long term relationship

lol thanks..and yes i am sure hes not cheating, its not like im not pleasing him, we have done everythinnng but actual intercourse. and yes hes a virgin too so for him its not a huge rush where he knows what it is like already and all i guess..where as if he was not a virgin im sure it might have been pushed more so.

 

how is it hypocritical for a woman who has experience with multiple men to point out that you can do better than the only one you've ever been with?

 

i did have a boyfriend, an ex for about 4 months in high school.. It obviously wasnt serious like my relationship with my bf. The reason i said she was being hypocritical is cause shes telling me i had so much fun dating, hooking up, clubbing ect at my age and she never stuck with a guy then now she middle aged single women never married and no kids..shes putting my relationship down that i have with my bf but to me its dumb cause i dont want to end up like her.. I have a different personaility, i like my long term relationship

 

Well thats the tricky part, growing up in the suburbs or country, every grown up you see married, kids, volvo, soccer practice, bbq's. That all you see, so you get it in your head thats what all people do when they get older. You dont see everyone else

And you might have the rare family relative, an aunt or something, a family friend, some middle aged woman not married, no kids, that you dont see very often, and on the rare occasions she does turn up to the family function, its by herself. You see that and think to yourself, oh she's by herself, thats scary I dont want to end up alone.

Whereas that middle aged female relative has turned up alone, didnt bring the current fling, becuase she knows your mum and all the other married women are going to get bitchy and gossippy, lecture her constantly, and they are not going to want such a free will anywhere near their husbands. So she's not giing to talk about her latest trip to India where she hooked up with some yoga guru guy and they lazed around smoking weed and having awesome sex for weeks, again cos your mum ones like her will just attack her

By the same token you dont see the girls that concentrated on career and money, didnt get married or have kids, middle aged with personal trainer, thus still have the figure of a 20 yr old, corporate expense account, BMW and a toy boy boyfriend

And you are most certainly not going to see the guys your dads age running around in a Porshe with a diffrent 19 yr old girlfriend every 6 months. Because your mum and all the oyher older girls know, all those 19 year old girlfriends also have some chump of a boyfriend their own age with no money to them getting the 'oh, I'm not ready for sex' routine. And if your dad or your boyfriend and others like them see that, they are just going to think, hang on a minute, what where you getting up to at 19?

And even if you are not one of those girls, you end up having to pay for their behaviour anyway, whether you like it or not. Cos the guys are never completely sure, they do only have your word in the end.

Try too hard to talk around your boyfriend about what was it, having the same morals and values, but then he sees you blushing, going week at the knees at every rich tall dark and handsome man, he's not going to buy it.


And what happens with this boyfiend? If you go on to get married and gets reasonably successful, a bit of money to him, then gets to 35 and all of a sudden he's got a whole bunch of teen girls coming at him, that are giggling in the bedroom whilst he's licking strawberries off her tummy, talking about their same age boyfriend, laughing, telling him,'oh no we are not having sex, he doesnt know what he's doing, and it only lasts 10 seconds

Which is why you have to try and spend all his money, and fatten him up, so that doesnt happen.....which is why your dad looks the way he does.


You may have noticed the distinct lack of female replies to this thread, in fact the only one that did reply, you've attacked. Or if they do reply it will be some vague wishy washy talk intended more for clueless male readers than you. But for the most part they'll keep quiet


......Because they know, its never really about the guys, its always having to deal with the other chics first. Pretty much any guy that hears 3 years is just going to think, wow what a pussy. Any girl is just going to think well played sister. Even if you are actually a champion of virtue and sanctity

 

Ok not to be rude but you went off in a huge rant and i dont get half of what you said. and i do NOT live in the suburbs or the country, i live in a huge, giant city.. duno where you got that from. I think everything is very generalized and guessing things that no one has no idea and you dont even know my bf. this was not meant to get to technical or into what my future will be i just wanted reassurance about sex and all. how can you even say hes going to have young girls over or w.e you were saying its all just ridiculous.

and the women will keep quiet on here why exactly? :s and one women i didnt no attack at all i agreed with.. who are you saying i attacked ? :S plus many guys seem to be making it like hes a good guy and a keeper ect.

i dont care also what other guys say if they think hes a pussy- cause i know hes respectful to me.

If a moderator could please delete this entire thread i would greatly greatly appreciate it. i dont want anyone i know to see this and its getting really off topic

 

Well looks like its going to get closed. But what do you need reassurance on?, dont have sex till you get married so you have that assurance if you get pregnant, he's a keeper. So whats the problem?


But wishing to now delete all this,cos it didnt go your way, a bunch of people didnt say just what you want to hear, didnt go the way you wanted to control it, and you dont want anyone you know to see this....why, whats there to worry about? What is there to hide?

 

Theres nothing for me to hide .. I actually showed this to my bf.. Im just done with the forum got enough replies. How do u know it will be closed? No it was still good tho i appreciate everyones opinions all i just needed was assurance on was not gettn pregnant and being calm my first time

 

regret is just a feeling. a passing one at that.

 

Smoke a little weed and stop thinking so much about it, I lost my virginity in the 8th grade, my girlfriend at the time was ready, cause she "loved" me. I just wanted to get laid. Just try it and see what happens, be lucky that after 3 years he is still with you, but that's what matters most here , he loves you enough to the point he doesn't need it. So why not reward him lol

 

yeah i agree and i know i wont regret sex cause he means so much to me.

and lol i dont smoke weed but anyways i do feel more comfortable now to have sex for sure and not so nervous my first time. and thats true i do feel very lucky hes still with me and respects me. hah and yes i will reward him soon lol

 

that's the spirit. Reward your man! Suck his dick! Bend over and take it doggy style! Secrete your pussy juice all over his throbbing member then gobble it up for him like a pornstar!

 

Offering your virginity, the way I perceive it, isn't a reward. Reward makes it sound like virginity is to be bought in exchange for something almost. Rather, I perceive it's the most special, intimate gift you could give to the one you love and care about. It's an honour.
But then I'm a hopeless romantic, so I'm just disgustingly hopeful when it comes to the whole idea of the first time sex, LOL. xD

 

I think the OP was about Lina's sex blockage, and the rest was just some background to help us understand her a little better. Which is why weed seemed like a serious answer to me (it's not about needing it to relax, it just does relax you and make you feel more sexual, but anyway, i'm not trying to convince you here).
The matter is that, your sex blockage must have something to with deep, intimate "issues", and we would have to know you personnaly to be able to say something pertinent about that I guess. Plus, you seem to differ from the majority of this forum's users on a lot of points (no sex before marriage and no weed ; you don't really sounds like "a hippie" if you see what i mean), which is probably why lots of them easily discuss (with some brutality sometimes) your views on relationship while they (we) have troubles understanding and help you with the sex blockage problem itself, as it is deeply linked with a conception of love and sex they (we) don't share for the most of us.
Anyway, I think you'd better talk about it with someone close, if discussing it with you bf didn't solve the problem. Try to understand yourself better, think about love and sex, ask yourself questions, and then try to relax and take the time you need with your bf ; that's all I got.

PS : It's 11pm here, I'm getting tired and english sounds like a foreign language to me now ^^ => Excuse my synthax

 

yeah your right alternative thinker i dont think offering my virginity is a reward either i was joking when i put oh yea i will lol i will just cause i want to. i agree it is like a gift

and yeah syd this originally all was just about how to help me feel more comfortable and relaxed my first time- that was basically it. so i dont freeze and if anyone else went through that there first time. it was in no way to say i doubted losing it to him, i never have, it was just i wanted to hear from others in long term relationships and yea thats ok weed can work for some just not me and no i dont consider myself a hippy to be honest i just posted on these forumsi dont think i havent had sex yet cause deep intimate issues, ive just been scared of pain my first time. but no i do want sex before marriage considering i have such a great bf

and dicussing with my bf did solve lot we are on the same page about a lot.

but ya thanks everyone for your opinions- like i said i dont want anyone to think i dont want sex before marriage (it wasss a thought when i was younger until i got into a long term relationship), or that i do not want to marry my bf, which i would love to.. but instead i just wanted to hear from others how to i guess relax more my first time and hear from others in long term relationships

 

Oh yeah, the actual "fear" aspect of it. I DID understand the question but I suppose I allowed myself to get carried away with the other stuff I must admit, lol. xD

Well, if the idea of actual penetration is what's been making you feel apprehensive, why not try to start with something smaller than his penis and work your way up? I'm sure your boyfriend will be happy to help with this also. It may further delay the actual event of your first time sex, but it may help you prepare yourself for it both physically and mentally. Just a thought...

 

lol thats alright i needed opinions and all anyways & yes thats very true i will try that and talk to him about it, thanks for suggestion

 

You're welcome. Yeah, I personally think it's better because it allows your hymen and/or vaginal entrance to stretch gradually until it can accommodate something as big as his penis, as opposed to simply tearing your hymen which may indeed seem scary. Some people go through the latter process and feel okay about it, but it also wouldn't hurt to try dodging discomfort if you can help it... Hmm, no pun intended, lol. xD

 

I will again point out the distinct lack of female replies to this thread