Was I overreacting with jealousy or should I kick his ass to the curb?

My live-in boyfriend decided to go out with some friends today.

Neither of us have been getting out of the house much lately because its winter, we don't have a vehicle and we both work at home together. We have both been talking a lot about getting out of the house for once but lately we've been kinda broke and have turned into hermits lately.

Earlier today, he woke me up from a nap and told me he was taking off for a little bit to hang out with friends. Not just any regular friend. But he made plans to hang out with this one girl I've never met but I've heard a lot about. He made plans to hang out with her and her entire posse of females pick him up from our house.

I never felt this woman to be much of a threat because I trust my boyfriend. He doesn't hang out with her much and he often gossips about her. He says he is not attracted to her at all and it would be too weird of him because she is younger, and he's known her for years. He knew her since she was a tween age. We are only 5 years older than her (she is 22) yet he claims he isn't attracted to her because that would be too weird. Plus he see's her as one of the guys. She is not bad looking. On a scale, I would give her a 6-6.5. I wouldn't feel threatened by her but I've heard a lot about her.

Apparently, (and I've heard this for years from many people) she is a huge slut. Not the young, insecure type of slut but she is more like the female version of a 'player' kind of slut. She is the type who is fully in control of her approach. A smooth talker who plays off the more guy-ish role of being promiscuous. Not only this but she does not like me. I never actually met her but I've seen her in person a few times throughout the years. She has no reason to dislike me. We never talked before. She doesn't admit to him that she doesn't like me and she only tells him that she doesn't know me and that's that. But she has badmouthed me to my friends and she doesn't make an effort to get to know me. I'm not too worried about her but she also has a solid group of female friends who also like to get down. They are proud sluts and they picked up my boyfriend.

My boyfriend is a very attractive man. On a scale, I would give him an 8-8.5, which is the same I would give for myself. He is hotter than most male celebs I can think of. And he looks like a rockstar, acts like mr. cool. He isn't the player type at all though. I thought I got lucky with this one. He is against one-night-stands and he's a long-term relationship kind of guy. What I've noticed throughout the years; even though we've only been dating for 6 months, is that he doesn't ever need to go to the ladies. Chicks have always come to him. He has that look and all he has to do is 'give in'.

He did not invite me to go with him. However, I was just waking up from my nap and I wasn't in any condition to leave the house at that moment. He pretty much told me he's gonna hang out with that girl and all her friends and they're picking him up at that time. He was putting on his jacket and getting ready to go. His main friend calls him while he's getting ready and she sounds like a gitty little school girl who passes the phone to her girl friend, who is also talking to my boyfriend like a giddy little school girl. He wasn't acting flirtatious or anything and he seemed very casual and I didn't think much of it but I was a little jealous. I'll admit that I felt kinda pissed at him but there wasn't anything I was gonna do or wanted to do about it. i have male friends too, so whatever. I just wish I could have gone but he told me he'll see me later and he kissed me on the back of my head before walking out the door. I was calm but it was obvious I was upset. I just laid in bed and stayed distant but mentioned that it bothers me that she doesn't like me.

Anyway, he told me he was gonna take my other phone with him since he doesn't have a phone. That way i could contact him if I needed to. I told him I didn't need to get a hold of him. I meant that sincerely and I really just meant it like "I don't have any reason to call you so I'll see you when you come home". But since I was just mad, he took it wrong and thought I was being a b*tch so he started attitude with me. Then he peaced out.

While he was gone, I noticed that he took the whole bag of cigarette tobacco, tubes and the rolling machine. We roll our own cigarettes. He left me a few on the plate but since I was upset, I chain smoked those 3 within 45 minutes before I noticed he took the rolling supplies. So then I decided to call him.

This is our entire phone conversation (at least what sums it up):

-I call the first time and he answers but all I hear is the sound of a button being pressed then he hangs up.
-I call 2 more times. On the second time he answers and he seems like he's in a good mood.

ME: I asked him if he hung up on me and said i called a couple times and it got disconnected.
HIM: "No I didn't even hear my phone ring it was in my pocket so it probably pushed buttons. Sorry, yo". He seemed happy and way chill at the time.
ME: I call him out on the cigarettes and explain there are no cigarettes here. I asked why he needed the whole bag (tobacco good for at least a few days).
HIM: Makes smart ass comment and says "I'd imagine I'm gonna wanna smoke cigarettes today".
ME: (My dry sense of humor) "Hanging out with a bunch of chicks today and you don't invite me. I see how it goes." I was pretty much saying tsk tsk with my dry sense of humor but he didn't get it.
HIM: "Don't get mad at me. Nobody said you couldn't come." Then he throws this attitude at me out of nowhere. Interrupts everything I say and getting mad.
ME: Now I'm getting salty and I start telling him everything that's on my mind and I bring in a little jealousy and I say how it does bother me that he's hanging out with someone who doesn't like me.
HIM: "She never said you can't come with us and she doesn't even know you". He just doesn't believe that she doesn't like me.
ME: I didn't have much time to get ready so its chill that I didn't go but the circumstances were bothering me. Plus, I just woke up tired and cranky at that moment and I didn't have cigarettes. So I ask him, "Do you know when you might get back or should I go buy a pack of cigarettes?

During the last words I spoke to him, he continued to interrupt me and I couldn't understand what he was shouting at me because I was speaking at the same time.

Then he just hangs up.

At this point I was pretty pissed off. I was very upset that he hung up on me and all I really wanted to know was if I should go spend our last $5 on a pack of cigarettes. So I call back to ask him and wonder wtf??

He doesn't answer a couple times and the third time I called, a chick answers the phone.

HER: Hello?
ME: Is ______________ there?
HER: Yeah just a second.

They hung up on me.

Now I'm really pissed. I keep calling back because I thought that was just really disrespectful and I'm f-ing PISSED!!! I stayed calm the whole time we spoke and explained how I felt. We both have pretty bad cabin fever and for the past few days we talked about getting out of the house together and "paint the town red". Neither of us have gotten out of the house and done anything together since summer. Mainly because its cold and we don't have a vehicle. But I do live in the best neighborhood of my town so I live in the downtown area, close enough to anything I need. We both agreed sometime within the next couple days to go out and party with each other and stay away from home. I just felt hurt that he took off with a car full of hotties and never even asked if I wanted to go. It didn't bother me too much since i expected him to be back within the next few hours. Only because whenever he goes out with his friends, he always wants to come back home and goes home within a few hours. I would like him to hang out with people more without me and he wants to. But I just explained how it bothered me that she didn't care for me and then she wants to hang out with my boyfriend and she's the one person I never get invited to hang out with. But usually he is gone for no longer than a couple hours and he's only hung out with her 3 times in the past 6 months of us dating. I never felt upset about him hanging out with her and I never thought of him as acting suspicious. I really don't think he left the house with intentions of cheating on me at all. But this time it made me a little jealous only cause its him, another guy and a bunch of chicks hanging out and he never asked me to go but there was a large group of people.

He left the house earlier in the afternoon, about 4pm or so. I started calling him around 6-ish and after he had another girl answer the phone then hang up on me again, he never once answered the phone. I continued to annoy him by redialing his (My) phone constantly for about an hour and a half. He never once answered but never turned his phone off either. I did turn into an annoying girlfriend for a minute and called him about 50 times within that time. I just felt that he was rude and disrespectful and now I have a million things running through my head.

I expected him to be back before 9-ish though. Because our good friend was supposed to stop by and bring us a bag of dank weed. The day went by so slow because I just wanted to chill out and smoke since I had nothing else to do and I wasn't in the best mood. I tried getting a hold of him again because the friend who was supposed to stop by at 9 requested that my bf pays him the $5 he owes. My boyfriend has that money because he took cans back (we live in michigan and get a deposit from recycling cans) but he forgot to leave the $5 with me while he was gone. So I told our friend we don't have that $5. We only had $50 for the dank. But unfortunately, our friend decided to not stop by that night. So then I started to call my bf just to tell him it didn't go through and I needed to get the number for our backup caregiver.

Still, he wouldn't answer his phone or respond to the text asking for phone numbers. I was actually calling for somewhat important issues that needed his prompt attention. So I did call him about 5o times within 1.5 hours.

So no weed for the evening. =(

Anyway, he still wasn't home but i gave up on calling. The last text I sent out was earlier in the day and I was pretty much just apologizing if I overreacted but I would really like him to help me get a hold of people and I said thanks, sorry and I'll see you when you get home. I haven't texted or called him since.

But now its 8am and he never came home last night. That isn't like him at all and it does look pretty bad that he gets picked up by a car full of chicks, doesn't invite me, hangs up on me, doesn't update me and doesn't come home. I haven't heard from him since 6pm ish.

This bothers me because early in the day I took him to Best Buy and stood with him in the game aisle. I casually asked him what games are good and then asked him what game would he like the most. He showed me the new Call of Duty so I grabbed it and walked to the register with it. He was confused but that's when I told him that I bought him a PS3 for christmas and I needed him to tell me what game he wants. He was so excited and claimed that it was the best present he's ever gotten from anyone. So we bought the game he wanted and I'm saving the ps3 for tomorrow. Then we go home, I fall asleep and he wakes me up to tell me he's leaving with these girls. Then he pulls this shit.

Anyway, I should wrap this up soon. But what should I do about him? Was I just overreacting or does this really look like I have something to be worried about? I do know that they were all drinking tequila. He doesn't have a vehicle and it is very possible that he just got really drunk, passed out and nobody was capable of driving (especially since last night was one of the first signs of winter and the roads were empty). But is this something I would have the right to be pissed about? Should I break up with him and not give him his PS3?

When he actually comes home, how should I immediately handle the situation? When and how should I discuss what happened and how should I handle talking to him about this? How would you do it?

There is one last detail about our relationship that I forgot to mention. I recently broke up with him a few weeks ago. Because of financial reasons, he has been staying at the house till he can afford to move out. When I broke up with him a few weeks ago, he was crushed. He got pretty emotional about it and so did I. I was still hurt and I still have feelings for him but I broke it off. He kept telling me he didn't wanna lose me and he was trying hard to get me back. I kinda missed being with him as a couple and we decided a few days ago to get back together. Then he oulls this BS!!

My god, I'm sorry for this short story I wrote but at least it semi makes sense and hopefully it wasn't painfully damaging the past 20 minutes. Thank you for whoever takes the time to read this.

At least just tell me how i should handle him when he gets home at least. What would u do?

 

Aw man...you are so not going to like the answers you're gonna get.

 

you're an 8.5 but you act like a 6

you are caressing his ego - let him get on with it

if he cares he'll take notice and be a little more rational

if not - ask yourself whether he's even worth it.

 

people are too cynical.

 

I think u should have started worrying about his friendship with that girl a lot earlier. I mean, it's okay for a guy to have female friends, but it's really strange to constantly hang out with a 22yo "female version of a 'player' kind of slut" who conspicuously hates his long-term girlfriend.

The fact that u apparently never pointed that out to him in the past, and now suddenly give him hell for going out with her is a sure way of driving him into her arms.
Besides, calling someone 50 times in a row while they never pick up their phone is plain crazy! That turned u into a psycho jealous /seriously annoying girlfriend, so yea, no wonder he didn't come home last night. And please don't think that because u bought him a videogame (or that because he seemed crushed last time u dumped him) is going to make a difference.
I would be very annoyed if i were him, so u should probably expect him to be upset and cross at u when he gets home.
I dont know what i would do if i were u, i mean it's kinda too late to apologize when u've spent the evening calling someone's phone over and over again. It would make anyone think u're crazy. (sorry if that sounded harsh but hey thats my opinion)

 

So you broke up with him yet still live with him aka friends with benefits ... if he is not holding his own financially, kick his ass out the door --- and he thinks you are on "break" so other girls are thrown in your face. You are the dominant one here, he seems to be a loser holding on for free rent.