Am I bisexual, and does my spouse suspect it?

so I have always been a very straight man. I love women, and I am married. 6 years ago, a year before i met my wife, i noticed that when i saw a mans penis..i became very sexually aroused. i began having intense and frequent sexual fantasies of giving a hot guy oral sex and getting anal. the fantasies are so intense that i simulate the acts with sex toys. anyways, girls i have dated have confronted me about my orientation, and men hit on me. the catch in all this is..i have no desire at the current time to date a guy. honestly, my confusion is at an all time high, and i dont know how to handle it.

lot of it is curiosity. wondering if its for me. the weird thing too is how many female friends of mine have confronted me about it. my wife has made comments when shes wasted that make me think she suspects something, and then there was the whole craigslist thing

she caught me looking at the casual encounters on craigslist once. like, i searched for bi couples. shes like, why were you on there? at first i denied it, then shes like dont lie to me..its not that a big of a deal. you arent gay are you? i said no, then shes like..its not that big of a deal. she had seen the browsing history.

PS. I am 27.

HELP

 

this is a tough situation, I am in a similar boat.

I am bi and in denial about it. Before I met my wife, I explored that side of me and had some fun. I met a guy through craigslist and we talked online and on the phone a while before I finally went over to his place and we spent some time together. He was not pushy and we just hung out like 2 guys. It was almost time to go home and I told myself, dont leave without trying what you wanted to. I just said to him, "I will regret this on the way home if I dont do it,so can you take your cock out?" He did and I started stroking and sucking it and totally enjoyed it.

I told my wife about that experience and she was shocked by it and asked if I was still into that. we joke about it quite a bit. I have never been fully honest with her and I think I need to be. We have 2 kids and I dont want to erode things. She cheated on me 4 months after we got married and we went to therapy to work through it and got to a good place. It is now years later and we are slowly eroding away again. I feel like I am growing away from her as a person.

I know that wasnt advice, just sharing my position as well. As I get older and learn more life lessons, I am learning that you need to do what you enjoy before it is too late.

Perhaps you can have her watch you or enjoy the activity together? My wife jokes about that with me. I guess in my dreams, I think that if I tell her she will be ok with it, but the fear of rejection is still there.

 

I can relate to your situation . I have been married for 30 years .I'm bi-curious . I think about orel and anal sex with other guys I have a dildo and a little vibe that play with.My wife hates them .
I wanted to tell my wife about the way I felt , but was scared as well . I wanted more anal play from her , but didn't know how to ask .
I started making friends online and did the cyber thing . Thankfully it was mostly women . My wife looked at it that I was cheating on her .My wife stated to get suspicious ,so she installed spyware on my laptop . She found the worst of the wors , evedrything. My profile referring myself as bi-curious, Dirty talk , pictures others sent me and pictures I sent . I'm talking dildo action and cum pics as well .
She was devestated of my intefnet relationships and shocked that I was bi-curious .
She said she didn't know me . I told her it was mostly because I liked anal masturbation and reminded of autofellio that I did when we were first together .
I regret not telling her of the way I felt earlier. Knowing each other brings you closer . You could get anal toys ,that she can use on you . Build on who you both are .

 

I feel for you. I also consider myself straight when it comes to relationships, but still enjoy some cock once in a while. I think you'd be surprised at how many of us there are...

If it were me, I'd be looking for a way to tell her where you're coming from, and what you need. There's no reason to feel bad about expressing a sexual need that's not being met. Its just good communication, and may keep this from becoming a real problem. I'd make sure she understands that you love her, that this doesn't mean that you're "gay", and that you're still committed to her. You might be surprised at her reaction. This forum is filled with guys who's wives/girlfriends really get off on watching their men with other men.

Maybe you could give her a measure of control over the situation... Let her arrange your guy-time, and be there to watch... Ask her to give you a blowjob lesson (sharing a cock with your wife can be SUPER hot!). Maybe ask her if there's some aspect of her sexuality that she would like to explore, and be supportive of it. Who knows? Instead of a relationship-crisis, this may turn out to be the beginning of a whole new sexual awakening between you!

It'll be scary to talk to her about for the first time, but from the sound of things, this wouldn't surprise her too much. My feeling is that life is short, and I want the people I care about to really know who I am. The more you keep from her, the less she'll know you. That's how my ex-wife and I were at the end. We couldn't talk about anything, and in the end we didn't really know each other anymore.

I don't know if all that rambling helped or not, but I feel for you.
PM me if you'd like to talk privately.

~Ian

 

^ a supportive trio