Pressuring myself too much? Advice needed!

I am the male part of a man/woman couple that has recently started enjoying the swinging/exhibitionism scene.

I am very turned on by the idea of watching other people have sex, having them watch me have sex, and the free love that can happen in these erotically charged situations.

However, I have found myself having difficulty getting an erection in these group settings (absolutely no problems at home when we're alone), and the more I pressure myself to perform, the harder it is becoming to get it up.

I am only 40, and do not want to start resorting to viagra, but do not want to give up on this very exciting sexual adventure that I have started enjoying.

I have heard that male porn stars that re new to the industry can have trouble with this too.

Does anyone have any advice for me to get past this? I would be so grateful!! (and my GF would be too!)

 

I've had troubles with erection and control throughout my relationship.

Mostly control; but I can have erection problems when it comes to intercourse because it's hard to feel with the condom on, and even my body awareness gets limited by them, so I have trouble even telling how hard I am; the more I start to worry about it, the more I lose hardness or get so frustrated that I just wanna do something else.

You already know what you have to do. Stop worrying.

As far as finding a way to do this; Kegels help gain confidence, drugs help lower inhibition/worry in the right amounts, practice and good experiences help lower worry and raise confidence.
There are toys that help increase erection, cock rings, cock extenders, and cock um.. attachments? (I've got a great one for vaginal penetration that has a clit vibrator on it)
Relaxation exercises could possibly help, there are tons of them. These would be especially effective if you have high levels of anxiety in general.
A good one is to focus on your breathing and control your breathing, taking deep breaths with long exhales, so that your mind is in a more calm state. You can do this before, during, whatever works for you.

There are a lot of answers to this question; it's more about finding the right answer for you, and I can't help you with that.

 

I've had similar problems in the swinging-scene, and I agree with Duck. Those are all good ideas, and you just need to keep trying and figure out what works for you. For me, it turned out to be mostly about relaxation. Drink some wine. Smoke a bowl. Whatever you need to do to relax and take the pressure off. Your genitals will know what to do when the time comes, I promise.

 

0i've no advice.. i just wanted to write a sentence that is longer than your flaccid penis.D
0

 

yeah, like everyone is saying it's a mental thing, it always is and you'll have to just relax and give it a bit of time. I've enjoyed swinging very much with all the atmosphere that goes with it and can appreciate it can maybe quite a new dimension that you might need time to get used to.

Maybe you could give yourself a couple of celibate visits, go with your partner but you just watch from a distance and relax and enjoy a dirnk, bowl, atmosphere.

Go the third time and I bet you can get it up then

Simon :sunny:

 

My flaccid penis? Geez man! I don't know how big your monitor is, but that's bigger than my erect penis! Ask your mom, she'll confirm it! imp:

 

Maybe you don't like women? That doesn't mean you're gay, just that you don't like women enough to want sex with them. Especially strange (!) women, as you could get a disease, or they follow you home and kill your pet rabbit.

Ask any married man, and he will explain it to you.