I'm socially awkward

I have social anxiety and it sucks. I miss out on a lot of things because of it. I can't talk to a stranger if my life depended on it. I want to get over this but I haven't been able to. It's really unfair because my brother and sister don't have this but god hates me just enough to give it to me. :bigcry:

Do you guys suffer from this? Have any of you got over it?

 

...........i would think it is good practice to post more on a forum like this......if you start to learn how to respond here it would just be a small step to bring it out side..i mean technically you talking to a stranger right now with me,right?

 

I used to be like this.
My problem is I think everyone is an idiot and if I think that, then I automatically assume they think the same as me. I can't ever go anywhere without people annoying me. Their de meaner, their personality etc and I therefore assume also that they think bad of me.
But then I got this whole attitude of "well hell to them" and I just stopped caring. I'm out there to do my own thing and if I get in somebodies way then good. Makes me feel better that I got to annoy someone else.
As with talking to people, because they are all idiots, just talk to them as normal as you can. They won't remark on it unless they're nasty individuals and you'll just flow along with the conversation.
Not everyone is an idiots, but for fools safe, if you know nothing about them then they have to prove to you that they aren't idiots.
:2thumbsup:

 

Yes, I had social anxiety for a while. I still do to some degree, though subjecting myself to people on a regular basis has put me into a position where I need to produce words. Words now be getting produced. Good luck.

 

I have kinda broken from that a bit. It is easier than was. I've self-diagnosed that, so it could be something else, but whatever.

But still, I go somewhere, want to start small talk, person looks at me with "wtf you want, get lost" or just stare surprised that I want something...

Irminsul, if you see me and you think I am an idiot and I see you and think that you are an idiot, how will that work? I guess it doesn't work this way. You just can't come to someone and ask him to prove he is not an idiot...

It would be easier to assume he is not an idiot, but keep in mind that he might be. Should work better this way...

 

I too have this “problem.” However, I’ve discovered the cause of my anxiety is that I think most chit-chat conversation is lame, lame, lame and therefore very boring. As a result, I find participation in ordinary chit-chat conversation mind-numbingly dull. I wanted to be social and participate in conversations in which people seemed to be enjoying but couldn’t. This was a source of anxiety for me. I discovered this about 20 years ago.

So, the solution you might think is to create your own “interesting” conversations. Well, I had a problem there too. I was not skilled at it and I had nothing to say…

I then discovered reading. It enabled me to choose topics of interest to me. I still find most conversation boring but now I’m capable of having satisfying conversations. My problem now is finding people who are interested in subjects I find interesting.

Hip-forums and you have changed that. Thank you

 

Ya know ... that could have been me writing that, outthere 2!!!!

 

I used to be heaps socially anxious, like i had selective mutism.
Then i got into video games and getting barely any sleep. Now im just depressed as fuck.
The most surprising part of my whole story though is now im perfectly capable socially. Im calm and collected, and people like me. I just really dont give a damn about social stuff, I'd rather just be by myself.

SA is pretty much insecurity. I guess the best advice i could give you is to not worry about it, if your happy, then your SA shouldn't matter at all. If you worry about SA, your pretty much worrying about worrying, and it will just get worse.

Also remember the only point of sociality is a feeling, a chemical in your brain. Oxytocin to be precise. If you look at it from a logical perspective it is the most pointless retarded thing ever, and you dont really need it. Just find meaning in your life and you'll be good :2thumbsup:

 

OMG do I have this anxiety! I always drink alone because I can't go out to bars anymore. I'm pretty much a shut-in now. If I'm not in class I'm all alone. It's because out in the real world I think I'm a freak of nature I don't understand or relate to humans well at all. Trying to act normal is just that, an act and I feel like I'm so transparent about it.

But coming to forums I enjoy can be almost cathartic at times. I come here to put myself out there, more than I do in the real world, seeing if I can make any connections, like someone said it's kinda like practice, and who knows with any luck you or I might be able to translate a virtual connection with someone into a live one, at least I hope it works out that way.

 

This sort of thing is a vicious cycle. You don't want to talk with people,so you stay at home, perhaps getting drunk/stoned, and you want even less to go and talk with people.

One day you might tell yourself "Ok, enough of this" but you can't physically bring yourself to go out the door, you don't know where you would go, what you would do, what if you have to talk with someone, what will you say? Self destructive excuses.

I'm a bit of a lone wolf, it's part of my charm, but first and foremost, I am a pack animal, and so are you. You can't substitute real relationships with internet relationships - it is healthy for you to be around other people and interact with them.

What is the worst thing that could happen? Go meet someone new, or someone old. Don't worry about being interesting, just try to be interested. That's all people want anyway, someone who likes them and cares about them.

If it turns out you are unlucky and you are rejected, so what? Not everyone will get along with everyone else. There are literally millions of people in the world who would love to be your friend, your odds are pretty good. Get out of your head, and out of your house. Go be human. It's really a lot easier than you might think.

 

“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” Hebrews 6:10 NIV

 

I think this is terrible advice.

Good way to go from socially inhibited to socially hated.

 

:iagree: roor

 

I used to be very socially awkward, I also disliked people a lot. But eventually I found people who had the same interests as me, and after a while it wasn't as difficult to associate with new people.
I got so lonely when I disliked other people! I mean I still have a certain distaste for a lot of people, I don't let it hinder me too much. I also still have slight issues talking to some strangers on occasion, but thanks to a lot of new friends I've made, I'm gradually getting better.

Find the right people and they will help you discover your true potential :2thumbsup:

 

I can be very socially awkward at times... esp. when I am high. I just get paranoid and nervous very easily. It sucks, but I have been this way since high school. This is why sometimes I feel better off just being alone. People don't do much for me anyway, but it seems like when I am alone, people are all I think about.

 

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I have it, at times. There are just certain situations that I don't really know how to deal with. I can also completely fabricate it in order to get out of a jam. So I wouldn't really call it a 'disorder'. To me that's one of the most disgusting words that's ever come about. So what, your out of the main order. Who gives a shit.

Read your interests up and down. Make sure that you have opinions formed before you start conversations with people. In conversation and talk, your confidence is as large as you make it out to be. Above all things, don't feel bad! For a lot of men, coming off as an arrogant prick who talks to much is THEIR way of masking their insecurities. If you want my advice, continue to be irrelevant to these people. Its just the best way.

But as far as friends, acquaintances, ladies, just practice. Make a mental note to start more conversations, the problem should then just work itself out naturally.

 

I battled it for awhile myself. I could be very social for my job but not in my personal life.
I would start talking to someone and a million thoughts would start racing through my head at once. So I wouldn't say anything. The last year has been much better. I don't know why but its very easy now to talk to anyone. I'm just more confident I guess.

 

I've never experienced any of this. It is good to understand other people's experiences though.

 

i don't know, bumping a bunch of ancient threads is probably at least a little socially awkward...