Want my bf to MAN UP (yeah, gender roles are stupid)

atleast it did some good for somebody

 

Give it a chance. Your opening post for this thread is the first time many of us read anything by you, and much of your humor didn't come across well in text - my farewell to you was also meant to be funny, but surely now you can see how jokes can be taken the wrong way on a message board.

 

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Actually most are being honest... which is really a type of respect. You're expecting other than people exercising their own rights to free speech? What you have chosen to "vent" about is a classic set of mixed signals that drive people nuts. I sense that you felt entitled to responses telling you how right you are and what an insensitive, spineless cad your mollusk of a bf is for not magically anticipating your desire to revert to delicate princess mode when life becomes uncomfortable and the concept of equality is inconvenient.

I'm guessing that you wouldn't have recast this as a satirical joke had the people pleasing replies gushed forth saying how right you are. Such replies do you no good because they enable you to continue to send mixed messages- whether you come out and say something or whether it's reflected in your body language and "huge sigh" signifying your exasperation with not getting what you want.

Call it a joke-- it won't change what it appears to be. I have compassion for you. People around you might not think as highly of you as you imagine but could be afraid of hurting your feelings. I have no way of knowing except in how this discussion unfolded and how you bobbed and weaved with your topic and the manner in which your defenses went up in response to criticism.

People who have pissed me off and bruised my ego in the past ended up being the ones doing me the biggest favors.

 

this isnt the wearing panties thread I thought it would be..

 

Hahahaha

 

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Some gender roles are a societal construct. Some are inborn. You can be a feminist or think of yourself as a feminist and still be attracted to masculinity. Its just a primal thing.

I consider myself a strong independent woman. But I totally get the lumberjack thing. Is it contradictory? Maybe. But attraction isn't exactly an intellectual thing. It is primal and instinctual.

 

I think most men lose that early stage.... how masculine are you? hehe kinda get when you say there........... with my past relationship I was more of the pants wearing with us... he was more feminine than I was hahaha.... but toned down a bit as I know the men like eto stay men. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to hint around randomly and say how you appreciated the times when he was there for you?
goodluck

 

sounds more like it fulfills this part of you that wants your ass kissed

 

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If the hating somehow empowers you then I suppose there's a purpose to it. To be honest, something posted on the web doesn't merit the energy necessary to generate hate. I was just being as forthcoming as possible and I'd wager that most others in this discussion have been as well.

 

Yeah I guess so. I wasn't talking about you specifically. This was just a really bad first thread! Oh well.

 

Forget Feminism, you havent yet mentioned what its really about.

If he does indeed, "Man Up" then more girls are going to find him more exciting, which is contrary to the whole reason you hooked up with such a wuss in the first place


Him Manning Up is the last thing you want, you'll just get dumped. You have to fatten him up so he doesnt look any good to the other girls, nag him till he's catatonic so he cant even communicate with the other girls, constantly put him down till he's totally insecure and unable to survive with out you, spend all his money so he cant afford another girlfriend, and only put out once a month so he never actually learns how to use it.....oh, and almost forgot the most important one, communication, whatever its about just keep talking, regardless of how trivial or insignificant, just keep talking, about the curtain rods, which bus you took to get to the doctors, how rude the nurse was, how cheap crayfish was at the market, how upset that made you feel, just keep talking, sharing is caring

 

Fixed

 

And especially how much ice was on that darn windshield .... :2thumbsup:

 

Chivalry is dead.

 

So wait, you expect him to scrape the ice off your car because you're a chick? Get a grip. The way you describe your relationship now ("just kind of friends, two souls hanging out") sounds like an ideal relationship. What you're doing now is stamping your feet and demanding more because of your gender, and it's embarrassing.

He did that stuff when you first started dating? That would have been an example of human courtship. He was trying to win your affections. You will have been doing the same for him...you know, like all those "I like you, I'm an attractive young thing and I'm available" signals you were putting out. This phase will not last indefinitely. It's obvious why.

If a couple comes out of that phase still in love and still best friends, they've done it. Unless one side starts stepping out of line, like when a chick gets all whiny about nothing...

 

I am woman hear me roar except if it makes me cold