Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer

About 40%.


When I wurr butta lad,we 'ad machines for doin' maths. Oh,aye. Pencils,they wurr called.

So-you,reading this....do you REALLY need a calculator in your mobile phone?

 

Not really, but why do they call it a calculator when it doesn't do calculus?

 

Because you really need an abacus.

When is it permissable to drool?

 

When you're truly happy mate!

When is it time to take action Jackson?

 

When the big hand is on the three.

Where do sleeping dogs lie?

 

In sleeping doghouses.

And another thing, why call it a calculator when you want it to work for you now, not later?

 

Its only milliseconds later.

Why are these things we type on called keys when they don't unlock anything?

 

cos they lock things

what are ashtrays for ?

 

So you won't loose your roach.

What are flowers for?

 

To help a guy get laid.

Are all women psychic?

 

Only on there period.

Why do people smoke cigarettes?

 

Actually the cigarette fumigates their lungs...not the other way around...in fact the cigs burn.

Why are crickets so sexy?

 

Because there chirpy.

Where does one go to dance a jig?

 

preferably a flat,non-slip floor.


D'you think I should trim my beard,seeing as it's starting to look like I'm eating a possum?

 

Depends if your going to deep fry the possum.

Whats the difference between an Opossum and a Possum?

 

O'Possum comes from County Kerry in Southern Ireland.
Possum comes from 'over'. [England,to you colonials]




Why am I not attending to the milling throng of friends and willing wenches packed into my house atm,rather than sat here like Billy-No-Mates,typing????

 

ps-----there really ARE throngs of scantily clad laydeez all clamouring for my attention. . . . . .honest.


well. . . .




ok - they're chickens and they want feeding.



FUCK OFF!

 

Maybe your possum beard is scaring them.

Whats the best way to get rid of a worn out fake Christmas tree?

 

Disguise it as a small leather box with TIFFANYS engraved on it,then leave it on any street corner. Doddle!





Why don't 'Christmas Special' tv shows hold my attention?

 

Because they actually all suck?

Is it time for me to go home now?