BF Would Rather Masturbate Than Have Sex

Hello All,

I just joined today hoping to get some support with my problem.

My boyfriend and I met about 4 years ago, and started dating about 7 months ago. Things are good, he is a great guy, a little too jealous sometimes but overall good guy. When we started dating sex was amazing with him we would do it several times a day every time we hung out (on the weekends only) and each time was better than the last. For the past 2 months our sex life has been so bad, He has declined my advances for sex, he gets uncomfortable when i talk dirty to him. We only have sex about once every 2 weeks and its just not as good as it used to be AT ALL, it feels like he's just doing it cause he has to and its making me feel insecure and unattractive. Today I asked him if he has jerked off and he said yes, so i asked him if he would rather jerk off than have sex with me and he said that jerking off is easier and sex takes too much. How Can he prefer to watch porn and jerk off than to have sex with me?

At one point i thought that maybe he was with someone else but routine has not changed at all, we are the same couple we were 7 months ago minus teh sex.

I consider my self a pretty woman, im constantly getting hit on by men, i just dont understand why he is acting like this. I thought that maybe he didnt want to be with me anymore reason why he was being like that but he is making plans for our future and we are just moving forward in this relationship. I have asked him about the kind of porn that he likes and fetishes that he might be into but he immediately shuts down and doesnt want to talk about it. I dont know what to do anymore, i feel like I love him but i cant be in a sexless relationship.

im so confused. Help

 

^ The logic there completely escapes me.

 

You need to tell him how sex is important, no sense moving forward in the relationship where you are not happy.

 

sounds like hes gone loopy

 

What do you mean?

 

It sounds like something happened, maybe something u're unaware of, in his personal life. I mean, u dont go from great passionate sex to declining sexual advances and being uncomfortable with your lover just like that.

those two things are not related, and i find it kinda naïve of u to think that physical beauty means your bf has to want u.

 

I meant that the fact that your routine hasn't changed is exactly why a man would cheat on u, not the other way round.

 

I have spoken to him about how important sex is for me and he seems to want to make a change and then he'll initiate sex but it just doesnt feel real. He is such a great guy for everything else, He's lovable, he motivates me to do things that i procrastinate on, everything else is so good.

 

I dont think anything has happened, him and i have a great relationship we get along so great. We have talked about his ex gf and from what i know he was really in love with her and was even ready to take the next step but he told me that after 8 months the same thing happened with her and sex.


[/QUOTE]those two things are not related, and i find it kinda naïve of u to think that physical beauty means your bf has to want u.[/QUOTE]

Thats the first thing that attracted him to me, after that came my personality and the way i take care of him when we are together.

 

I seriously dont think this has anything to do with cheating, this is deeper than that. Its maybe some pills that he is taking to prevent hair loss, maybe his age he's 36, maybe he has a porn addiction, or some fetish that he is embarassed to admit.

 

Ok so this tell me he has other issues, same issue

 

still, how does that mean he has to want u?

 

Definitely!!! I have tried to talk and he immediately shuts down. I dont want to break up with him because everything else is so good but i have to be realistic, can i be in a sexless relationship?? idk

 

Why wouldn't he if the chemistry is there? Its messed up, in the beginning we had he best sex but he wasn't that affectionate with me, now its the other way around the affection is there but the sex has diminished.

I cant win

 

Only if you like toys................

You have to put your foot down and you need to decide. Tell him that you are thinking of ending it because you make love with a dildo every night or you'd end up in another mans bed.

 

I love toys but that cant replace the touch of a man. Im working up the courage to speak to him about it this weekend.

 

You need to tell him flat out.

 

maybe he just thinks that jerking off is easier and sex takes too much.

 

Ya ain't throw it down like him need it thrown