Yea well I ahve been dealing wiht my sh*t a lot lately, basically my childhood Brother brother molestation, and other FOO issues. Lately I have been noticing my dreams are weird and I need to be more in control of sex...while my Wife is really cool about things, we laugh and play during sex, unlike my first marriage....anyway, We had been joking about the Mcdonalds commercial when the lady says "I married a 14 year old" because my wife is so playful and open like a child sometimes, and she started joking about it during sex...suddenly I was pretending she was 14 and I was really getting into it...we are in our 50's... Afterwards I felt really weird and was pulling back into myself and part of me was denying it was good...I wanted to look at porn and masturbate ...I started reading about incest survivors on the web instead...The article describes much of my symptoms It seems I have been just using porn as a bandaid and it helped me realize It was to get away from the intimacy in my marriage. To be real truthful...Intimacy scares the sh*t out of me.... It occurred to me the next day that I had been doing sex to my partners for most of my life iunstead of doing sex with them....the role playing brought this to my attention because (paradoxically) by pretending she was underage and vulneable i heightened my sense of power but under it all she was acting like a "grown ass woman"....asking for this telling me not to do that....etc. ... Has anyone else had a breakthrough because of role playing in the bedroom?
Yes, I`ve gotten in touch with feelings of aggression, masochism, bisexuality, and I have satisfied many different fantasies: from things I wanted to do in the bedroom, to the kinds of women I fantasized about due to my own psychological complexes. Poor women, rich women, white women, black women, ugly women, beautiful women, strong women, frail women, etc. Sex has taught me a lot.
