I was with a girl for almost four years, we lived together and so on.. I really loved her, and I still care about her, but she wont talk to me anymore after the breakup. Thats fine with me, i only wish her well. The thing is, We didnt have sex the last two years together, because I didnt want to. it felt wrong, and i wasnt attracted to her anymore.. but she still stayed with me.. if she only knew what I did to her.. I cheated, More than once, and she never got to know. I still feel so bad, its eating me up inside.. its a long time since this happened, and ive got a new girlfriend now. But i honestly cant promise to myself that im not going to cheat on her aswell.. even tho i never want to hurt her either. what the hell is wrong with me?!? The once im sleeping with has also been men, damn ugly, discusting men.. and i dont sleep around unges im in a relationship. Seriously, i need some sort of help..
I'm the same way. It doesn't matter how much I care about the person, I'll cheat. I found that I won't cheat if there's a big chance of her cheating though(in my head I guess). One of those, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." kind of thing.
I don't know how to explain it very well but, I kind of understand. The thought of just being with one person for a long time can be scary. Maybe you are afraid of commitment. ugh
Breaking up ... falling out of love ... is a long, slow process sometimes. If you were already emotionally separate, and just going through the motions of still being together, sleeping in the same bed but not sleeping with each other ... then were you really cheating on her? You were no longer fulfilling one another's physical needs, and your relationship was on the way out. So were you really "cheating on her" when seeking fulfilment elsewhere? What would "not cheating" have involved? And what difference would it have made? I think you need to be in a live relationship for teh concept of "cheating" to have any meaning ... and you were in a dead relationship (or at least a decaying one). So stop beating yourself up about it. Look to the future and don't worry. If you're in a loving, fulfilling, mutually satisfactory relationship you won't cheat. Honest. There'll be neither need, nor occasion for it.
