My fiancé thinks I'm bisexual !! Am I?

I'm not really sure how to say this exactly but here it goes... I'm a sex addict! Or at least I was. I used to search for the dirtiest porn and screw just about anyone.. A few years ago, up til about 6 months ago, I would also let men suck me off or ride my penis. Only one of the about 10 guys rode me. These men would pay me anywhere from $40 to $300.. One even bought me a cheap car. I was struggling with money and this was a very easy way for me to get cash. It happened for about 3 years with the same 8 men multiple times. I'm not attracted to men what so ever and I wouldn't say for one second that I was ever remotely turned on in any way while I was with them. I would watch straight porn while these guys were doing things to me. 6 months ago I met the woman of my dreams and about a month into our relationship, she found all this out.. I tried to explain to her that it was just for the money but she doesn't understand. She's very concerned that I'm attracted to men and that I may be bisexual. I tried to tell her I'm not at all!! I love the vagina!! A lot!! She continues to call me a faggot whenever we get in any type of an argument. Is there any advice anyone has to help me through this situation? I don't ever think about these things I did because now it really grosses me out. I understand how it's very wrong to do what I did and I wish ohad never done it!! Ask me more questions about it as you may need more details to help me out with answers! Thanks!!

 

The only person who can decide your sexuality is you.. it doesn't matter how much porn you watch. If you are sexually attracted to both genders, the simpliest answer is, yes, then you're bisexual, but sexuality is so complex. But, whether you're straight, bi, gay, doesn't matter, you're still you, and if you decide that hey, I might be bisexual, and your wife can't accept the fact that what is in the past is in the past and bisexual or not you're in a committed relationship with her and its causing trust issues, whether you explained to her that you seriously regret it or not, then perhaps you married the wrong person.

 

so what if you are? your sexuality isn't as cut and dry as some people, and that's good for you. your fiance sounds like a fucking prude among other things and i would drop that bitch like a hot potato.

 

you don't sound bisexual based on what you say here.

your girlfriend must be a pretty huge homophobe if she is more upset about you being maybe bisexual than the fact that you're a straight person who whored himself out to men.

 

Your a bisexual whore. At least now she doesn't need to get creative during dirty talk!

 

She may be your GF but that doesn't mean that she has the right to the details of your past personal life. Sometimes you're better off not telling her everything.

 

Ew she is not someone I'd get involved with to throw low blows like that at u. U can't tell me u didn't get off on that man sex we both know u did ur bisexual

 

Well we fell in love with eachother and I kept this secret past of mine from her so I can't blame her for being upset in the sense that I lied to her. She had found messages in my Facebook inbox and It went from there. I still tried denying after that even to save me from the embarrassment. I wouldn't say I'm starting to dislike myself for what I've done, I'm just not proud of it and didnt want anyone to k ow so it could be forgotten and never brougt up. I would never leave her because I'm so madly in love with her. I really want her to just believe me and understand that I'm not in any way attracted to men. I think once she realizes that then she won't hold it against me so much. Her calling me names definitely needs to stop because for some reason the name calling really hits me and makes me so upset. I've seen a therapist regarding this matter and he wasn't much help. He basically said that well he is marrying a woman so he seems straight to me. I'm not sure if he helped her or not. We went together. I am straight for sure! I know that!! I just want her to know that! I guess that's what I'm trying to get out of this whole thing. I want multiple people to say that even though the things I did in the past were homosexual acts doesn't make me a homo or a bisexual. I mean what do you think after hearing this? I'm saying to you I just did that for the money and didn't enjoy these sexual acts even though they happened on a weekly basis. I enjoyed hanging out with these individuals most of the time when there was no sexual activity going on. I didn't find them attractive at all. I was basically using them but in the process a friendly relationship was built outside of the sexual aspect of it. And another thing, do you feel these guys took advantage of my situation. They see a desperate, good looking young man that needs help and is vey vulnerable so they offered me money and things in exchange for my body. Should I have ever even called these people my friends? Sorry for the scattered writing, my mind likes to jump around and works faster than in should. Haha thanks for talking with me

 

Well another main concern of hers is that prior to her I had a gf I loved and was going to marry and cheated on her throughout the ENTIRE relationship with men and she feels that it could happen to her as well. She is madly in live with me as well and we are engaged and she just does not want to get that done to her which is a pretty legitimate concern among other things in which consists of these men still trying to contact me to this day and try to convince me to cheat on her with them and she is right there when I get the texts, emails, etc.... It is just tearing her apart and she is just so confused and hurt and this is all very out of left field to her. She is very open sexually and is very wise but this just boggles her and hurts her very deep because she feels disrespected to the utter most by these men. Also, in the beginning to our relationship before she found out, I was still in contact with them about meeting up and doing things sexually with them in detail and times and place eyc. So she also feels that if she never found out on her own then I would be cheating on her and never stopped my ways for money like I did with my prior two year relationship. I tell her I won't and it grosses me out but I also said said I loved my ex and and would never cheat on her but I guess I didn't love her like I love my fiancé now but that is yet another reason she is so infuriated.is it a normal thing for straight men to do this for three years and then just stop and never have been bi and not now. Are there more men on a normal scale that are like me and done this as well?

 

So she snoops...She hasn`t gotten the basic idea of marriage and neither have you.

Why not just be boyfriend and girlfriend and indulge in a whole lot of jealousy drama? You don`t need a contract and a public ceremony for that.

I`m with Bill Maher's New Rulez on the Kim Kardashian thing: if you`re going to spend $$$$ on a ceremony; bore, and inconvenience the heck out of everybody with a legal contract, then you can`t divorce.

The most important thing about marriage is not happiness, but that you don`t divorce. My grandparents were married 60 years, were happy maybe 3 of those years. But they didn`t divorce. They both died with a wedding band squeezing their ring fingers.

That`s my model for marriage. I`m for making divorce and prenups illegal, then we`ll see who the real love birds are.

 

She's obviously jealous; when was the last time she had 8 guys banging her?

Not good gf material, in my opinion, and potentially disastrous if you think it's love. Run, don't walk away.

 

Dude, don't hide how you really feel. Are you or aren't you a bi? Best way to find out is get a guy and you and yours go down on him. If you an do it for money, you can do it for love, right?

 

I don't know mabe I'm reading this wrong...but I'm not so sure the real issue is whether your bisexual or not. I can understand that being a concern of hers but is that the real or main issue? Women many times will avoid saying the obvious because they think we should just know. They do'nt think they have to say it. Some major red flags I see from what you've said are loss of respect, honesty and trust. All of these in my opinion are key factors for a sucessful relationship. Not being able to accept you for who you are, might be the real issue. She is looking at your past track record which is a pretty normal thing to do. For you to say well yeah that was the old me...but now, this is the new me...can only be proven over time by your daily actions.

There aint no-right there aint no-wrong. There's only pleasure and pain. (Janes Addiction)
Only works with hookers....

 

Gay For pay

 

Are you saying that me and my fiancé have a threesome with a guy to figure it out? How do you think that would pan out/ work to has this issue out?

 

Have you experienced this stuff before?

 

Have you ever sucked a cock ?

 

From what I learned from psychology class, when we were studying the social-sexual identity unit. It's apparently quite common for guys even as old as 17 to not have identified under a particular sexual orientation.

I don't know how old you are, but I think your girlfriend needs to get over this, as long as you have indeed stopped seeing other people for sex acts and remain loyal to her.

I suggest both of you go to relationship therapy and the deeper issues of trust, and respect sorted out. There's going to be plenty more fights and disagreements in a long term relationship, and if she keeps rehashing 'faggot' as a way of getting back at you I have trouble seeing how you two are going to work out long term.

 

Well said. I agree

 

I am 27 years old. Thank you and yes we have gone once and it did not help much obviously due to only going once and lack of funds to continue going.