A whole new set of problems

I really agree with the part about jealousy. I do feel it with this situation, but I am trying so hard to not control her in any way. She is confused about her feelings for the other guy, and I have tried to hear it out and allow her to do what she feels is the right thing to do. I hated asking the question about choosing between us. I guess it was sort of a harsher way of asking who comes first. But she couldn't answer it.

 

Soul-searching is cool. But if it were up to me, she`d have to do it in her own time. I feel like keeping a relationship, while she develops a competing one under the pretext of being confused is having the cake and eating it too.

Theoretically, she could give an equal amount of importance to both of you. But, in order for that to work for me, I would have to myself be very close to (and, possibly romantically involved with) the other guy. Which, doesn`t seem to be the case.

 

This other guy and I were close at one time. Once she realized her feelings for him, we started drifting apart. I think it mostly had to do with her wanting him, and knowing that he wouldn't do anything with her if I was there. But at the same time, he has done a lot to make sure that I am not there with them when they hang out.

She told me that while I was away for the holidays, he started really flirting and texts her all the time. He once had a crush on another girl, but he recently told my girlfriend that he was over the other girl. Which she took it as a sign that he was interested in her.

 

Yeah, see. To me that`s duplicitous on both their parts. Grounds for ending a relationship for me, to be sure.

 

I agree. She didn't even realize she was doing that to me. And I think that is one of the other reasons why she wants to do this break thing.

 

Ok, dude... She is bullshitting you. Maybe she really doesn't know who she likes best at this point, but it sounds like it's him.
And she knows it.

If you want her back, you'll have to give her a taste of her own medicine... Show her / pretend you're interested in another girl perhaps? You don't seem like the type to play games though... Which is sad because she's playing you.

You are her safety net! If it doesn't work out with the other guy she knows she has you to fall back on. Do you want to be a consolation prize?

You should make sure she sees you out with a girl... Maybe someone you know she's jealous of, or envies. If you have a close girl friend they might be willing to act super into you in front if her. Girls love that shit.

Then, call her and dump her. Take the safety net away. Don't dump her in a "I never want to see you again" way, but in a "I'm not going to be your back-up plan" way. Say you're moving on, and she's ruined her chance.

Don't be weak!

I bet she'll smarten up... And if not, you'll be free sooner!

If you want to get really manipulative... Maybe start a rumor about the other guy having an STD or find a friend to seduce him and make sure she finds out about it.

Once you get her to come crawling back, dump her ass anyway. She doesn't deserve such a cool, non-controlling guy who only tries to give her what she wants. There are lots of better women out there.

 

It sounds like she's just not that into you anymore. It sounds like you guys are breaking up. If I were you I would go explore some other women instead of hanging around waiting for her to come back to you.

 

I am sort of looking around at other girls, but the problem is that I hardly have any female friends, and the ones I do have are in relationships. Most of the other girls I know won't come around me because I have been unavailable for so long. It's annoying to try and strike up conversations with girls that I don't know, or hardly know. But, I'll see what I can do.

 

Sounds like you're both too chicken to break up. Good luck!

 

it really really is, but girls have this thing where they're only willing to do anything sexual with strangers, so that's pretty much your only option.

 

Nothing wrong with being single, IMO.