I like this! I agree. 25 isn't all that old. He's a little bit young-ish himself- like personality wise. He isn't all that mature, as I thought he was 23 when I first started working there! Hahaaa, I do deserve it!! 4 months is a long time!
Speak to him again. If he's still holding back, then I'll jump on the next train to London and help you out!
Anymore advice pour moi? Is this a big age gap or not cos I don't think so! [/QUOTE] Hell no. Let him know you don't want a long term relationship. And that you're not into drama. See if his tune changes.
One thing that might be blocking the process is that he might not be sure if you are looking for a relationship or a booty call. His telling you "Yes but no" suggests that he wants you to convince him that all you want his his hot body.
As he was saying about "not wanting to seem to take advantage of you[your age]" maybe he's conscious about the work enviroment if they found out and doesn't want a lawsuit? Sexual Harrassment anyone? He probably has low self-esteem and when a pretty/sexxy girl comes out of the woodwork for him, he might not think it has to do with him but in a greater scheme. Also the chance that maybe he doesn't just want to rock n' roll, but a real relationship and thinks it's just childish with anyone 20 and under?, even with his immaturity. So who knows, but for now you can probably easily get it somewhere else to clear your mind and your.. well yeah, but most guys are down for it, and the way he thinks of you sounds like most other (and possibly more attractive for a single fun time) males would love to take advantage of this mode you're in! I know sounds bad but eh.. Anyways later you can approach him with a less seductive manner, and by spilling some water and slowly wiping it off his pants get him interested haha, but in an innocent manner would probably let you continue and maybe to something else. So, just take it easy and make sure he doesn't have another lover he's hiding or something. Though if he strongly feels that way, slowly break that barrier not over just a few drinks so he feels like there is true interest, but Good Luck! Oh and yeah it's not that far of a leap, I'm ok looking but I got with a smoking 23 y/o woman when I was seventeen, so not too bad, especially that it's an older gent for you, makes it seem 'normal'ish so it's fine, just his thinking for now. So 6 years for me was almost ok because she looked 18/19 and worked out for our ahem.. needs.
Hmmm, very good advice. Thank you!! You've all given me something to think about. He's quite confusing, cos he seems like he could be broken down over time. I need to work it over in my mind definitely. I do remember saying that if we were to do it he wouldn't regret it and I said something a bit suggestive and he said 'Stop it you minx.' I think he's holding back, that he is quite shy and insecure... I could be wrong though. I am also starting to agree that he may worry about getting too attached. I'm exactly the same. lol. But I like to take risks! That's why it's so hard for me to leave this be.
He could be indoctrinated with pc horseshit. When I was in college, it was considered "slimy" for seniors (21) to have sex with "freshpersons" (18). On the other hand, all heterosexuality was considered "oppressive to women", or at least the militant lesbians did a good job of convincing people that it was so and of generally fucking up straight relationships. He may just need to be de-programmed. Maybe there is an article on-line that he could read indicated that this is entirely normal, healthy, and socially acceptable. There are plenty of happily married couples that have the same or bigger age difference, and who met at about that age. If that fails, grab him by the penis
I`m like your co-worker. I avoid girls in general, but especially young, flirty ones. So, I`ll try to look inward and guess what might be happening with this guy as a favor to you. a) If it`s merely physical, I think the chick should take the initiative. It minimizes the risks of being falsely accused of rape, etc. I`d also not want to put in the work to "seduce"; b) I might be worried you can`t keep the affair private due to maturity issues (especially since it would happen in the workplace); c) Flirting and innuendo are actually a turn off to me. What works is simply inviting me to a place where we could be alone and be a total whore; d) As it's been implied, I might be afraid of feelings and whether you`d be able to handle a relationship which was both private and sexually open, but still sensitive (in other words, two weeks after we have sex, you`re out flirting with the next co-worker in front of me); e) I might think you`re cockteasing; f) I would wonder if you`re tested, on the pill, etc. A pregnancy would totally fuck my life, would be a definite thought; g) I`d be afraid you`d eventually want to tag the "boyfriend" label onto me and control me; h) I might fear I`d have to "teach" you in bed; i) I might fear you'd want free drinks and dinner.
Thank you for such a thought out, detailed response Cherea. I think perhaps G, D and B could be the main thing. However, I already said what I was after... Cos he said he didn't want to seem like he was using me. So I said, 'Well it'd be OK If I was using you too.' And he goes, 'Ah behave.' Or something like that. And as for keeping it private, I said I wouldn't tell anyone to which he replied he would tell everyone. He's a bit of a joker. I was trying to talk to him on a serious level, but he just kept telling jokes and taking the piss making me laugh. I like that about him, but it was kind of hard to make sense of the situation. As for the rest of what you said, I doubt he's worried he'd get me preggers or even that he'd have to teach me. I made it clear to him I was experienced and would make it worth his while. Men... How they confuse me!!
No problem. You actually seem pretty cool about it, given the additional information. Yes, it sounds like it might be Madonna-whore; or, related to that, he likes you emotionally, but doesn`t want a traditional relationship with you due to your age. Maybe he can`t conceive of having feelings for someone in a sexual relationship, without the usual arm-candy, wedding ring, and bread-winning aspect of heterosexual relationships. ----------------- As for men confusing you, I figure men say the opposite of what they usually want just as much as women. Women want casual sex a lot more than they let on, and men want marriage a lot more than they let on. It seems, hypocrisy is in 99% of homo sapiens genes. Like you, I hope against hope to find people of the opposite sex I can actually be honest with. We`re both probably looking for about a 1% sample of the population, I figure. I lot of us will die without meeting each other.
Honestly, you're probably annoying the hell out of him. maybe he isn't really attracted to you and is just being nice. Or he has a lack of experience and you are too forthcoming for him. There would have to be a good reason for most guys to turn down an easy lay. He most likely wants to avoid work place drama. Teenagers tend to have their share of drama... nah mean? Either way, you could always try to chill with him outside of work, where he may be more relaxed. If after a couple hours you two aren't getting it in.... slip him a roofie.
Hey girl! you get your toy yet???! ^^ Tease the shit out of him(aka be a cocktease!), to teach him a lesson for making up too many jokes and not getting to business, take the loving for a short time hehehehe you two can figure out after bed play, about the long time stuff. Right now...JUST GET LAID! hehehehe all the best
Haha probably. I don't doubt. Just spent the afternoon staring at the back of his head. Nope, not troubled at all me.
Stop with flirting and innuendo, don't show any sign that you want to have sex with him for a week or two and see what happens.
And if I do this, what am I expecting to get from it? Will he just bugger off elsewhere? Cos I don't think he's the chasing type. If I don't talk to him, he won't talk to me. He's just that kind of person I guess. I know this from experience, because we didn't really talk for a few weeks because he thought I felt awkward around him... Eh. :/