''work it out'' isnt always good advice

i am sick of all the people here trying to get hopeless relationships to work...not enough of you give honest opinions...i mean come on...the dude wont fuck you-leave....the girl uses head as a reward-leave...he/she fucked someone at work-leave....just fucking leave.....leaving someone sends the strongest possible message and is usually a catalyst to make things work

WHEN THERE IS STILL SOME HOPE


so ya......leave

 

Seems to me that if a mutual relationship is to work then there needs to be compromise - though when the signs of break down and break up are of such degree of concern, then it is only a matter of time before the distance to unity is too wide - and no point in continuing the distress

 

Hmm

So you will leave someone you truly love just to send a message.

A girl did that to me once and that threw me off a lot, but yeah I got back with her. I did it to a girl before but it really hurt her, so much that she couldn't be in relationship with me again because she was afraid that I will hurt her again.

 

So it goes both ways

 

no wrong...both of you....breaking up can give both people a different perspective....the feelings needed for the guiltier party or ''bad'' person to reconcile can be very healing......lets face it...i am not talking about newlyweds in their first fight...i am referring to the threads about repeat offenders where the complainant is at wits end.......and dreams?...using failed relationships to bolster your side of the debate or point...well i point out that failed relationships actually mean that leaving would have been the correct advice to at least 1 side of every failed relationship ever


still leave...its yer best shot

 

A phrase a heard a bazillion times during my lengthy separation and eventual divorce, coming from my now former husband, was "make this work".

In my case that was absurd.

To me, the love in a relationship should flow. The love should be what helps to ease problems. The love should be what is there that naturally sustains a relationship.

For me, if I have to be involved in constantly "making" a relationship "work", those are clues that something is seriously wrong.

 

also making out

sometimes these threads make me feel like i am rare in my love of a good groping

 

how come I feel like your referring to me :toetap05:

 

i agree, if you are referring to completely lost causes, where no amount of "working it out" will do either party any favours... but there are relationships where things can be worked on with a good chance of success... we all have different needs from a relationship, so i suppose it all depends on what we need and what we are prepared to compromise... life is for learning, experiencing and growing/changing after all, ain'tit :daisy:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNfuTDbdKoY"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNfuTDbdKoY

 

ok girls...takes 3 of you?..ganging up on me?...you girls will never learn...always talkin when you should be listening.. lol

i was...jk

sorry...point declared invalid because I have a huge crush on you....you are disqualified

the mods here do a wonderful job under difficult circumstances....
..everyone here knows they can do no wrong



ftr...twice i was a dipshit and stuck it out despite obvious signs all around me.....and if i had of posted here you all would be like ''communication....bibbidy boobidy shmoobity stick it out...you have kids...'''
and i would still be in relationship hell


i still say leaving is your best shot

 

I'm with Rolling on this one. Goddamnit people, you only get one life. Why waste it being miserable with someone that is supposed to make you happy? Jeez...

The best advice I ever got was when I was going through a tough time with someone I was absolutely in love with. I didn't have any pride in that relationship; I would gladly let myself get hurt over and over again all in the name of "working it out."

Then someone told me that relationships are about love, not work. If a relationship is work, its not a relationship, it is a job. If you're compromising too much its because that person is not a good fit for you.

Seriously, best advice I ever got. People would be a lot happier in their relationships if they followed that advice.

 

I wish I had of known this before throwing myself at you and begging you for a chance.:svengo:

 

Rolling, Dude, I was agreeing with you...sort of...in what I wrote.

The Beatles were here just to point out where (love songs) we may have picked up some the notion that we should always try to work things out.

 

its all good ladies...mel- has a great point....if its too much work its better to find a better match......i suppose another approach would be to say ''stop expecting so much out of a relationship''....i know of one very lovely lady that is in a relationship that she knows will end eventually but it suits her needs right now so she sticks it out politely,biding her time until she knows better what she wants in life...she is smart enough to know she is way young and in no rush to husband it up

 

fascist :toetap05:

:love:

 

Nobody is perfect, the mister pisses me off on a regular basis. :biggrin: But, if you are miserable you need to leave.

"Making it work" usually means only one person is trying, when a good relationship takes two.

 

I have tried to work things out for awhile with somebody who was really fucked up. When I ask myself why I really can't answer it. I cared for that person and saw glimpses of what I wanted in her. There were times that I would think to myself when she was around "If you could only be this way all the time I would marry you and we would be happy." The problem is that she was a very unhappy person with a lot of metal disorders that sucked me into her drama. Everything would be going really good then out of the blue something blew up and it left me asking "what the fuck just happened and why?" I think when you are a person who tries to find logic in things and it doesn't make any sense it can cloud your judgement trying to look for answers.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDhEsmOVs7k"]VV Brown "Leave" unplugged - YouTube

 

I tried making it work with somebody for the sake of a little person.

Was the worst thing ever, I was miserable. Oddly enough too I remember telling girlfriends I was going to leave when little person was older. I hate him to this day if I seen him I think I'd punch him.

Don't get me wrong I did love him at one stage very early.