Hey there ladies. First I'd like to apologize for the length of this, but would realllllly appriciate some feedback, please. I posted on here a few months ago about an older woman that I've been interested in, but was confused.. Three months later and I'm even more confused.. I'm not really sure where to begin, as the entire situation is confusing.. Basically I've been interested in this woman for about 5 or 6 months. Originally I sent her flowers, and up until then we hadn't really talked much at all. Though I met her about 8 months ago and knew right away that I was interested. Over the course of the past 5 or 6 months we've become good friends and I texted her daily. We go out for coffee often, she's been over a few times, came to a party I had and last week went with me out of town to get a tattoo and went out to dinner. I also wrote her a lengthy poem and made it into a book. I often compliment her and bring up the subject of us. Her usual responses were typically related to our age gap and how she thinks it's not in my best interest.. But when I ask her how she feels she says it doesn't matter and when I ask her to tell me she doesn't feel thr same way, she won't. She used to say things like "trust your instincts" and "go with your gut", when I would ask her about her feelings.. I just feel like I'm playing a game that I can't win and that no matter what I say or do, I can't get a completely straight answer from her. I know she feels the same way, and I've said that to her.. If she didn't, why would she continue to let me "flirt" or make comments.. Why can't she tell me she isn't interested? Because she is! Although in the past she's said that if we were more than friends she would feel a need to hide our relationship, but in return said that wouldn't be fair. She's always very caring comments on certain things I say or do. Is just that she says one thing, and then reinforces it with a completely different statement that gives a different impression. Also, I told her that I love her, via text, which was my mistake and certainly not the way I wanted to say it, but she responded with "I know "... I think She thinks that because I'm so young I'm either, confused, uncertain, don't kw what I want, thinks that I'll change my mind, or that I'm going through a phase, which she has said once or twice. I guess I'm just running out of ways to prove to her that I'm serious.. I sent her flowers, I wrote her a poem, took her out to dinner, invite her to things all the time, I tell her very often how I feel and that I'm serious, she knows how I feel.. And honestly, I have never wanted anything more in my entire life to be with this woman. I love her so much, there is literally a pain inside of me. I think she feels the same way, but because of our age she thinks it's wrong, so she's trying to stop her feelings and it isn't working.. Also that she's "straight", but if she was straight.. She wouldn't even be considering it, or still talking to me about relationship things.. And lastly, the fact that we work for thr same agency, not together, have different bosses, different jobs(she's a "higher up"), but one of her clients lives in the home I work at.. She just recently brought that up by saying "we still work for the same place and if my boss that I had something going on with someone in one of my homes she would make it clear that she wasn't happy.. Nothing would happen, she just wouldn't be happy"... So her saying that, makes me believe that she's thought about it. When I asked her if she was worried or anything, she just said not really.... Also I want to add that during our trip out of town we some how started talking about my ex, and she had a lot of questions, which I don't mind, but the question that has stuck with me was "did you love her?" which she asked after I said how this girl never really had love, so she didn't know how to react and she made a statement about how can you love if you never have loved or had love. Sorry that was so long.. Hopefully it's something that some of you can advise me on?
Just because shes enjoying the attention doesnt mean shes not straight. As an older women , I can see how having a young lady mooning over her would be flattering , knowing that someone wants her so bad that they are half a step from courting her. She may thnk you are sweet , and cute , and flatterd that you feel that much for her , but , shes not wanting to get into a serious relationship. She also may be aware that ten years from now you may not feel the same way.
If you are too young (e.g. 18) I do not think u stand a chance. But if you are only younger than she is but not too young objectively (e.g. u 27 she 40) then I think u should just kiss her. Discussing about it will not bring u anywhere. She obviously sets barriers to herself that u have to overcome with your actions. Be confident, treat her as equal (no insecurities because u r younger) and I think u' ll have what u want. Good luck!
Thanks. We have a very honest friendship, so I think if she didn't feel the same way she would come out and say that, not lead me to think otherwise. I definitely don't act insecure or anything like that. When we're together we both treat each other as equals. I don't even notice the age difference. For some reason she just doesn't believe that I'm gay.
That happens... I agree with WhatIf, if the age difference is not immensly huge, go for it. I mean, you've been telling her for so long now, it's about time someone took action. BUT, I can also very much agree with Erzebet. I'm only 21 myself but I can see how it could be flattering to have a young lady doll over you. But from what I gather from your story, there is no guarantee she's either gay or straight... I guess the only way to know for sure is to take the plunge (so to speak)
