Children who Swear

Hi,
Both my bf and I swear alot around the house and when we are out, and its not just the occassional 'shit'! Naturally my three and five year old boys have heard these words, and now use them around us, which I dont have a problem with.
Im concerned other people may not be so tolerant, already my five year old told me to 'fuck off' in front of my MIL, and she hit the fucking roof, but to me it was no bloody issue at all!
Am I being too liberal and tolerant? Obviously neither my bf or I want to stop swearing, so I cant be hypocritical with my boys....really I personally dont have any problem with them swearing, but others, such as teachers etc, may not be so understanding...:devil:

 

Some things really need to be taboo at the age of 3 and 5. At an age where they could understand what these words mean then shoot.

 

I say just teach them to not do it at school, tell them its considered socially unacceptable. You don't want them to get in trouble at school...maybe extend that to public places if you think it might be a problem. But I think your MIL should fuck off.

 

That's not liberal, that's stupid. And I have a feeling that you're a conservative trying to make liberals look bad.

Occasional is one thing, they should understand that they're just sounds and there's nothing inherently wrong with them. They should also understand that there's a time and a place, and if your kid is telling you to fuck off, at five years old, there's obviously serious problems, you're setting yourself up to fail badly when your kids are teens, and if you fail, you're just failing your kids and fucking their lives.

Re-assess your shit, now, because that's retarded. The kids are obviously not old enough, at ALL, to understand what you say where or on front of who, and you're going to burn this shit into their brans while they're young and mess them up. Also, swearing tends to supplant many other words, and shrink vocabularies, essentially making kids stupider. Maybe if you swear so much, this already happened to you and you can't help being stupid, but your kids deserve better. I just hope you can prove they don't deserve better than YOU.

 

^^What Roo said. Regardless of word choice, telling you to "fuck off" or any other variant thereof is grossly disrespectful, and the fact that you don't have a problem with it shows you are too LAZY to correct them. It's not just the fact that they swear, it's that they're being rude and you aren't doing anything to teach them how to treat people respectfully. Your poor kids are going to grow up with 2 word vocabularies and no friends (or terrible asshole friends, if any). Congratulations.

Oh, and don't throw the word "tolerant" around as if this is what it applies to. Tolerance is about accommodating different points of view, not accommodating maltreatment of people by children or anyone else (note, I'm not disagreeing with your viewpoint. I'm disagreeing with the results of your lack of parenting)

 

sorry solemum but I think you've been told in varying degrees that it aint on. Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude and I can eff and blind with the best of 'em but I try to tone it down when I'm with my daughters, sure I've occasionally slipped up but I don't want them going to school thinking swearing's cool and that it's ok to tell teachers to fuck off, especially as like you I work as a teaching assistant. You should also consider how that will reflect on you if they start bringing that language into the classroom. As you know we have a lot in common what with our bare feet, tattoos and piecings to name but a few but take it from me keeping it clean in front of your kids won't make you any less liberal.

For what it's worth in the right context fuck is a wonderful word and spices up the language, but like with anything, overuse will lessen its effect.

 

Thanks for your comments, obviously its hard for my boys to unlearn what they heard, and both my bf and i swear, so they do pick stuff up. I think I am going to have to try and teach them where its ok to swear and where it isn't (or at least not till their older). As I said both my bf and I have no issue at all with them swearing around us, and they all swear at school in the playground.
As you said we do have alot in common together, hows the barefooting going, you must be bloody cold! I havent had shoes on my feet for over four years now which I find so liberating, and neither of my boys have ever worn shoes - weather is gorgeous down here in Auckland, makes barefooting such a comfortable, natural experience!:devil:

 

remember you are their teacher. If my kids told me that no way would I put up with the disrespect. And they don't fully understand the meanings either.

if I do hear them swear I tell them its not right and adults only.

 

You picked the post to reply to pretty carefully.

Because as many others said, you're making your kids stupid and socially mal-adjusted.... And all you can say is "me and my bf DO swear, so they pick stuff up".... well if you gave two shits about your kids, you would NOT swear in front of them at that age, or for many years to come.

 

I think you are being too tolerant, it is not like the children have a choice in the matter and this way they will not be able to communicate appropriately in certain situations. Whereas if they were taught with some discretion and they had the choice when they were older, at least then they could adapt according to the situation, such as in a work environment or in a friends house.

 

I also find it funny how some people who replied to this thread are swearing at you and using not very polite language for teaching your kids the exact same thing. Lead by example, people.

 

Kid need to be taught that there are things that are appropriate in some settings but not in others. Actually, they already know this concept. One of the first things they ever learn is that there are things you do in a bathroom, with the door shut, that you don't do anywhere else. A similar rule applies to profanity. They should only use it at home.

Fuck you in the ass.

 

you reap what you sow

 

How did you know I liked that?

 

QFT......:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

Wow some pretty harsh words being flung about... The biggest worry would be that they don't realise that some people get irrationally upset about certain words, and for some reason fairly tame words like swear words end up in that pile. It's hard to explain to a child why a word meaning 'poo' can offend people, but quite easy to explain why a word with negative connetations like racial slurs would be offensive to folk (not saying your teaching your kids racial slurs). Just pointing out the idiocies of words meaning 'sex' or 'poo' being so socially unacceptable.

But they are socially unacceptable and you have to understand and make your children aware that using those words are going to make people treat them differently. If they don't get that, then they definitely should not be using those words. It's unfair to them, to expect a level of understanding and maturity to protect themselves from idiots who judge people on what words they know, rather than what they are actually talking about.... Or where they are coming from.

As for using swear words making you less intelligent, well that's about as idiotic a statment as making a word 'bad' for no other reason than 'because I said so'

Teach your kids and remain true to yourself x

 

parenting mistake to push your views on swearing to a kid like that...hopefully he doesnt tell any judges or popo to fuck off before he can taste society and make up his own mind...i have kids...i hear them and their parents...some actually dont swear because mom sounds like trailer trash when speaking...other less fortunate kids end up gutter mouthed just like their parents...i love curse words as a grammar tool but my kids and myself all know when and where to say fuck you

 

Nothing irrational about it. I gave a cohesive argument against swearing around the kids in the way that she does, and she ignored it and a bunch of people (like you) decided that it was irrational just because some people (like those who have an issue with swearing around adults or older kids) might be irrational about swearing.

And further, no, it's just fine to swear at the OP, OP's not a 3 or 5 year old child, as the specific ones we're discussing. I never said anything against swearing in general, it's just fine. It's about knowing where, when, and how much, and OP obviously has no concept of these.

 

You don't think it's irrational to be upset about a word that in essence means 'poo'? I do, I can totally understand why racial slurs are considered unacceptable. I would rather my kid told someone to fuck off than called a girl a slut. Because one means 'sex' and one is an incredibly derogatory and sexist word used in society. I feel the same way about the word 'bitch' which is basically called a woman a dog, and totally accepted in society. But saying 'shit' which means poo and nothing else is unacceptable. And you think that's not irrational?

I would just love to hear your logic about that.

The rest of your post confuses me, at no point did I say you were irrational, only that those who segregate words and in doing so place common swear words with hate-speak, and in doing so, somehow separate some hate speak into acceptable language, as we have seem above.

I agreed that the children should either be of an age where they should understand the affect on society of using 'bad' words, or they should not be using them, simply because their going to find people treat them different for using those words, mostly because most people believe what they are told, rather than questioning it.

Because if you question it, of course a word meaning 'poo' or another word meaning 'sex' are harmless! And of course words meaning 'a female who sleeps around' and 'a female dog' are derogatory words to use in society! It's common sense.

 

Look dude....We all know what the literal meaning of English swear words are--we don't need a vocabulary lesson. There are PLENTY of irrational "rules" society has. In the states, some people actually consider it offensive for a woman to breast feed in public. I will never understand that one. I don't think Roo is claiming that the rule itself isn't irrational--what's irrational is claiming that because you think the rule is irrational it wouldn't still apply to you. It does.

It's called PICKING YOUR BATTLES. Society is not going to have it's collective mind blown open because some mom decides she's not going to care about societal standards regarding swear words. Yes, I realize shit and fuck just mean poop and sex, though in the context of "fuck you" it's not really used as a reference to sex, it's just a harsh, general insult.

The fact remains: 3 and 5 year olds should not be allowed to insult adults and others and be taught that it's ok. THATS the issue. The kids are ALLOWED to be DISRESPECTFUL. I don't care what the exact word is! I don't care if the kid calls somebody a noodle-head--if it's used to show disrespect it shouldn't be tolerated.