I need tips for a simple social situation. (I have social phobia)

I'm scared when I enter this social situation. I don't know how to deal with it. Let's say you are going to a gathering of some sort. You walk into the house, and there are 5 people right there at the table talking, how do you initially greet them? What do you say? And who do you look at? I know that I can say something like "hey guys, or what's up guys?", but I don't know who to look at when I say it, because there's so many people. It would be weird if I just looked at all of them individually one after the other. What are the many ways you deal with this scenario?

Also, I'm scared of silence in a conversation. I know I shouldn't be getting anxious over this, because I know a lot of people don't always have things to talk about. But, is it weird if your eating with the person and you are just silent? Or what about if you guys take a ride to get something to eat. Lets say you guys exchange a couple words and are just silent for most of the ride? Is that weird? Do you feel comfortable in that situation? Is it normal?

I'm definitely gonna work on developing my ideas on different topics and getting better at having things to talk about, but I want to learn how to deal with these situations in the meantime.

Some good answers would mean so much to me really. I appreciate you guys taking the time. Thank you!

 

When you walk into a room of random people, engage and greet each of them individually. do this as soon as you meet them. look them in the eyes. these moves exemplify confidence and approachability. if all else fails, take mdma before

 

it is normal for a silence in the car....if the silence is killing you then you crack a joke

''jesus christ...the silence is brutal...sayb something for fuck sakes''

like that kinda

the first situation is also easy peasy.....if you dont know what to say you should get good at making the others in the room speak up
like this
''what's goin on boys.. ...hey!..did you fellas enjoy the debate during the republican primary in ohio?..i sure did''
or
''hey guys...do any of your sisters or moms give good oral for cash''

or my favorite

''hey guys....wanna go check out my moms underwear drawer...she has this weird rubber carrot and we can give each other massages tonight during say yes to the dress''



seriously....relax a bit....the quiet ones get laid the most lol

 

Agreed, but wanted to add my half penny worth. If you have time, identify the "alpha" male of the group and greet him first. Secondly if there are any obvious couples greet the males first, I know it sounds as sexist as hell but we are not talking politics we are talking millions of years of biology and by greeting the group leader first he is less likely to see you as a threat to his position and this will make it easier for him to accept you into the group and the same with the couples by greeting the man first you are showing little interest in his partner which will make him not see you as a threat to his girl

Also read up on lots of interesting light hearted but totaly useless crap this will act in good stead as conversation fillers my head is full of crap(as you have read above) that has helped out in so many awkward situations it isnt true

Not worth much but its free. I hope this helps

Jay

 

...and have "props" like something cool to show around; or new music to give everybody a listen to; or a six pack of colas or beer, or chips or something. It warms people up and keeps those awkward silences from starting.

 

I was going to reply thinking the OP was a female, but after reading the other replies, I ASSUME the OP is male.

I have social phobia as well. I'd just walk in and say to everyone "hey" and let myself be greeted by them if/as they wanted and PRAY that someone would keep a conversation going with me. But saying I'd walk in and walking in are two different things, haha.

As for silence in ANY situation, the best thing to do as you have already been told, is to make a joke of it. It's honest! "Wow, this silence is... awkward!" (but I'm seeing that from a male/female or female/female silence POV)

 

People greet with eye contact first so when you come upon a group, you generally greet the first person you made eye contact with and then greet the others individually

I'm not a big chatter so I don't know what to say about the whole awkward silence thing except to remember you are not the only one responsible for keeping the conversation going

 

Don't be so technical about things. Remember everyone else there is aiming for a way to keep everyone and themselves comfortable, so just be a part of it

 

Fuck everybody else, you shouldn't feel you HAVE to greet everyone in the room. At least I don't.. if there are too many people to actually greet without making yourself look like a winnet, then save some for later like after you've sat down and say something like "Oh shit man! didn't see you there! how's it going?".
Chances are people are going to say hello to you and want to talk to you anyway, so don't feel you need to do anything. You're not the only conscious person there

As for the silence, it depends who I'm with. Some people I'm comfortable just being silent with, others the silence never comes and the problem is more about shutting us up But basically, don't worry about it - make a few attempts at convo and if they don't happen just day dream until they say something.

 

When I walk into a room of people I usually just kinda glance over everyone so it looks like I'm acknowledging everyone but I'm not really meeting anyone's eye in particular. Its an old public speaking trick. Just say something casual like "whats up guys?"

After that I usually settle in without feeling the need to talk to anyone, and then I speak to the person I know the best or join in the conversation if people are already talking about something.

As far as awkward silences in a one on one situation...in a car, the radio is your friend.

people aren't really judging you, unless they're assholes. Most people are going to feel just as awkward about silences as you. Most people are relieved if you say anything at all. You don't have to come up with something witty, just comment on something. Make stupid jokes. talk about the weather if the silence is too unbearable lol.