Why do men have affairs? Because they love their wives

For anyone who has either fallen in love with a married man, or seen their husband sneak off into the night to be with another women that question is begging for an answer... why do men have affairs?

In his new book, Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating Professor Eric Anderson interviewed young men still at college and asked, why do you seek sex outside your relationship. Most of us would guess that the answer is simply 'sex' and while that is basically the answer, his analysis is far more complex.

For the first three months of a new relationship there is a storm of sex, lust, love, sex. After that sex slowly fades away. Anderson highlights 5 different stages to get to the decision to have an affair, 1: the lust, 2: the attempts by men to reinvigorate the sexual relationship, 3: there is a relentless urge to have sex with others, 4: there is a growing resentment of their partner, 5: the choice is made to separate or find a new playmate.

It is the 6th phase that tells a whole new story as most men choose to play, but will remain with their wife/partner, why, because they still are in love them.

It's opened up that age old question, if 78% of men, and 70% of women have affairs should we still hold up monogamy as a social and cultural norm?

 

As long as people are prepared to make a commitment to one other person monogamy will reign. I hate this "staying with a partner because you love them" crap.You want to shag other people? Fine! But do it as a person with no emotional baggage. It is never, ever fair on the "loved" one at home, be it male or female! I for one, if felt attracted enough to someone other than my partner that I wanted to shag them, would be looking at what was going on in the relationship I was already in!

 

Explain to me, how that`s mathematically feasible.

Why do men have affairs? is an oxymoron if you just think a little. A better question would be, Why are women so hypocritical about having affairs? An even better question would be, Why do men want women to be hypocritical about affairs and why do women obey them? And yet another question would be, Why do women want men to have affairs so they can be hypocritical about them?

 

What is it with the stupid act of having to blame the guys for everything

Or trying to call it "falling in love" when you are talking about spending a couple months sneaking off to hotel rooms or whatever with some married guy you dont know at all, only really to feed the angry beaver

Why do Men have affairs? Why are there so many women that cant keep their legs closed?


Especially if you arent interested in the first place, its totally fucked. Have to listen to them in front of their friends and husbands crap on about commitment and trust and honesty blah blah blah, then in another situations where the hubby or friends arent around getting angry at you cos you wont touch them. And it just seems to get worse and worse as you get older

 

Especially for men who are taken!

 

Why hold up norms at all? It's not like any of the alternatives are harmful to anyone, which would be an example of a norm which perhaps should be held up.