So, first post so be gentle Was with my gf this weekend, not been seeing each other long, its semi long distance so i usually see her on weekends, i stay at hers, this was about the 7th time seeing each other and 3rd time we would be having sex First time was fine, ill be honest and say it was my first time in about 3 years (even though im 21) and I came a little too quickly for my liking, but that aside, no problems Second time, I focused more on her in the foreplay, and while thrusting tried to calm myself and hold it for longer, which I imagine is normal perhaps? Anyway, came again with no problems, she seemed pretty satisfied, said i made her come, for the first time in a year. So i was pretty glad with that too. This time however.... tried having sex on the friday night. Just would not happen. I slipped out like 6-7 times before i faked it. Felt so so ashamed but w/e. I dunno if i was slipping on her sheets, i really couldnt get comfortable, even though it was the same missionary type position as before. Or maybe she was gyrating her hips in a way that meant she pulled away as i pulled back so i slipped out. I dunno. Following night, tried again. pleasured her a couple of times leading up to it, went in again, and it just wasnt happening. I didnt slip out but again i wasnt comfortable and just, it didnt feel right. I fake it, and then as I'm pulling out, the condom stays in...it comes totally off my penis, and is just left sticking out of her. SO MUCH EMBARASS....My level of internal shame building even more, and hey it might have something to do with it. But yeah so that. THIRD TIME THAT WEEKEND, the next morning. Go for it again, pleasure her some, go for some morning delight, and here is where I think i get the problem. Let me just say, I have NEVER EVER EVER had a problem being hard. Im not that sexually experienced AT ALL, even in basic stuff like kissing so normally even things like slight sexual hinting, and id be right up like a flag pole. Like I said, first 2 times with this girl i was rock solid. So, here are my analyses, please give feedback, has this ever happened to you? please be honest, or is it something you have heard of before? 1. The condom is too tight. Its the exact same condom we used all 5 times, but the moment it when on, i drooped. How easy should it be to roll one down? SOmetimes it feels like it takes too much effort like im squeezing in (not trying to boast or anything, just what happens). I dont know the diamter of them, they were hers and she had no box. I bought some of my own, which are 57mm diameter, and put one on and it felt waaaaay easier, so could be this. 2. In my mind the sex is over. Let me say right now. Ive been without female romantic contact for like 4 years before this girl. I watched a lot of porn. If noones home for the day, I'd jerk it 4-5 times. This breeds a quick and easy ejaculation, where once its over, im back to flaccid in seconds. COuld this be whats happening? In my mind the sex is over, cus I've made her come by fingering (she told me im pretty good)? In my mind the sex is over, shes panting on the bed, so my hardon is gone? 3. Our foreplay is too long. Like I said before, I'm often hard from the get-go. This means that when i go to hers, i havent seen her in a week, we spend the day basically just in bed. Fooling around, cuddling, then fooling around some more, then more intense foreplay, then sex. This over like 2-4 hours. If I'm hard from the start, is it possible that I just cant keep it going for that long? I know I'm young but being rock hard for that whole time, and then hey maybe its a combo of the tight condom too, that just made it happen. But so yeah, thats my ideas. Hope this post didnt turn out too long, like I said first time poster so be nice I really like this girl, shes freaking out cus she thinks its her fault, i dont know if its my fault, or the condoms, or what, but I really want to fix this issue for this weekend. peace xx
I think this could be it. Also try to make sure your eating healthy, I've found that too much sugar in your diet can hinder erections. (White breads, candy, ice cream etc...) --- Also stay away from the porn and quick masterbation, I think it's conditioning you for quick responses and a return to flaccid state to fast. Overall I think you self-diagnosed yourself pretty well.
Your putting the pussy on a pedestal. Do that make sense here? You could be over thinking it, causing so much pressure on yourself over the course of those few days. You mentally screwed yourself kinda, the condoms could be the problem but you've used them before. Next time experiment with the 12-24 variety pack, for an ego boost, try the magnum. An easier option that's awesome is to ask your gf for some head and have her put the condom with her hand or mouth. Try the Endurnz pill, it increases blood flow to the penis. Since you only see your gf ever so often, each weekend you two spend should be crazy spontaneous (if your not doing that already)
Thanks for the feedback guys, pretty sound advice. Seeing her this weekend, pretty nervous so I gotta watch out for that but tbh im pretty excited to get back and prove myself if that makes sense. Got my bigger condoms and yeah I've cut out masturbation all week so i'm literally ready to blow... Hope all goes well
when we do foreplay , i think of funny stuff , videos jokes . or we talk funny things together so my dick won't get hard and i loose power for main push . laughing make woman easier for sex and better orgasm while sex . don't forget foreplay is for the women heat up . not men . you are not supposed to enjoy it . get off the bed . or new sex position . clear your mind . you want her or not . be the men .
Seriously? Men aren't supposed to enjoy foreplay?? And there I was, enjoying sensual kissing, massaging, playing with all parts of a woman's body, giving her oral...... Serves me right. Next time I'll just hit her with the thigh bone of a handy antelope and drag her back to my cave, where I shall ram myself mercilessly into her without any foreplay at all. Thanks for straightening me out.......
foreplay is for women heat up . prepare for sex , make her wet . and that shit can take for 20 min or longer . i like foreplay with her , but when i start enjoy it in first of 5 min , i am ready and hard . i can not keep my dick 20 min hard because women are build that way . and if you are a man , then you know that we men need about 5 min or faster for our dicks get ready and hard .
Dude, I can easily stay hard for 20 minutes (or longer as I've gotten older). But maybe I'm weird. Stay Brown, Rev J
Would be good to hear how it went on the weekend you mentioned - I would have suggested cutting out masturbation in the week leading up to the weekend meet but looks like you did that anyway. Would be good to get an update when you can
Hey, yeah I've been following this thread last week and this week and I guess I'll post an update. First off thanks for the replies, even when people differ in oppinion it offers a little spice to the debate I took into consideration pretty much all of what I had either self-diagnosed or you guys had suggested, didn't masturbate for the 4 days leading up to it, cut out the sugary stuff on the day before, and got some bigger condoms. I think the ones i had were 52mm so i went for 57mm, tried it at home and it worked a treat. So, ended up being a success. I was really impressed personally on how i boosted my own confidence by believing that i was just gonna rock her world this week, and hey, I did. Had a great weekend, no issues whatsoever, and even made some progress on our (pretty tame for now) sex bucket list and tried some times in the shower (see my other thread lol). So, problem solved, I'm pretty new to sexual relationships and I think I've found a really great girl and I really appreciate the tips and advice from the folks on here. I'm still learning a lot so i ask a lot of questions but I try and feedback as much as i get out, so thanks again
having your dick hard so much time while you having foreplay , and not intercourse sex or blowjob . is waste of testosterone .
This makes no sense. When I am turned on, my dick is hard; when I am having foreplay with my wife, I am turned on. Therefore, as logic would have it, I am hard during foreplay. I cannot figure out how any testosterone is wasted during this process.
A waste of testosterone??? That's what it's there for dude! What do you do.....tie a rubber band around it?? And why are people acting like 20 minutes is such a long time? I can jerk off for 20 minutes when I take out a large withdrawal from the spank bank.
