Would it be stupid to try it again?

So, starting about a year ago I got into HBWS. I LOVED them. The first time was the best--I was fucking talking to God and everything, and had a lot of personal revelations that helped me overcome some anxiety (and that was only on 3 seeds!)

After that, I kept taking it every couple of weeks, and for the most part each time was enjoyable. Sometimes I fell asleep through most of it, but it was never a terrible experience. I would get pretty bad nausea that would only last about an hour, and then after I'd dry heave a few times (I always took them on an empty stomach) I'd feel amazing--I would even get the munchies! And it made the nausea worth it.

Well, eventually I ran out of seeds and decided I needed to take a break anyway, since it was becoming more recreational than spiritual, and I try to reserve psychedelics for spiritual purposes. A few months ago, after an 8 month hiatus, I ordered some more seeds from the same source as the other batch. I took 6 of them (I've taken more and been fine). The problem started because since they do cause horrible nausea, the minute I put them close to my mouth after grinding them up I start gagging. It's mostly psychological, but at any rate, I couldn't take them.

So I tried parachuting, and holy shit, I'm either the biggest idiot in the world and did it wrong, or whoever designed that technique has an iron stomach....I couldn't swallow the paper and I gagged and the whole thing fell apart.

Not to be deterred, I got some yogurt and put a little bit of the seeds on every bite, until I had eaten most of what I had left. Starting about the 2 hour mark, the nausea started, which I was expecting, but this time it NEVER went away, and I NEVER got any euphoria. I was just curled up between my bed and the bathroom in agony for 6 hours. And it was the angry nausea where your stomach feels like it's going through a meat grinder...

So now, I've got like 45 seeds left, and have a few days off coming up, and I'm wondering if I should bother trying again. I just don't know if the seeds themselves were bad or if it was the trauma of ingesting them that made it so bad. Could it be because I took them with yogurt instead of on an empty stomach? (I didn't have anything else to eat). And since I'm certainly not going to be parachuting again, and I don't have any gel caps, I'm wondering if there's another way of taking them that doesn't involve tasting them (I've tried it with juice, it's still bad). I've also got some non-drowsy dramamine I could take with it to prevent some of the nausea. And I may look into getting gel caps, I'm just hoping I could get them at a store instead of waiting for them to ship online. And do you really need one of those thing-a-ma-jigs to put them together or is it pretty easy to do it by hand?

I don't have access to any other psychedelic right now, so this is kind of my only option. Just trying to figure out if it would be worth it...

 

! I ate 8 HBWS and had no effects except horrible stomach aches. Probably a bad vendor or something.