Antidepressants and the mistrust of doctors

So I've been diagnosed with depression in the past (I was 14, most of it was probably just "angst" but it was still pretty heavy) and over the years I've been put on Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, and Prozac in that order. As soon as I started the Lexapro, I lost my ability to lucid dream. It worked, though, in the sense that I felt absolutely nothing, no depression, no happiness, just nothing. Effexor gave me fits of rage. Cymbalta made me feel physically odd, sorta like the Lexapro but also like my head was on a balloon. And Prozac made me just insane, I guess I got a little bit of the ol' mania, staying up for days, filling notebooks with crazy nonsense, carving shapes into my skin. That was when I swore off antidepressants for good. I was 17.

And now I find myself in a very dark spot. I've come to expect it only a few days a month, around That Time of the Month, but these past few months it just doesn't go away. I'm not sure if it's depression, anxiety, or both, as I've been a very anxious person my whole life and I really haven't gone out of my house in months and I barely sleep because when I try it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest and I have trouble breathing.

I don't do any drugs, I try to get exercise and I drink a ton of water. But I still feel very.... black inside my head. At the risk of sounding completely insane, I hear (or is it that I create?) voices at times, always of the negative variety.

It's getting pretty intense, so I've been toying with the idea of seeing a doctor. There's a free mental health clinic in my town. But I know that they'd try to put me right back on SSRI's, and that's no good. Bleh.

Is there anybody out there who has successfully overcome depression without the horrid chemicals that are SSRI's? HOW?! And I know from past recreational use that benzo's help me feel like.... complete, happy, but I know there's no way they'd prescribe them to me if they know I used to drink every day, smoke weed, etc. etc.

And is there any way to get my lucid dreaming back? I didn't know I could do it until it ended. It was cool. I miss it.

(Man it felt good just to kinda type all that up.)

 

maybe you drink to much water.. brain needs minerals. like salt, you wash away all the sodium and brain cant function.

If you force large amounts of water into your system over a short period of time, your kidneys will struggle to eliminate enough water from your system to keep the overall amount at a safe level.
As your circulatory system becomes diluted with excess water, the concentration of electrolytes in your blood will drop relative to the concentration of electrolytes in your cells. In an effort to maintain an equal balance of electrolytes between your blood and your cells, water will seep into your cells from your blood, causing your cells to swell.
If this swelling occurs in your brain, you'll experience increased intracranial pressure i.e. your brain will get squeezed because the flat bones that make up your skull don't provide much give. Depending on how much water your drink in a short period of time, you could experience a wide variety of symptoms, ranging from a mild headache to impaired breathing. And as occurred recently in the tragic water-drinking contest, it is quite possible to die if you drink enough water in a short enough period of time.
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I also have depression, and prozac also made me pretty insane as well. Unfortunately, I don't know how to overcome depression.

Do you have to tell them you used to drink and smoke weed every day?

 

Lol I guess I don't. And that's interesting about the water. It's not like I have water drinking contests though.

 

I reccomend you read up on niacin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K2tqxKf2EE"]Natural Treatment for Depression Explained - Naicin B3 - Food Matters - YouTube

Also, find out about Candida.
http://www.realitysandwich.com/theres_fungus_among_us_0

 

There is a much under-rated natural anti-depressant called St John's Wort. You can buy it in tablet form an an over-the-counter remedy at pharmacies here in the UK ... I don't know about elsewhere. It is much less potent than SSRIs, but it does work, and it doesn't have the nasty consequences of the SSRIs.

I was one of the Seroxat guinea-pigs; and I was a REAL mess when it came to trying to get off teh damn stuff. BUT what enabled me to do it, in the end, was SJW - gradually introducing it alongside the Seroxat, then taking the Seroxat out leaving me with just the SJW, then slowly lowering the SJW dose until I didn't need it at all.

So I'd say go and talk to a pharmacist, tell them that you need a mild anti-depressant but have had bad experiences with prescribed SSRIs, and ask them about St John's Wort.

 

If you are having negative or almost opposite reactions to anti depressants there is a chance you may have what is called drug resistant depression.

I was diagnosed with this before getting my bipolar diagnosis.

I was put on mood stabilizers instead of anti depressive medication, it worked great but beware it is not a cure all I still get down from time to time.

Might be something to look into.

 

I too have battled the feelings of depression as far back as I can remember feeling sad. Everyone is different from our genetic makeup to our unique circumstances thourought our lives. Both of which directly affects how we feel or our lack of feeling. At about the age of 27, after talking to so many counslers, psychotherapists, psychologists and plain old doctors who would ask the same old questions and prescribe the latest antidepressant, I decided to take a new approach. I did still go to a doctor, however, I did a lot of "meet and Greets" with several Psychiatrists until I met one that I felt comfortable with. If you want to feel better, you need to have full disclosure with your doctor. They have a responsibility to protect your privacy. I told her about a friend of mine who gave me some of her medicine to try and It worked and made me feel proactive instead of not caring. It was not a antidepressant. Anyway she did reprimand me for taking a unpresribed medication but she also understood and in tun gave me the same medication. I still feel the depression start to come around sometimes but not at all like it used to be and it goes away fast. Sometimes we feel like were depressed when we may be feeling overwhelmed and need a stimulant instead of an antidepressant or both.