I'm lonely...

One of the best ways is to be persecuted for years. After a while you tend to start convincing yourself that you're not as bad as people say you are. It changes your negative thought patterns. But it takes a long time.

I realize that answer sounds facetious, but it's really not. However it involves spiritual intervention...it's a long story. Without that, the best you can do is to just try to catch yourself telling yourself hurtful things, and make an effort to tell yourself positive things instead. It ain't easy, and it doesn't cure you overnight.

 

:grouphug:

 

There is a certain loneliness that has nothing to do with the number of people around oneself. It is a loneliness based on;

1. a feeling that no one really 'gets' me or understands me or is interested in the things I am interested in.

2. a feeling that no one is genuine or really cares and even when people say they care or understand they really don't.

3. a feeling that other people like me superficially and the more of the real me they get to know the less they seem to want to be around me.

 

Somebody to Love is a quest I too share in.
It can indeed be a lonely place behind the self-imposed barriers that we put up to protect ourselves from being hurt. (/again)
One has to take comfort in the knowledge that there will be a soul-mate somewhere out there -in the real (or if need be - the cyber world) that one can relate to and build up a relationship to attain some kind of solace.
Keep the faith - and believe = "Love, will find a way"

 

Break down the wall.

You have built a great wall, the wall was built to protect you from harm. You have experienced attacks from enemies, and to protect yourself you have built a wall. The more the enemies attacked the stronger, more secure, you have made the wall each time you recover. Each time the wall is damaged you build a stronger one. Eventually you fortify this wall with battlements and towers, catapults, artillery, weapons.



You keep enemies from even approaching the wall. But before you know it, you can't get out. The wall is to secure, to strong, it becomes a prison. The wall that protected you now limits you. You must break down the wall. The more pain you experienced, the stronger this wall will be, and the stronger this wall is, the longer it will take to break it down, and the more painful it will be. It will not be easy, you will feel vulnerable, you will be open to attack, and your enemies will attack when they see you vulnerable... But you must NOT rebuild the wall, you must break IT DOWN.
You must open yourself up to the pain, accept it, work through it, and HEAL. It will take a long time, but it is possible. Then, when you break open the wall, you will HEAL and RADIATE YOUR BRILLIANCE!

 

I'm probably the loneliest person you'd ever meet, so yeah. I know where you're coming from. :/

 

Bet I've been doing it longer......

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

yeah, so it could be that you need to feel comfortable with connecting to people on a deeper level

you could try connecting with one of your friends that way

if you can't do that, maybe talk to a therapist and lay out all of your warts to the therapist

what kind of warts are we talking about?

if it's sharing about painful experiences in your past, then I think it's mainly a question of learning about intimacy

if the wart is that you like to throw things and scream in people's faces, then it might be better to try to focus on getting rid of the wart

 

See.... they're talking about me again.

 

^
no! no! they want you to join the group hug!

 

I know exactly what you mean ..... i was the same way .... could be in a crowed room and still feel like you were compleatly alone .... nothing is worse than that ..... and i thought that i would never find anyone that would treat me good and love me for me ..... till last January i found the perfect guy ..... now we have been living together since like two months in and i can't imagine not having him around ..... i am sure there is that guy out there for you too ..... i know it don't seem like it .... ppl used to tell me that all the time too and i just brushed it off thinking that they didn't know what they were talking about ..... but then it happened and shocked me .... the only thing that kept me sane as long as it did tho was my friends and Family ..... i know they dont fill that hole but they can make it bareable ..... and if you ever need someone to talk to don't be afraid me message me any time

 

I'm glad you found happiness and love Sierra Angel

 

If it helps i accept you

 

Thanks

 

You know, it is VERY ironic that the cities, where the most people are, are the loneliest places. I had more friends, lovers, enlightening experiences and exciting adventures in a remote town of 1000 people, than in the whole of Vancouver's 2.5 million. Change something up in your life? If you do the same thing over, you'll always get the same result, change is hard, but its a good thing.

 

I am lonely too for me its a matter of social inequality. People think they are too cool for me and making friends is difficult because I live in a 4 digit town... Word gets around fast in small communities.

Now here is a trick, make sure you don't hesitate

Type the first thing that comes to mind when I ask you, Why are you lonely? What do you want?

For me, I just want people to talk to. Just to be around, I crave attention and love. I get both from my family but having such a little amount of friends hurts. I also tend to keep things bottled inside and all of my friends are to solid to open up. So on top of what I said, I want someone to talk to.

 

May u all find love I will settle for a big fat cock

 

I think my problem is that I change too often...I move around a lot.

As for what I want...I just want a friend who is also a lover.

 

have you read the unbearable lightness of being?

the title describes a point. where a person has been living a too aloof life for too long and it becomes unbearable, that light style of living and they need to find ground.

Love is in someone who accepts warts and all.
All lovers are friends, otherwise they are just flings/sex partners/outlets.

Do you follow your passions? are you passionate about something? (anything even bird-watching) Do you like your job?

I have been horrible and egotistical, and I changed and carried my baggage and tossed it and have found a wonderful person. My warts are mountains that ooze and stink. My first love I broke her and us. this second love I am smarter I know why I am, and I won't settle I know our relationship needs two people who care about themselves and won't allow our love to comprise what makes us comfortable.

there is hope, beacon. and while you're waiting they're people listening. I was just reading around and you described yourself as overweight, I hope things are different in your thirties but people are really shallow; especially to women really unfairly so, but with that in mind I used a diet called HCG and it really worked, lol isn't it disgusting that 30 pounds can be the difference between being able to meet someone who will be willing to see past the outside and learn to love the person on the inside. (I was obese in high school and when I was able to bring myself down to overweight they saw me as partner material) Of course diet alone won't work, that diet has to come with a change up on the inside, of reaffirming that you are worthwhile; and the partners you're looking for are real people. diet is really important if you are only attracted to attractive people like I am, so I got a little more attractive reassess my personal worth followed my passion and BAM i started entering the hectic and inconsistent fray of dating. I know how shallow people are because I am shallow, I am shallow just as all those other people are. All those people who denied treating other as full citizens as people worthy to take out dinner all because of thirty pounds, it's so disgusting I can only laugh out loud.