how to survive becoming a professional?

I'm in University right now, and have plans to someday apply to med school, but with this herculean, near impossible goal I've set for myself I was wondering how other people with "issues" deal with them (constructively) to achieve their goals?

I've dealt with major depression for as long as I can remember, along with anxiety, eating disorders and other stuff (I've never been officially diagnosed with anything, never been to a doctor about any of it, but it's getting more & more difficult to hide my problems). And even though I've fought and bled (literally & figuratively) to get as far as I have I still feel like I haven't gained any ground, and the responsibilities that are still coming already feel so heavy

I've come to the sad realization that even though I'm terribly lonely, I'm just too screwed up to handle any investments in another person. Hell, it's hard enough to handle being with the people I call friends, trying to be a boyfriend is not really an option. I'm too damaged to be with anyone until I "fix" myself, and on some days I half-believe that I can.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling, but I am curious: to any professionals out there and people out there trying to build a real career and a life, how do you do it?

 

Don't measure yourself by what you perceive to be other people's happiness or success. And yes - do what you feel you need to "fix" yourself, while simultaneously accepting and embracing your own limitations. Finally, being alone, single, is not a failure, nor is it a crime. Loneliness cannot be cured by "another" person.

 

let go of the all the perceptions you have of yourself and don't let anybody slap a label on you.
trying to have a real life? I don't know about you but I have had a real life since the day my mother brought me into this world.
as for trying to build a career, I can't speak to that (I'm only 20 and I don't have one in mind yet, exactly) but I bet it's a slow and arduous process.
it's good to have goals for the future, but it's important to enjoy your life in the present moment, and not wish your life away.

 

I think it's good to understand yourself and know your limits.

It's good to have goals, but I think that people often put themselves in high pressure situations without understanding how that affects their health.

 

I used to have this problem, and still do. I'm ambitious and I haven't found a way to change that, if there is one. Drugs is the only thing that works but it's only temporary, socializing doesn't work and even makes it worse. So see if you can get your hands on some LSD, DMT or shrooms.

 

i would definitely like to try some psychadelics, good ol alcohol just isn't cutting it anymore.

I appreciate the responses, keep them coming

 

I have suffered from depression and anxiety. I pick up tasks and never manage to finish them, i tell myself i will eventually do something yet i feel as lost as ever. Don't know what tomorrow will bring yet i make myself get up every morning. It's an endless cycle, i think mind altering substances can play a role but like he said its only temporary. I feel as though in order to fully digress from this lifestyle i need to find like minded individuals who share the same mindset as me, then again that might just be loneliness, perhaps melancholy? Who knows, maybe ill become a writer; that would seem suiting.

I spend my days counting down the hours, only to let them pass by my mind. Sounds fancy doesn't it, keep your head up it will eventually make sense and you will find your place.

 

Unfortunately we are born in the middle of two converging ages. We've inherited the fragmented, specialist structure of productive life which we call 'work', which came about once we saw ourselves as individuals independent from the tribe.

But people don't want to specialise anymore. People are starting to know a bit of everything. The general public knows more now about medicine, science, politics, economics than any society in the past. We're very well educated broadly, but at the sacrifice of specialist knowledge. The ones that do hold onto their highly specialised life are conflicted or highly unpleasant people. People are starting to realize it's not worth it. A fragmented life is worse than no life at all. I don't know what's coming next but the internet gives some hints - total interaction without division.

 

Reminds me of the greco-roman era where specialization was frowned upon, rather than specializing in one area they broadened education and wanted to learn about everything whether it be politics, philosophy, medicine, and science. I agree completely when you say specialized life is looked upon as not worth it. People tend to be very close minded, they tie themselves to one subject rather than seeing it all

 

i am very aware of the need to work at balancing being a professional and having a life, but i find that it is absolutely attainable (well, certain things get sacrificed...). i have never really suffered from bouts of depression so i can't uniquely relate there, but i have always found myself being rather self-reflective and turning to journals and tarot and art to work through my self-queries and self-doubts. these days, i am in an amazing spot professionally. i do specialize in particular aspects of the law and do have a highly specialized professional life, but i do not think that i am in any way conflicted or highly unpleasant. i love learning about things beyond my professional realm and, quite frankly, i don't really connect with most of the mainstream attorneys and businessfolk but i also work in a fantastic boutique joint with amazing individuals who are really individuals and not the stereotypical peeps that just don't do it for me. i am now working on integrating the things i love back into my life with greater frequency, but i don't have a sense of urgency and enjoy the balance that is in my life now. one of the awesome things about accomplishing a professional goal you create for yourself is that you get to sit at the peak of that mountain you climbed and enjoy it for a while. for now, i am more than okay with the fact that my work is the primary thing in my life and i don't find that to be bad for my personality or bad for my place in the world. i have remarkable co-workers, a phenomenal boss, and i get to watch the human condition unfold every day. i get to write and use my creative and artistic skills. i get to dress up and buy fabulous shoes and silk shirts to wear with my suits. yeah, it can be hard to meet my kind of peeps when i spend the majority of my days in offices, courtrooms, and the like, but i still do. i think that one just has to want to be in your space, enjoy it, and put what you want out there into the world - and yourself too - and a reasonable balance will happen. i also think that one has to remember that none of us are our jobs or our professions or, really, any one identity but rather a multiplicity of identities, always/already becoming and unfolding. there isn't any slash or binary divide in the world - no one thing or identity defines any of us - and so long as we stay creative and optimistic and reflective and open to new challenges, it is a pretty amazing thing to become a professional. you would still be you, just with initials after your name and a higher pay grade. and, hopefully, a serious passion for the profession you choose.

 

Well honestly I kind of feel simularly....though I don't think I am going to reach professional status any time soon if at all. For starters I failed college twice because my mental issues were interfering too much...and now I've been looking for work applied for a seasonal job...but now I am worried I'll have to put that on hold due to some recent increases in my anxiety and ptsd symptoms. Can't very well work if I am jumping at every sudden noise and about ready to go off the deep end and possibly damage equipment, hurt myself and maybe even others.

I typically use drugs to help me function...but they don't fix any of it they just provide some relief. And well I can't very well drink or smoke weed on the job so I am considering trying to get a prescription for something like Xanax that is fast acting and will calm me down that is legal to take on a job. Also if you're still able to complete your college classes and such but just experiancing some stress and difficulties you could give counseling a try...but if you're like me and the issues go really really deep and are very complex it might not be very effective.

 

Yeah I know what you mean about alcohol...Psychedelics are nice, but make sure and familierize yourself with them and I don't recommend taking mushrooms every three days like I've done in the past. But yeah most are really hard to die from...but do not underestimate the powerful effects they have on the mind. Great trips are awesome, bad trips not so much but there are ways to deacrease the chances of a bad trip.

Now if you're looking for something a bit more mellow as well...but different then alcohol there is always marijuana and technically it is a psychedelic more or less just not a very strong one like LSD.