really mess up people's lives. If many guys cheated on her before, its only normal that your gf has huge self-confidence and jealousy issues. She probably acts crazy and irrational with u because she cares a lot about u and thinks u're too good for her. I think she should talk about it to someone, preferably to a therapist. If u're patient enough, u can also try to help her talk, but theres a good chance she can't be rational about her relationship with u when she's around u. If u do talk to her, this : sounds like a good idea to me. I mean it's definitely unfair to u that she's treating u like u cheat/lie all the time when u don't. Imo it's actually important that she understands that u're miserable and that she might lose u because she doesn't trust u.
This reminds me a lot of the situation I went through with my first girlfriend... she started treating me like I was being completely dishonest... and she went through all my shit looking for evidence that I was going behind her back... she started saying she wasn't telling me who to talk to but acting very crazy whenever I talked to anyone but her.. I was feeling terrible and should have broken up with her but because she made me feel guilty I stayed with her for way too long. I can't say this is the same situation... but you need to be aware that she feels probably very insecure because of the way she was treated in the past. Even so it's not fair for her to be treating you like you are dishonest when you have nothing to do with those previous incidents that happened to her. She sounds manipulative which can be pretty dangerous. You have the right to be free from scrutiny and you didn't do anything wrong by talking to your friend about her for advice. She did wrong by going through your phone and reading your text messages without your permission. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, if you don't think she really trusts you, and you really need to find out, but ultimately if she can't trust you and treat you like you are trusted then there is nothing there to save. Good luck with everything.
There's no relationship without trust and respect. Firstly: talk about your relationship problems first with your gf and only afterwards with other people. Secondly: just because you are in a relationship with someone that doesn't give them any right to check your private messages. It shows lack of trust and respect for you as a person. Thirdly: alway apologize if you did something wrong, never if you haven't done anything bad. This goes for both people in a relationship. If your gf isn't prepared to admit her mistakes or tries to circumvent apologizing by saying that you have done something wrong too, you have a serious problem. She's emotionally immature. If you want a relationship to work you have to set clear boundaries. That means telling her that you won't tolerate privacy breaches, unfounded accusations and emotional abuse (silent treatment). I would try to talk to her in person, tell her again that you haven't cheated on her and therefore have no reason to feel bad about this. Explain what you thing was wrong with your relationship (see above), tell her to think about it and to call you if she thinks she's prepared to have a respectful and honest relationship with you (in case you still want her back). If she doesn't get your wake up call, I wish you all best with someone else.
