Do you believe in "the one"?

Do you believe there exists such a thing as "the one"?
I don't mean the perfect girl or the perfect guy, I mean the girl or guy who is perfect for you.

I believe that either such a person does not exist or there exist several people who could be considered to be "the one". Either way, I'm afraid that I will never meet "the one" for me. She either doesn't exist or she is so rare that I won't find her.

I don't care so much about looks. I don't care if she's blond, brunette, redhead, caucasian, black, asian, or whatever. As long as she's not anorexic or obese or more than 10 years older than me. (More than 4 years younger than me would be considered pedophilia, so no thanks.)

However, what I'm really asking for is a girl that thinks like me, but also challenges me. A girl that holds the same basic values as I do, but might come to different conclusions because she thought of something that I missed. (This is because it's hard to have deep conversations if you agree about everything. It's nice to disagree about stuff and then learn from one-another) A girl that can look beyond all the evil in the world and see what great potential for love it has, just like I see it. A girl that hasn't given up hope and wants to try to save the world with me.

However, I've never met a single person that is so passionate about saving the world as I am. Most people I know think humans are inherently lazy selfish perverts and if there were no laws everybody would steal stuff and go rape little girls. I believe that people are inherently loving creatures, but they sometimes do stupid stuff because they are weak or they are damaged people. I do not believe in evil people. In my opinion Hitler wasn't evil, he was badly damaged. And corrupt politicians aren't evil, they are weak.

I'm scared that I will never find a girl who thinks like I do. So I will either die alone or I will marry and get divorced several times and eventually die being married to a woman who isn't really the one for me.

 

Yes.

Look at people who marry in their teens and are inseparable until they die.

It is possible, whether or not you meet the person is up to chance.

I'm with someone right now who has a lot of similarities to me - music tastes, hobbies, values and ethics. Time will tell though if we can tolerate each others quirks enough to make it longterm. Out of all the people Ive met so far, he cuts it as the best match for me yet, by a country mile.

Life is a journey, not a destination.

** Sent from my phone using Tapatalk :]

 

I think the potential exists for one special person to become the one for you, but time and effort are required to bring it about. Having plenty of common experiences improves the quality of a relationship, and keeps it strong.

Everybody grows and changes and evolves over time, but if two people respond to things in a similar way, they can grow and change together. That's why I'm skeptical of love at first sight. You may be in the same emotional place right now, but headed in opposite directions. You can't figure that out in a day or a week. As much fun as that initial rush can be, it can't compare to the value of a mature relationship that has been carefully and lovingly built by two people who are in it for the long term.

But...maybe you need to meet some people who are truly evil before you are ready to meet the one who will be the best person in your eyes. Everybody has good and evil in them, but the mix can be incredibly out of balance. It is good to see people as they really are, not as we want them to be or the way that we fear they might be.

 

The only people who I might consider to be truly evil are sociopaths/psychopaths. But even those people I just see as brain-damaged people who can't help what they are.
However, other than sociopaths/psychopaths it is extremely unhelpful to use the term evil. Because "evil" suggests there is nothing we can do, so we give up before we even tried. You can try to fix a damaged person, you can try to help a weak person, but an evil person is just a lost case, so why bother? Seeing people as being evil removes all hope for a better world and I refuse to think like that.

 

Everybody can be a little bit better person today than they were yesterday. Or they can be worse. They have a choice.

You're not going to save the world, but you can definitely be someone who does a lot more good than harm. Everybody should aspire to that goal. The world is too big to fix, but you can work on your little part of it every day. Change is hard! Anything you can accomplish is better than nothing.

If your goals are too big, you can become bitterly disappointed. And...honestly, most people you will meet are not going to care what you think should be changed to make the world a better place. They have their own ideas. Who knows? Maybe some of them will be right, and you can learn something from them.

What I think you have are pure motives and intentions. That's the kind of person you need to be with. They are not impossible to find. You just have to be patient.

 

I agree, except for psychopaths, because you can only change if you WANT to change and psychopaths do not want to become better people because they don't care about other people. They can't help it, they just haven't developed that part of the brain that is needed for empathy.

This makes me think of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRNqoqFzTi0

That may be true, but in the end we all have the same goal (create a society in which everybody can be free and happy). And I believe it is possible to objectively find a way to get there. Maybe I have the correct answer, probably I don't. So it doesn't matter that people have different ideas about how to make the world a better place. We all just have to collaborate, bring our ideas in the open and let them be scrutinized (by science, not by opinions) and eventually the best idea(s) will come forward.

I hope you are right.

 

You have a lot to learn. Trust me, there are a lot of people out there who are only interested in seeing freedom and happiness come to themselves, and maybe to a small number of friends and family. I could tell you some stories...

 

If you mean that they have no motivation to put effort into making the world a better place then I say: that's fine. I don't mind if 90% of human kind only go for their own happiness, as long as they don't hurt others in the process.
We only need about 10% of the world's population to make the world a better place, if we collaborate.

On the other hand, if you mean that they are not only not-motivated to make the world a happier place but that they would even LIKE to see other people be miserable then I say: those people are probably damaged people. They probably either do not have the capacity to feel empathy or they just hate society because society has been mean to them. Either way, there is no reason to judge them.

 

to me at least, the perfect partner is a combination of three things

- a person who as similar interests / personality type
- a person who you don't really need to 'get to know' - on a human level.
- a person you are attracted to

sometimes you meet people you can form instant connections with - it's not a complete oddity either.

so i believe there are, potentially

a number of 'the ones' for each of us.

 

i skipped the whole good vs evil discussion... anyway, no, there is no "the one."

 

to quote a comedian whose name I'll never remember, "If there was such as a thing as 'the one', guy's penis' would be shaped like keys."

 

The only thing you need to make a marriage last forever is commitment. I have been married 21 years, which is forever in today's world.

In your world, you are setting some pretty stringent demands on "the one". You expect her world view to be the same as yours. In reality, that will most likely never happen. If you were able to accept a person as they are, instead of making these excessive demands on them, you could become committed to a person and be with them for life. The trick is to find someone you like or admire and they like or admire you and then the two of you commit to each other. This has a little bit to do with the way they look, their sense of humor, their tastes and expectations, etc. You won't be committed to someone who you totally disagree with, but you can become committed to soemone you like.

Commitment means staying with them no matter what; if they have sex with your best friend (against your wishes), you get counseling and forgive them. No matter what they do, you forgive them and move on. You are committed to them.

Where does love come in? Well, in a committed relationship where the person knows they will not be punished for whatever they end up doing, love is free to blossom. Being totally committed to each other no matter what is the foundation that true love is built upon.

This can apply in an abusive relationship. If you are able to get help for the abusive partner and change their ways, they can become committed to you. The problem is that you are committed to them, but oftentimes they are not committed to you and have no moral convictions against hurting you. If you can't change their ways, you must get out. A loving relationship only works where two people are committed to each other.

I say all this to tell you there is no one person that is just right for you. There are likely millions of people whom you could find that you are intersted in and find likable that you could become totally committed to, and then they would become the one.

 

There is no such thing. Yes, there are people that one will find him/herself more compatible with, but there is no "the one". Relationships take work, compromise, balance, tolerance, humility, and patience. You can aspire to a "perfect relationship", but there is no such thing as "the one". I know some very unhappy people, many of them married, who made the mistake of buying into this harmful belief. Don't try to change someone into "the one" either - it's an exercise in vanity and futility. People are the way they are for a reason - for better or worse. The best you can hope to do is expose them to new thoughts and experiences.

 

Relationships/Marriages are work, it's a team thing.


Now is it possible to find true love and good sex with the same person, I believe so yes.

But it will not fall in your lap you will have to work for it make comprmises, it may hurt you at times.

But if you do and you can make it work, it is the best.:love:

 

I dunno about "the one", but I think there is a compatible partner out there for everyone. For some people, there are many people who could be a compatible partner for them, and therefore these people have a very high chance of finding love and companionship. For others, there is hardly any compatible partners around for them, and therefore the chance of finding true love and companionship is very low.

 

Commitment and unconditional love are key. It is possible to love someone other than your family unconditionally.

 

I believe there could be more than one "the one". the truth is, people can compliment you in many different ways. Sometimes it depends on what you need at that certain point in your life. I don't imagine that a person who is 15 would look for the same type of person they would look for when they are 25. and if you're still single when you're 40 or so.. you might find that you need different things. When a person finds love and stays with that person, they evolve together and become similar to their partners in a lot of ways. you either grow together or apart and that's not really true love then.

 

I do feel there is someone out there for everyone...that one person....but i also know how people grow and change over time and having someone who is willing to grow and has some of the same desires as you do is a huge bonus....I personally have changed my outlooks on life (i think everyone does) and my girl has also matured with me...

IM not to sure i could ever find a better match than her...Now the question is can she find a better match than me??

 

I do! One day I will find the chosen one the one who's dick shall quench my thirst for cock

 

No. I don't believe in the "one". I think that there are hundreds of people who would be extremely compatible with me. I think that the 2 I married were really great matches for me. My current wife fits me like a glove and we understand each other. I think that there are a lot of people who can be a life long mate/partner. It is finding them that is the hard part.