I slept with my best friend's ex... idk what to do.

My best friend of 15 years broke up with his girl friend about a month ago. They dated for about 3 and half years. I was single this whole time so we all 3 hung out all the time. and I mean all the time. So he broke up with her kinda out of the blue. Just said he fell out of love with her and didn't think she was the one.

I didn't agree with his decision. I thought she was a really great girl. I felt like he was making a bad decision. I tried hard to get them back together, but it didn't work. So this left me in a awkward situation. He was my best friend but I also was really good friends with her and cared for her a lot.

After the break up we started texting a lot. I was mostly just trying to be there for her because she was upset. But last week she started talking about how horny she was and I told her we couldn't talk about that because it was inappropriate. A couple days later we were texting again and ended up telling each other that we had more then "friend" feelings for each other. I told her I wouldn't do anything behind his back and that I would tell him if we still felt the same later down the road. Because I felt like their break up is still pretty fresh.

I think the world of this girl. I think she is absolutely perfect. And since we've been friends and hung out a lot, I care for her enough to say I love her as a person. I was never "in love", but I do love her. So now there are these new feelings and I really would like to date her but I just feel like it's totally fucked up.

I went to a wedding with her yesterday because she didn't have a date and didn't want to go alone. Afterwards we drank at the reception and more at the after party at bar. We danced all night and had a great time. On the cab ride home we started making out. We get to her place and I go sit on the couch to get ready for bed and she starts up the stairs and says "Are you coming?". I know it's no excuse, but I was drunk and I just couldn't say no.

So it happened. I woke up ashamed. I should have been stronger. I know what I did was wrong to my best friend. But at the same time, I really-really like this girl and want to be with her. What am I to do? How bad did I screw up? Any chance he will understand or am I a dead man?

 

ask him if you could see her, and explain to him how you feel about her.

 

He will be upset sure but hey life is for living - its a sensitive subject but hey he felt she wasn't the one so its its cool .... tho I am pretty sure your friend wont see it like that unless he is totally secure in himself...good luck .... :2thumbsup:

 

i still don't understand why people can't go to a wedding without a date.

 

I don't care, it's worked to my advantage.

@greenlife,

If I were you, I'd feel no guilt at all man. This isn't one of those situations where the girl dumped your best guy friend, your guy dumped your best girl friend.

Go pursue happiness with her as much as possible, there are some who don't get this opportunity in life.

 

Sleep with her again to make up for it.

 

They aren't together for a reason... Probably going to stay like that, if he is mad about you being with her then he thinks u are either betraying him or doesn't want you to be hurt. But yes, talk to him about her. Its tough but just ask for his approval, I am sure he wont care.

 

Well now she's all weirded out by it and confused about her feelings. So now it all happened for no reason. Fuck me.

 

It did happen for a reason, hormones.

 

Man you post on every thread and your posts rarley have anything to do with the OPs issue... d you have a life outside of this forum?

As for the OPs issue sounds like you have already made your bed (pun intended) with her. Either cut it off with her and never say a thing to your friend or confess to him and persue things with her. It really looks like it's a choice between them though because he probably won't want to know you if you persue shit with her.

 

I feel like if he's your best friend, he will sort've understand if you fess to him like you honestly did here. Tell him you actually like her, and you know it all sounds stupid but you would love to have his blessing to go for it or something. This may bruise his ego a bit, and he may secretly be jealous, but he dumped her, and as they say, all is fair in love & war

 

Well if u love her and she loves u u owe it to yourselves to explore ur feelings if your friend has a problem with it then that's his problem not urs

 

I don't know nor think she loves him. What kind of girl hooks up with her boyfriend of 3.5 years best friend weeks later? Manipulative, insecure, only thinking of the moment, doesn't care for others & only trying to fix her mended feelings, etc. I'd be hella warry of said girl.

IMO

 

^ since when is anything ever that black and white? Maybe she had feelings for her boyfriends best friend while they were together? Maybe her relationship with her bf was unforfilling in some way? fuck for all you know her bf was abusive as hell behind closed doors while his best friend was a complete sweetheart to her. You can't just shoe horn someone into the 'manipulative and insecure' categories because you don't like the general idea of their actions.

 

I really don't think there's a "bad guy (or gal)" in this situation. You two have known each other a long time, there was sexual tension, you got drunk and things happened. I think you should talk to the girl to decide if, how, and when you're going to tell your friend. Only the parties involved know the complexity of the situation, so you will need to decide how to proceed. Best if you and the girl are on the same page about that decision.

 

Not sure if this is going to give you any hope, but I married the best friend of the man I was engaged to 5 years ago

 

I tend to fuck my friends so they shouldn't be surprised if I fuck the people they are dating

 

i fail to see how my tendency to go a little off topic has anything to do with having a life outside the forum.

and yes, i do have one. i generally get on the forums for around an hour most evenings, and for about a half hour in the morning a couple days a week.

 

Thanks for the replies. This situation has only got worse though. She feels terrible bc she knows that they will never get back together if he finds out. I know him pretty well and I think that is pretty unlikely for that to happen but I can't hurt her anymore and take that hope from her. She doesn't want me to tell him for that reason though.

She also has cut off all communication between me and her. So yea, this all sucks. I would much rather have our friendship then the one might between the sheets. All I can do is hope she'll talk to me once these feelings die down a little.

Part of me just wants to go ahead and tell my friend. I guess there is a chance he'll understand and tell me to follow my heart, maybe give me his blessing. This also would make her know for sure they are not getting back together. Then the healing can begin and maybe she'll want to pursue "us" again later down the road. Or shit go real sour and he not approve and I lose both of them. I feel like I need to tell him either way. I just hate to hurt her anymore. But putting her before him has already burned me once.

 

Sounds to me like you are about to learn about women the hard way.