Should I Quit for My Mom?

Hello I was wondering if I could get your opinion on what I should do? Advice is always nice.
Well, like you, I love weed. I've never had to pay for it since so many of my friends, and even strangers, offer it for free everyday (city's full of stoners). I don't ever smoke by myself, I like it as another way to bond socially, and be out in nature with friends. Anyway, my mom found out and is very upset. Her dad died of drugs, she has never smoked once in her life and has been fed all of that crap about how weed will lead you to become a heroine addict, etc, etc. I promised her I wouldn't smoke until I'm out of the house, and really meant that because I hate hurting her and she does so much for me, but when I'm having fun with friends and it's offered, I can't remember why it's so "bad". Do you think I should listen to my mom and not smoke? Or be dishonest, which hurts me. Thanks so much!

 

Obviously don't smoke it while in her house, then.

I won't tell you to take drugs, especially because of your age, but as for when you're not home, I don't think that's her business, that's a choice you should make based on the reality of weed, and it's drawbacks and benefits.

Also, the whole thing with downplaying any potential risk from weed because you don't smoke alone is pathetic. Smoking alone is a different experience, and can be quite personally useful, and even psychedelic. Smoking with others often really sucks, actually. If you see smoking alone as a problem, then you should not be smoking at all.

 

the guilt will soon fade

 

You'll have many chances to smoke sometime in the future.... You only get one Mom.

 

I've never smoked at home. And I don't see smoking alone as a problem, but I THINK that for some it could be a bit harder to quit if you're used to smoking everyday instead of just smoking when someone offers But I believe you about how it can be a better experience sometimes. If I leave my friends early after getting high, and am alone, it is quite nice and peaceful without them getting mad at me for not talking that much.

&& Tyrsonswood, thank you! I was thinking that too. I'm going to try not to smoke all of Winter at least, but probably will in the summer I don't think she'd be as upset since I wouldn't be in school. Thanks for the replies!

 

If smoking weed is necessary for you to have a good time then you have a problem. Your friends will understand and respect your wish to hold off smoking if they are your friends.

 

You're going to TRY to not smoke? How are you making this sound hard? And why would anyone have a hard time quitting, smoking alone or with friends?

From whatcha say, yeah, you're smoking with people who are just.... bad at smoking.

And you don't sound like a great smoking friend either, never throwing. It feels nice to get others high, but it doesn't when they simply never buy pot but always smoke yours.....

 

Addictive personalities runs in the family. It's not difficult by myself, but whenI go to hangout with friends and they're all smoking and offer it can be a bit difficult to say no, I end up feeling left out. It's kind of all they do. && I know! I felt bad about never paying and always offer to pay, but they won't take the money, saying that because I pay them with my happy spirit. They're so kind and generous. Which is why I don't want to take some people's advice by "go hangout with a new group of friends!" I spend time with all sorts of people, but I don't want to stop hanging out with these friends, they're very wonderful in my eyes.

 

Then just don't hang out with people, it's easy, I do it all the time

 

But my mom just told me that as long as she doesn't know I'm smoking (aka: not getting caught by the police, or coming home high) then what she doesn't know won't hurt her. haha, it was kind of a subtle way of saying I can But I'm definitly going to cut back. Being sober is just as wonderful, if not more (in my opinion).

 

It's not her subtle way of saying that you can, it's her subtle way of testing you to see if you are untrustworthy and go against her wishes and do it without her knowledge...

 

Thanks for the perspective, I can see why you would think that. But if you knew my mom then I think you'd agree with me It's hard to explain, but after a lot of stuff that has happend, I think she has accepted that even though she is my mom, and I should definitly respect her, she does not own me, and she's told me that she realized by trying to keep me from doing thingsshe doesn't approve of, and trying to control me more and more, that it just pushes us farther apart. she's giving me the permission to have my own life, as long as i don't tell her about what i'm doing. hope i kind of explained well

 

It's easier to keep your mothers respect than it is to try to rebuild that relationship

 

^^^ THIS ^^^ :2thumbsup:

 

She owns you paid in full until you're 18, unless you fuck up bad, then the state owns you.

 

Yep, I've had to learn this the hard way already... Trying to re-gain your mom's respect is like trying to fly out of hell on a pogo made of ice.

 

people aren't owned so certainly don't listen to that rubbish. Any parent that considers their child property should probably not have had kids. And its true when parents try to be too controlling it can put a strain on the relationship and then the kid will just push back even harder.


Personally I am all for the what she does not know does not hurt her....especially if she even gave you permission to do that.

 

You can tell her that you don't smoke it , but there are a number of ways for her to know different. Smelling it on you is one of them.