I slept with my best friend's ex... idk what to do.

There's a disconnect here. She's pretty much told you she wants him, not you. If I were you, I'd move on from this mess. If you decide to tell your friend (which you probably should because I suspect she will eventually), just come clean and leave out as many details as possible. Don't act like you want his blessing or anything, do it because you want to mend the relationship with him, not her. The consequence is that he may not trust you as much anymore, or maybe he really won't care. Who knows?

I'd also advise you wait to tell him when the timing is right - when you're both in a good mood.

 

You honestly set yourself up for this. ''we can't text about this because it's innapropriate'' is just slang for ''I want to bang you too but I want to be a good guy so I say it inconspicuously''.

Going to a wedding with her even after she told you this?

Getting drunk and dancing with her?

SLEEPING AT HER HOUSE?

WTF did you expect was going to happen? You set yourself up bro. It's like putting a glass of water in front of a man who has been in the desert for a week and telling him not to drink it because it's wrong. You set yourself up for failure.

Now start acting like a man and tell your friend.

 

^ As harsh as it is I agree with Shivaya. You should tell him. He deserves to know this especially if she is thinking about trying to get him back. All the facts should be on the table, and as much as he might be upset with you, I think he'll get over it after a little while. He broke up with her. He'll probably see it the same way as you, he doesn't want to lose two friends. Either way, best of luck, and hope everything works out for you.

 

he broke up with her, why the fuck should he care who she is banging?

 

This one clearly has no knowledge or understanding of the bro code

 

Come on , so if your "best friend " was banging your ex. within one month of a break up and never told you anything . No matter who broke up with whom. Than you would have no problem with it ? It would never cross your mind that your best friend could no longer be trusted . If it was a stranger okay , but this shit is to close to home . He should of been honest with his best friend BEFORE he put himself in this situation .

 

I am mature enough to know that if I break up with someone, they are fair game. Even for a "best friend". People would be much happier if they shed jealousy, it is an ugly thing.

I am almost 30 years old now and I have given up on stupid things like "bro codes". I thought people got over shit like that after high school. It's the good old "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you" thing and it is incredibly stupid.

 

Life is always like high school, it's the role you choose to play that changes.

 

Honestly I think you were the rebound.

Not that it neccessarily makes her manipulative or a bad person. She was dumped by your friend, you were there and and you are someone she trusts and knows. Shit happens.

But still, you were the rebound. You just gotta let this go and take a step back from this girl.

I don't think its absolutely neccessary to tell your friend, although if they end up getting back together and it comes out eventually I'm sure he would rather he hear it from you now than her later.

 

LOL what a manipulative bitch. What did I tell you? She doesn't want you to tell him 'cuz she only cares about herself.

She cut off communication with you after sleeping with you, initiating it herself even, because she only cares about herself.

Be happy ya fuck'd her. It's what you've always wanted. At this point I'd pick allegiance with your best friend of 15 years if it was me.

Hope you yourself don't' get too hurt in all this but clean up the mess and move on.

 

You're absolutely right. Even though I knew it was wrong I let it happen. I couldn't help it. I really dig this chic. I really wish I wouldn't have let it happen now though.

 

I see what you're saying. And I think I agree. I do care about her and wish It could be different. I am kind of glad we had sex though. I definitely would have always wondered

 

So I told my buddy. He didn't have a lot to say but he did say everything was going to be okay. So I guess we'll just have to give it some time. Currently talking to the girl. Idk what's going to happen there yet. Thanks to everyone for the replies. I didn't have anyone I know personally to talk about this with since it was my best friend I fucked over. Lesson learned though.

 

Very well done greenlife . You did the right thing . True best friend bros. only come along a couple times in a lifetime ,if that. Never put youself in the situation again . You have learned from this . And that's the important thing . he clearly cares much about your friendship . And now you guys can move on . Not many guys would be willing to overlook this , so he must be a solid bro. Contrary to what some ladies posted here , some clearly don't understand how the male mind works . Just like we don't understand how theirs works . You were man enough to tell him the truth , and not wuss out and conceal the truth . Well done my man . I'm glad it didn't ruin your friendship .

 

Good on you for telling him. Make sure you also tell him if you intend to keep pursuing her.

 

Yea. I still feel bad because I want to pursue her. Right now isn't the time. Clearly she has some healing to do. If down the road she thinks she's ready I'll ask him what he thinks. If he says no, well then I just won't pursue her.

Thanks again everyone!

 

You two should make an agreement on never telling your friend this secret especially if you two both think that is a mistake.

 

I've seen this a few times and usually best mates arent best mates for long if one sleeps with the others ex. But, chances are you will slip away from one or both of them over time, so I say go for it. Maybe you'll be together for a long time.

 

Read the dam thread he already told him

 

I like that and it's so true I spent hs being the wierdo bitch that people kinda hated and now I think I'm trying to be like the new kid who wants to be friends with everyone but it's hard to change cause I'm a real bitch sometimes and I don't know how to be. To the op your friend doesn't know how to be a real friend if he was he wouldn't care cause he's done with her and he's your friend so wouldn't he want you to be happy? It seems to me like your friend is a control freak he likes things on his terms he expected you to dump her when he did and be the third wheel to him and his next bitch. I say date the girl and tell your friend if the problem is that big then he should kick rocks