I always thought I would want to do a natural, at home birth with a midwife when the time came. Well, now the time is here (well, in several months) and I find myself panicking and saying, "nope, give me drugs. Give me hospitals and emergency C-sections in case anything goes wrong." I'm trying to ignore the panic and at least explore the option of a midwife. I've found from other experiences that pain is generally mental. The mind can be trained through meditation and other techniques to register pain as something else entirely. But then again, this is child birth. That shit is supposed to HURT. Help me mamas. How did you choose to give birth and what was your experience like?
With my first child I had a midwife, but gave birth in the hospital. It was completely natural, did not have any drugs. The contractions hurt like hell, but the birth for the most part really wasnt that bad. With my second child, I started out all natural but after 17 hours they figured out she was face first. My daughter started to go into distress and I had an emergency cesarean. My 3rd daughter was a cesarean too. In our state it is illegal to have a midwife deliver you at home. There are some that do it, if I ever have another child I will do that. I hated the cesareans, really do not want another one.
so why would you have your next child at home where that isn't an option, when one of your other children may have died if you had gone that route? genuinely curious, not judging.
I think it's important to have quick access to a hospital, and the facilities that they have available. However, I do have some qualms about the way hospitals do deliveries (such as often having the vagina raised, for a better view of the vagina, making delivery harder on the mother) You can have a midwife in a hospital setting, if you have hospitals nearby that allow it. There are also birthing centers that I've heard about, and would recommend looking into.
I looked into it a little and found out that my city's hospital does have a natural waterbirth center connected to it so I think I'm going to talk to my doctor about that option when I see her next week. The more I read about C-sections, the more I want to avoid having one at all costs. But I'm a small person, I have narrow hips, I'm kind of surprised I got pregnant at all because I've always been small and always suspected it might be hard for me to have children. So I definitely want to be in or close to a hospital if anything goes wrong. crimson, with your first child did you experience the "ring of fire" i keep reading about..i'm seriously freaking myself out about child birth, I'm going to have a panic attack before its time for me to give birth
My 3rd daughter was cesarian only because the doctors here make you after youve already had one. She could have easily been a vaginal birth with no problems. Just because one child is trying to come face first doesnt mean every one after is going to be the same. And we are about 10 minutes from 2 hospitals. I doubt Ill have any more kids though. I had to google the "ring of fire" no I didnt experience that. I didnt know her head was out until they told me.
Meliai--My ex and I had our 3 at home with midwives. Boy number one was ass first and the friend that was present said "uh-oh-that doesn't look right". It wasn't. I'll never forget the look on the mid wife's face. ( I was sitting behind ,holding onto the ex)Fortunately,she went right to work and got him out safely. He was her first breach. Could have been real serious. The second and third worked out fine. The mid wife had checked # 1 shortly before birth to see if he was in the correct position,but he changed around somehow shortly (?) before birthing. I like the idea of birthing centers in hospitals. They supposedly make the ambience similiar to a home birth,but if anything goes wrong--you're right there. I've seen film of water births and it looks like they're fine and an interesting way to go.
Just FYI, in NC it's not illegal to deliver at home with a midwife--they just have to be a NURSE midwife, which is basically the same philosophy as a lay certified midwife, but they're better equipped to handle emergencies. OP--I think you've educated yourself enough for now. Just relax (easier said than done) and when the time comes, listen to your body. You're not any less of a woman because you ask for an epidural or end up having a c-section. Definitely look into getting a nurse midwife--they're the best of both worlds and can ease your fears about the unknown I personally think the hospital environment adds to a lot of the fear and anxiety, which can increase the pain perception. (Side note: not giving birth on your back adds about 3cm of extra room for baby to come out) In your home, you feel much safer and have more privacy. Of course, you'd need to be within a short drive of a hospital. Also, I don't know if this is part of what's scaring you, but they almost NEVER do episiotomies anymore. A lot of the old barbaric practices of managing childbirth have gotten MUCH better, though there's still a lot of work to be done. But part of what a midwife does is act as your advocate to prevent you from undergoing unnecessary interventions.
thank you I think i needed to hear that; I feel like I have to have everything figured out RIGHT NOW when i reality I have several months. that is a worry of mine so i'm definitely glad to hear they don't really do it anymore
Hi Meliai, my advice would be to take it as natural as you can. The setting may not be as important as your attitude ... where a fearful mindset may expose you to the influence of so-called authorities even more ... up to that it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Be connected with your instinct ... trust your body and that you will be provided with all the information you need (well our bodies usually are tooting horns - but during pregnancy it seems harder to not listen). Not talking about home or hospital but to trust your own power and being able to carry a child well, and give birth at the right time and place, and grow with it. Child birth is a powerful energetic experience where pain may or may not be involved - however it's not a disease, thus any pain may be experienced quite differently. And you still have lots of time to work with your fears and do something positive to overcome it. Btw both my kids were born at home ... specially the second (breech delivery) went fast and easy. The only thing I used for myself was Bach Flowers rescue remedy. No drugs, thanks. No nurses sitting on top of everything. No hospital schedule, no unhealthy food, no stress for the little ones. It was great for us - mother and child - to get known each other in the peace and quietness of our den, at our very own speed. Not saying this is exactly what will fit you best, just to pick your choices well ... and don't forget to enjoy the shit out of it ! All the best
I love the idea of the Midwife, but if something goes awry I would like to have the emergency medical staff handy. My wife and I are having our first wee one this year and were quite hesitant about the whole concept of going to the hospital for the birth. Luckily, we found a happy medium and met an obstetrician who's incredibly lenient with our birth plan. However, if we didn't have a baby doctor we liked... I'd hate the idea of my wife wearing a gown and being cooped up on a surgery ward, trying to conceive a child while laying on her back.
