I'm not like someone who feel lack of confidence because of some disadvantages. I have wealth, health, look and education. But more than often I can't make eye contact. I found out that I lose my grip on the subject that is being discussed. I try to focus on subject and things go on right but the next moment, I lose my grip and a sense of shy overcomes my confident. Its just very very embarrassing when I can't make my point and I forget everything and avoid making eye contact. This is the biggest problem in my life now a day.
hmm usually I can't make eye contact...and I've never been very confident, though in my case I don't think the eye contact thing has to do with confidence. But yeah I also tend to lose track of what I'm saying and then I forget. But yeah I know that can be frusterating...my main issue with it is peoples reactions cause I often wonder if people are thinking 'what's wrong with her' when they talk to me.
Don't worry about it, some people look for a timid person, maybe that's you. Also, don't take your 'health, wealth and education' to too much value, because frankly if you're looking for a woman, some of us really don't care about those things. The man I'm with right now has none of those things and I love him dearly regardless
Thanks for letting me know woman psychology! But it means a lot in professional career. When you are doing some business talk or meeting. Doesn't it? Some of you don't care. But what about the majority? DO they also not care? Ok, just asking because of curiousity. Do girls like talkative guys or shy and those who speak only when needed?
In business, you're just going to have to suck it up and make eye contact. The only person who knows that you're embarrassed/shy/timid/whatever is you and if you make eye contact and act professional, they don't know otherwise. As for me as a woman? I like men who can hold interesting conversation. Someone who never talks is really boring, but someone who's gonna talk my ear off then ask me how I lost it is really really annoying
Maybe try practicing in the mirror or with a close friend. Eyes are like windows into the mind or soul yet at the same time present anyone looking in with a lot of unknown. It's intimidating. Sometimes a look will come over someones face when I meet them in the eye. It can be very subtle but distracting nonetheless. In the end though, it's all about concentration. Put blinders on, and remain unaffected by stimulus until your point is made.
You are right. Its just about when I make eye contact and I've observed that when I'm wearing sunglasses, I'm ok. But still, sunglasses all the time?
Intresting, I can practice as much as I'd like and it doesn't help any...but yeah my thing is if you wan't me to focus on what your saying leave me alone about the bloody eye contact......eye contact is uncomfortable unless I trust someone not to mention how am I supposed to focus on eye contact and hearing what they say? but maybe practice helps some people.
It's still all about concentration. Think about performers, or athletes. They are in front of a lot of people, and they maintain a level of concentration to complete their task. I've had to really work on this area in playing tennis. My nature is to be very sensitive to body language, comments, subtleties, attitude, and grandstanding. Ultimately my opponent gets in my head, and I totally lose my ability to execute. I took it as a challenge to use the control within my own mind to concentrate on the ball and my skill, and dismiss everything else. It was a long road, but it worked. It's all about concentration.
I am the opposite of sensetive to those things, and even though I can recognize body language by itself I am hardly aware of my own and for whatever reason I cannot concentrate on any of that if I want to focus on what they're saying. I can pick up on some things about people but more like their mood and intentions(though I do get the intentions wrong at times as I am a bit on the paranoid side, so I have to try not to get distracted by that). But my brains fucked so I don't expect that to make any amount of sense......that makes about as much sense as not being able to ask someone to borrow a pencil in class which always sucked at school considering forgetting to bring a pen or pencil to class was apparently one of my hobbies, or I'm just forgetful and disorganized.
It's still all about concentration. Think about performers, or athletes. They are in front of a lot of people, and they maintain a level of concentration to complete their task. I've had to really work on this area in playing tennis. My nature is to be very sensitive to body language, comments, subtleties, attitude, and grandstanding. Ultimately my opponent gets in my head, and I totally lose my ability to execute. I took it as a challenge to use the control within my own mind to concentrate on the ball and my skill, and dismiss everything else. It was a long road, but it worked. It's all about concentration.
If you look at people's foreheads or their nose right in between their eyes they'll think you're making eye contact when you're not. Tricks of the trade, my man. I get weirded out when I look people in the eye if I don't really know them so I just do that.
