How do I tell my wife i think i might be "bi"?

Hello everyone. I have recently discovered I am quite possibly bisexual as I desire to perform sexual acts on men. My only issue is figuring out a way to tell my spouse. I am not sure how she would react to the news, as she sometimes seems close minded about the topic, but then other times not.

When she drinks, she makes comments that make me think she suspects something..but I dont know exactly how she will react..and that is what scares me. On one hand, I can see her freaking out..on the other..I can see her not being suprised at all. I wish there was a way to see exactly how she would react..before I tell her. Any suggestions? Thanks !

 

Then don't.

Why does she have to know?

 

because any relationship built with lies is doomed. he should be straight up.

Simon

 

Tell her and let the chips fall where they may if u are bi don't u deserve someone who will love u for who u really are and not who u pretend to be?

 

But he's not lying.

 

I don't know what the point is in telling her unless you're prepared for your marriage to dissolve. If you come to the point where you know you're going to cheat, just end the marriage first then you won't have to lie & sneak - a horrible lifestyle for you and a devastating experience for her.

As painful as divorce is, it's better than the cheating option. If you want to tell her in hopes that she'll accept it, just be prepared for the more likely scenario of having a very hurt, bitter, confused wife hellbent on serving you up a big cold dish of revenge via nasty dee-vorce nightmare.

 

Aw. I can't believe there are people here who believe it's acceptable to lie to your wife, and to yourself.

You can't not tell her. Bite the bullet and say it. Sit her down, tell her you love her, and tell her just how it is. Tell her you're bi-curious, and recently you've found yourself attracted to and having fantasies about men. She might not like what you have to say, but I can guarantee she'll appreciate your honesty.

 

I'd tell her naked.

 

no he's cheating - what basis is that for a relationship; he's not being truthful, he's deceiving her.

you're wrong - women can have much more understanding, mixed orientation relationships are not unusual in today's world and if you each have love and respect for one another then much can be accepted, but breaking a trust is not likely to help any acceptance. I know, I've been there.

Simon

 

tell her, she might wanna join in on some extra-marital fun. me personally i just go for chicks as i found this post under "new posts" thought i'd have to give you that advice lol

 

Wait are you really cheating?.And I think if you were cheating then she would probably be more mad about that then you being bi. I mean she did marry you!. So im guessing she loves you at least a little
bit. ;P. I would hope she would be understanding. I think you should tell her...but do it in a complete confident assertive way.Not in a passive way. She is your wife. She will understand. Being bi is no biggie. Cheating on the other hand is bad.

 

He would be, if she asked him and he constantly lied about this and would sleep with other men. Ten he would be lying about his orientation, but he is not. What kind of logic is that you cheat every time you are not telling something that doesn't even need to be told? What if his wife overreacts? He obviously doesn't want to leave her, but can you tell that she will accept this fact as it's not a big deal? You can't, so why does he need to risk this if it doesn't even matter in their marriage?

This never does any good. Never. She could freak out, replace being bi by being gay in her head and it's over. Women kinda tend to do this.

But whatever, he should know how his wife reacts and if she could be OK with it, he should tell her the most gentle way he can. And asure her that it won't affect their relationship in any way. And be really careful. Because at this point, even if she's loving and understanding, she can still freak out with the idea him doing it with someone else, even (more like mainly) if he says he is " just curious", cos that basicaly means he wants to try it.

 

"Honey, I want to suck some dick"

 

Direct ... to the point ... and just invites the response "Trust me, honey, if yours is anything to go by, it's nothing to write home about" :smilielol5:

 

"i might be bi."

you're welcome.

 

I'm not wrong nor are you. We're both giving our opinions on it. I made it pretty clear with words & phrases such as prepared and more likely scenario etc.

I suppose I should have said the possibility of versus more likely though. None of us can really know ourselves 100% so we can't predict how others will react to something like this.

I wasn't making any objective determination only sharing my subjective opinion. The advice about divorcing instead of sneaking around cheating was also my opinion on the better option if he isn't going to tell her.

I suppose I should have been clearer. If it were me (and I AM in this situation) if I ever decide I have to have another male lover (haven't since Feb '85) I would rather tell her and risk the fallout, or the possibility of acceptance though in my situation is about nil, rather than just leaving her. I do love her and don't want to live without her so yes if I cannot keep my desires suppressed I'll tell her. She already knows I'm sure, but she doesn't want to hear it from my mouth as long as I'm not acting on it, and she knows I'm not.

I got carried away again . . . .

 

Have her read your post.

 

it's not figuring out how to tell her you're bi that you gotta do.
it's figuring out how the hell you got your life to a point where you're married to a female while wanting sex with men at the same time. and, unless she's very liberal on the sex in the marriage/relationship issue, you've dug yourself into a sizeable mess here.

 

It seems to me, that you would have to tell her your feelings - it's just a matter of ... timing

 

I told my wife I wanted to have a cock gag me. I didn't know how she would taking it and was very nervous about it. We were very highest the time and she made me gag on her vibe then fucked my ass hard with it. Im guessing she took it well, we now have a strap on that she fucks be with. I still want to feel a real cock in my mouth!