hey everyone, i'm new to this forum. this is my first thread, and i'd gladly appreciate any advice you guys have to offer i'm 18 yrs old and i didn't have my first kiss until just last summer, in may. it was with a guy whom i met through a friend. we only madeout that night and since then, we talked here and there on facebook. we follow each other's blogs too. based on his profile and blog, i knew that he was a player type and he hasn't been in a relationship for a while. he's flirtatious to say the least but not to the extent where he would tell a girl that she is the only one or whatever. anyways, we didn't really start to hang out until mid october. since then we've been seeing each other 1-2 times a month, mainly to hookup. i knew what i was getting into... i convinced myself that i would be able to handle a casual relationship and that losing my virginity wouldn't be a big deal. ive always felt like i was ready to have sex and the first time that i had sex with him, i felt okay about it i wasn't nervous or anything. i didn't start to feel bad until now... this is incredibly naive but i always think that maybe he would start to show more interest in taking it further if the sex is good. i mean i enjoy it, but it's not fulfilling for me if he;s solely just in it for sex. im just confused. when we're together, we act like we're in a relationship. we're able to talk about stuff and goof around etc. but when we're apart he barely talks to me unless if he wants to ask me to "hang out". we live a little more than an hour away, btw. i feel like the more i see him the more i like him and it just gets harder for me to let him go if he's not going to return those feelings. and i guess im also afraid to let go because i feel like it will be a while before i meet someone new and currently, my social life isn't so active because most of my friends are off at school (i took a year off) and some of them are starting to drift away. it's made me feel lonely but i'm better about it now, it's just this guy whom ive been seeing is always on my mind and i think that's because he's the only person who's been there for me in the past year.. to show me any sort of affection and to give me company. 2011 was a really rough year for me and he kind of turned it around, it's just now i'm not sure if continuing to see him would do me more harm or what.
If I were you, I would stop seeing him. People don't really change, you two don't want the same things, and you shouldn't compromise because it doesn't lead anywhere. I feel like no one should really compromise in a relationship, even though people say it all the time. Things won't change, and the sooner you stop seeing him, the better for you! The hardest thing is to make that decision, getting over someone is not that difficult.
Only u can decide if u wanna continue with this sorta "one-way" relationship... It sounds like u unexpectedly grew fond of being with him, but yea, he probably only considers u as his f*ck buddy (u already know that). If i were u i'd have moved on already, but i understand how hard it can be, especially since he's basically your current social life. U can do better though. It doesnt sound like a good idea to stay in a relationship that doesnt make u happy solely because u're bored and dont meet new people. U need to be more self-confident...
You made a shitty decision, and got too close to a guy that isn't really what you want. You know what you should do. And if your only social life is over an hour away, and your friends are off at school... Make some new ones! I know you're probably in a slump, but just put yourself out there. You're 18! Take a class or something. You'll meet people. The trick is to pretend you're confident and people will be attracted to that. You aren't as into this guy as you think you are. You just had your first kiss this summer... You're into the IDEA of a boyfriend... Not this guy. He doesn't even bother with you when you're not 'hooking up'... I have no idea what you look like or what your personality is like, but you can do better! Guys just LOVE 18 year old girls! Get some confidence and find a guy who is worthy.
Stop seeing him, your error was you had to convince yourself that you could handle a casual relationship. Honestly your gut feeling, that you had to talk your way out of, was the correct choice you should've listened too. Now; talk to the guy tell him the intimacy is gone UNLESS he wants to commit. Also get yourself tested for STD/STI's since you indicated he's a player, even if he used a condom you might have something now. (Lots of times there are no symptoms)
If he lives one hour away, you can be 100% sure he fucks other girls and it's damn perfect for him being this far!
