I have been married 3.5years to the most wonderful man i ever met. we have a lovely life together. we have a great sex life BUT i cant seem to initiate. my husband would like me too and im getting myself so anxious about it i dont know how im going to do it. we have looked at sex toys together online and ordered then used which was great. we have a nice sex life. i want to be able to do this for him and for us. I get really nervous and anxious that i will make a fool of myself or get rejected. Another big reason that im having trouble lately with sex is that we are having trouble conceiving and are having to go down the cgh ivf path. the thought of not being a mother is really playing on my mind and been a real downer for me for the last 2 years, its made me feel quite lost. im also very unhappy with the way my body looks, i have put on around 15kg since i met my husband and im not liking it. Please help, i need some practical ideas to try and how to get my head on board with this too!
seems like its about confidence, possibly due to the fact that you don't like the way you look? if he wants you to initiate sex, then he clearly has no problems with the way your body looks.
I don't think a man with any sense at all would make his mate feel like a fool for initiating in any way she feels like initiating. Just dive right in and do what you feel like doing. If the man loves you--he'll love any actions you take to please him. I can't imagine a man saying "you fool-what's wrong with you ",when his mate initiates -say-a blow-job. Or a sensuous massage. As far as extra weight--watching what you eat and the amount you eat with exercise should take care of that. Getting pregnant? I don't know.
he married you, and you're still worried that he's going to reject you? if you're concerned about having put on a little weight, then start exercising and take it back off.
Men are such complicated creatures... requiring of complex planning and scheming... OR, slip into bed, naked, and put his hand on something bare that would normally be covered...
He is in love with you the whole human being, be yourself and act how you really want to. You doing just that will turn him on.
Then I guess I need to check my "chick handbook"... as I do not recall a chapter titled, "Simple and Straightforward". I'm sure I'm the only one who has "missed" it.
I had the same problem. And then I found this app called 'Mastering' (iphone) and it really helped me. Because I had a point of conversation. I showed my partner the app and he loved it. Each time we try something new from it. It is our 'excuse' to initiate things. Now all I have to do is leave the iPhone on what I want on his bedside table... he knows what to do next :2thumbsup:
