so what's the problem? if you are giving this person even the slightest window of opportunity surely this means you would like things to work out. i would usually suggest dumping a cheater but since you're not going to anyways i recommend you should stop evading the relationship and work on building it once more. and by that i mean from it's grass root stages not just trying to go back to where you left off.
Sorry to say but I think once a cheater always a cheater! Its over. If you do let her back in your life you won't stop thinking about what happened and you will never have true trust in her again. Best of luck to ya!
I don't agree with once a cheater always a cheater sometimes it is just a one time thing and I get that it's a moment of weeknes but what the truth of it is, it's a selfish act done by a self serving personality so while it may not be another sexual affair a person who has cheated has proven themselves to not be a team player. To marry this person would be sentencing urself to a lifetime of serving their needs and having ur own needs met only when they pose a possible gain for them. So now it's up to you what kind of life do u want for yourself
Can I just say that every time I see this thread I think of that song where that girl says "he love when my jeans look painted on" I dunno why but I've been giggling to my self about this since the thread started.
IMO, having "been there done that" thus having experience with this shit- dump her like a hot rock. She's not worth it.
I really appreciate everyone's input in this. Good or bad, you guys gave me a lot to think about. It's been two weeks since I've heard the news and the only thing that I want to do now is wait till she gets back, look her in the eyes and have a good talk with her. My decision has been made. I'm not going to live a life with a woman who does not show the same affection and the same love. Who only shows me that she loves me when she's about to lose me. Really guys, I appreciate it.
Pentum let me drop this concept on you. The only way longterm (and I mean 10+ years) relationships work where BOTH parties are happy in them is when BOTH of the people in the relationship are selfless personality types. The reason most marriages end in divorce? Because most human beings are too selfish to sustain one. You need to recognize that there's an unknown female out there who's as selfless as you are and she's waiting for you to come find her and carry out your destiny. It's not abnormal to have difficulty cutting ties with a current partner due to cheating or etc... we're compassionate beings and regardless of the act of cheating i'm sure you still care for her.... BUT caring for her is not exclusive to being her boyfriend/husband/partner.... IT SIMPLY IS NOT. When we are young we go back in - we try to make the relatinship we know deep down won't work...work. It's not until you see the same result a couple times over before it really sinks in and then from that point forward in any new relationships you ahve a much better idea of when to scram.
I realize that, everything that every single person has commented on this thread. Cheating again? I lost my trust - each time she goes out, I think she's doing it again. I'll feel better after I'll dump her and get a bit of time off? I will and I know that. Lots of fish in the sea? I've turned down more girls during this relationship than I have during the rest of my life. Yes, there's plenty of fish in the sea. The only thing that I'm lacking is a pair of balls that would make me 100% sure of my upcoming actions.
it would be the last time, till the time after that. And then one more last time after that...followed by another. I was in an EXTREEMLY similar situation last year. All I wanted to do was give, and all she wanted to do is take. I put up with way too much shit, and with every inch I gave....I lost a little self respect. I was going against some of my basic principles, because at the time I thought it was worth it to be with her. But as time went on I began to lose sight of who I really am. BAD DEAL. I became unhappy with myself.....and you can't make anyone else happy un less you are happy with yourself. It's a downward spiral man, don't get sucked in. Luckily I carry a zero tolerance policy on cheating, and I was strong enough to follow through with that. It was the last straw.... Out of curiosity: She wouldn't happen to be an Italian chick from the east coast, would she?
I wanted to post the G.love cover, but there were only crappy cellphone videos...... This song helped me out a lot, maybe it will you too..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5--Sje98jI&feature=youtube_gdata_player"]4 Paul Simon BBC TV (50 Ways To Leave Your Lover) - YouTube
The best advice on this would not be to follow your heart, Youse your head, Get rid of the chick. If she loved you she wouldn't have slept with some one else, Distance may take its toll but if its real love she would have never compromised it. It obvious you love her more than she love's you and the crying and the confession Is because she wants to feel better and it helps her with the guilt, Trust is the most important thing you will never forget that this happened, Love hurts but you will only be putting a band aid on your heart if you go back, Save your self you seem like a caring guy, Also how old are the both of you?
Does sound exactly the same. More or less. No, she's not Italian. 2000km's away from Italy. @White dove, we're both 21. Every single person here has made their point quite clear and every single opinion is backed up by simple logic. Even I know that I should dump her. Now how do I finish building this brick wall around that love that I used to feel for her? It's already started.
