Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 8 months now, but the first 7 months we were a really innocent couple, more like really good friends that just talked about everything, we talked all day every day, but we never really held hands, or kissed, or anything. We would cuddle and stuff while watching movies, but thats it. And we only kissed a handful of times, usually just small little pecks. We were an odd couple, not very touchy, especially in public. But we talked and got to know everything about each other very well and became best friends pretty much. but these past few weeks, we started getting a lot more intimate out of nowhere. About time, though. We started to make out for the first time, and this seriously lasted about two hours, after an hour or so we were feeling each other up, hand up the shirt, under the bra, etc. it felt right, and normal during the time... but the next day i felt kind of bad about it, like i violated her in a way? Even though i know she enjoyed it, she moaned a bit even, and when she had to leave, she gave me the longest hug goodbye ever, and told me how she had an amazing time later on that night. Then the next time she came over, we started making out again, which again lasted for hours... but this time our touching went further, the next thing i knew... my hand was down her pants fingering her, as she was giving me a hand job. Again, during the time it felt completly fine and nice. But afterwards, the next day, i woke up kind of thinking "Whoa, did that really happen?" and seeing her at school the next day was kind of... awkward, i felt embaressed to talk to her for some reason, it's been days later now though... and i don't feel as awkward, but is this normal? We're in grade 12 too, btw. So we're pretty innocent considering our age i think, we're both each others first boyfriend/girlfriend and are both virgins.
I'd say that's normal considering this is your first relationship. I would actually bring this subject up with her so as to let her know how you're feeling about the whole situation. I mean, it can't have been a bad experience(for either of you), you just feel a bit awkward after the event. Maybe she feels a little awkward herself. Talk to her, and share your thoughts, feelings, with her. It's a good idea also considering you two have become best friends...which by the way is great, I love hearing something like this. But yeah, communication: very important. All the best!
Talking to her would be a good idea, i actually wanted to the day after it happened. But how would i bring it up? Especially now, seeing as how it was days ago... But she is coming over again tomorrow night, who knows what will happen then. It literally seems as if every time she comes over, we get further and further... It started off that she would come over and play video games, and we would sit apart... then the next time we sat side by side, then the next time we started holding hands and cuddling, then the next time we started making out... and now this. So who knows now. Maybe i'll see what happens, if we get this far again, then i'll bring it up somehow the next day? Unless it no longer feels awkward of course, I don't think it will as much, considering it wouldn't have been the first time.
Okay, she was just over again (just left now) and the same thing happened, during it always feel "right" but now that she's gone, i feel so... guilty and bad, i don't know why, i know she likes it, she also helped in provoking it this time, along with moaning and whatnot. So i don't know why i feel so guilty. Also, I need a little advice. Both times we've done this down, while i've been doing stuff with her, she never really gives me a "hand job" she more like... just puts her hand there, and moves it around just a little bit, and extremely lightly with no pressure, so it doesn't feel that great.. i can barely feel anything at all. But i don't wanna tell her what to do, that may seem creepy. And we're both laying down in bed doing this, while making out, so how would i make her go down on me? I'm sure that would feel a lot better. I think she would want to as well, she just doesn't know how to work her way down to it (she's extremely shy, i usually have to start everything before she goes ahead, kind of like.. letting her know its alright)
Dude, if I may.... It sounds to me like you've missed the point of my last post. I mean, you guys are doing OK. BUT, you're still NOT communicating. I know it makes you nervous, but if it does, then EXPRESS it to her, so she understands how you actually feel. Be sure to emphasize that you DO enjoy making out with her. But you also need to make sure she understands how you feel AFTERWARD, too. About the hand job aspect... Again, TALK TO HER about it, in a way so that she won't feel like you're being overly critical. This is new to both of you, so it's OK to be clueless about it. You just have to learn, and have fun while you're at it. But yeah, talk to her about it, and let her know you have absolutely no intention of coming off as being creepy. Actually... Have a discussion so that BOTH of you get to tell each other how you like to be touched. This kind of intimate talk is important in my opinion. ALSO... You DO NOT MAKE her go down on you. She has to WANT TO. So my advice is, how about you suggest to her that YOU are interested in going down on HER? You know how it works... "Ladies first". Then if she wants to reciprocate, honour her wish. If she doesn't want to, respect that, too. I've dated a very shy girl in the past myself. The key is to be very very patient. All the best!
no no, i didn't miss the point in your last post, i do plan on communicating with her. But I didn't want to before because this whole situation happened days ago, so i thought it'd be weird to just randomly bring it up, days later... So i was just going to wait for it to happen again, then bring it up after that. And now, seeing as how it just happened again last night, i plan on bringing it up while talking to her today. But, how do i bring such a thing up? How would i just... jump into a conversation like that? Just start talking about last night or something? And yes i agree, i wouldn't ever make her do anything she doesn't want to do, at all! Thats the main reason i feel guilty afterwards, i always get that thought in my head "what if she didn't want me to do that..." because she never says she does, but she never says she doesn't and stops it either... plus she seems as if she enjoys it. So yes, i wouldn't ever tell her to go down on me, i wouldn't even want to ask her to either, because i don't want her to feel obligated to. I was just hoping to learn some sort of 'body language' or something i can hint that would let her know. I would go down on her first like you suggested, but i really wouldn't know how to work my way down there... seeing as how we're both laying in bed face to face, so... like, how would i just slowly work my way down without feeling awkward? And for the asking part, i'm very shy too actually, i wouldn't be able to talk to her about this stuff in person without getting all embaressed and blushing
Ahh! Alrighty then. My apologies. Well, I think the best thing to do is simply to bring it up, BUT be considerate at the same time. Explain in a way that your point is clearly stated, but at the same time, you don't come across as being TOO forward. Yeah, I didn't think you'd be the type, actually. It's cool, I was just making sure anyway, lol. As for the thing about oral... Why don't you just talk to her about it? Ask her how she feels about two things... One, about receiving it, and two, about giving it. I guess you're shy too, but the point here is for the both of you to become more comfortable with each other not just in a sexual sense but in every sense. Just talk to her in a way that wouldn't make her overly nervous, and you should be file... I think.
Ah i see, yeah that's good advice. Do people normally talk about these things though? I never thought they did, i always feel as if i'm being weird or creepy when i bring things up like this, but i'll attempt bringing it up in a conversation today
Remember, she no more knows what to do that you seem to. Sure, in a sex-saturated media environment, it seems like we are born knowing, but it is all, all, ALL in the details. A simple, soft "mmmmm. That is good. I'd like more pressure, please" is a good start. Ask her if she like a particular spot more than another. Listen to breathing, watch for flushing and eye dilation. As for awkwardness afterward, we're you taught not to do anything until marriage, or taught that only sick, perverted or low class people did x, y or z? Are you having guilt for "leading her astray?" Sex is fine when it is done with respect, openness, caring and awareness. Without these, it is hideous. So be open, respectful, caring and aware. Try just enjoying what comes without forcing. Experiment. One of the most erotic sessions I ever had was with a lover who took the time to lightly stroke every cm of my skin, slowly and methodically. Although I was completely sedated by the end, it was heaven. I did the same to him on our next meeting and he just purred. That is not to say we were only doing that, but it was a great ending point for us, as we were very active with sex. With less active partners and moods, smaller bits of experimentation are nice. Since you are learning each other's bodies, it is necessary. And there is nothing wrong with showing how you like something, either by placing your hand over your partners, or really showing solo, if you are both comfortable with that. And while you have time, get some condoms. Be prepared.
Couples that have a really good relationship with each other talk about these kinds of things. However, much like your situation, many young people do NOT talk about these things for exactly the same reasons your apprehensive, about bring up the subject to your girlfriend. --- I'd start the conversation off like this if I were you: Me: "Hey (her name), I know things have been getting pretty hot and heavy between us lately and I need to know how you feel about what we've been doing recently. I don't want to pressure you into something you don't really want. I should've asked this sooner, but like you I'm new at this. -- From her response just see where the conversation goes from there. Good luck!
At anytime, a girl likes to be asked "is this ok". When in doubt (and to dispell any regret later) ask her if she's ok with what you're (both of you) doing and where it's going. I think you are having a normal reaction to a perfectly normal desire. If you haven't learned yet, girls are funny - they have the same needs but tend to complicate them with emotions. It's very tough knowing what "she's" thinking. From what you write, I think she's on the same page.
Oh man... I can remember those days like they were yesterday. The first time fooling around and wondering what on earth I was doing and if I should be. They are some of the best times, and some of the most awkward. Anyway... yeah, talking about it is the best course of action. But you need to figure out WHY you're feeling guilty about what you're doing, as well. The sooner you're able to figure out what's going on in your own head, the sooner you'll be able to figure out how to go about things to work things out between you. But don't let not knowing why you feel that way, keep you from asking her. You definately need to ask and make sure she's okay with it. Then work on trying to sort out your own feelings. Good luck to you...
OP...What is your home life like? Are your parents openly loving and affectionate? Is sex the dirty little secret nobody every mentions? If you weren't raised to believe that affection, and even sex, are normal and healthy parts of a person's life, it would make sense for you to feel guilty after making out with your girlfriend. You and your girlfriend started out your relationship with lots of communication, where did it go? Talk to her. I seriously doubt she would keep coming back, and giving you long hugs etc. if she felt like you were violating her in any way. Chances are she is just as scared as you, and has her own questions and concerns. Talk to each other, and enjoy the journey together.
I dunno if I would tell her you feel awkward about it. It could sound like regret...the girl is opening up to you and giving you the green light, if she didn't want to do it she simply wouldn't, chicks don't play that. I think the person you need to get to the bottom of this issue with is yourself. It seems like somewhere in your mind you think this is wrong or bad. You gotta let that go or unlearn that shit quick. Sex and all the dirty messy nastiness that comes with it is completey natural and our species has relied on those urges and behaviors to keep us around on this planet since the beginning. You're good dude, so just stop worrying and enjoy it. When she says no...then you can apply the breaks, otherwise chill out.
I dated a girl when I was in my early 20's, and she and I both came out of that relationship still being virgins after 2 and a half years. Different people have different reasons for not taking steps very quicky in a relationship. Doesn't mean they are trolling. And this is where I'm going to bite my tongue. Peace.
Or you could stick a thumb up your ass (pretend you're in prison, if it helps you), and just move on. What the hell does waiting 7 months to have sex have anything to do with sexual orientation? Oh wait!! You are a Trollololollol. @OP, keep doing what you're doing, bro. The good things are never easy.
Not really, my parents have been divorced since i was like... 10 or so, and they kept getting together/separating on and off for years, causing me to move around from house to house for years. With much arguing and fighting, so i'd say they deffinitly aren't openly loving and affectionate. I remember being back in middle school, when girls would run up to me asking me for hugs and stuff, and i'd always be like "uhm... why?" and would feel so awkward about it, i hated giving random people hugs, then years later i realized it was probably because i literally never remember either of my parents hugging me, so i thought it was really weird to have random people wanting hugs from me... And thanks for all the sudden replies everyone, i'll take the advice and talk to her (still haven't gotten around to it) But, i have a really weird, off topic question, about her not me... Both of the times she was over, and things got a little "hot and heavy" as i was "fingering her" i couldn't actually ever find a whole, i thought i did during a few moments, but i wasn't really sure (we were making out at the same time, so i wasn't looking/couldn't see, i had to go by feeling) so i was little confused both times... And just today, she was telling me about her period (she's usually tells me about these things because i'm the only person she feels comfortable talking to about it) and i made some joke about a tampon, and she was telling me how she actually never uses a tampon because she can't put it in? And so i asked, "do you just not know how? or does it actually not fit?" and she said "no i know how, but yes it wont go in... it's like there's not even a hole there! I've tried many times but it hurts!" And so at this point, i was a little weirded out... like, between the incident of me not finding a whole there, and now her saying this... i was a bit nervous, like... is there something wrong with her? And so i made a joke saying how maybe she's a shemale, as a joke... and she was like "Oh yes i'm half male, sorry you had to find out this way :/ (also, as a joke)" but then she went on to say "noo no, don't worry, there's a logical explanation" But then she changed the subject, and now i'm really confused as to whaat this explanation is... My minds going to be so fucked if i find out she's like... something weird... i don't even know, anyone know what this is??
dude you can't be this retarded, really? do they not teach you this stuff? are you really a senior in high school? there "is no hole" because she is a virgin. she can't get a tampon in her vag because her hymen isn't broken
