Hi all, i need some female advice. I’m a 29 year old virgin (god i hate typing that!) and i’m trying to change that and sort my life out for the better. I’ve read a few threads on the net by guys in this situation, and a lot of the time they’re problems are centred around being shy, introverted, socially awkward, lack of friends, poor self image, low self esteem, etc but I wouldn’t really say that’s completely true for me. Here’s the problem without going into too much detail: In my late teens, early 20’s i got rejected a few times pretty bad. This screwed up my state of mind and i pretty much associate sexual intimacy/relationships with very painful feelings. So much so that I’d avoid the situation no matter what. I’d say i’m sort of phobic TBH. Although i’ve got low self esteem, been on and off anti-depressants for years (now staying off them) and have some anxiety problems, I’m a fun guy to be around. I’m witty, entertaining, love making people laugh and can easily do most of the talking in a group, even if its among strangers. Obviously if talk gets sexual or to relationships i shut up, but you’d expect that. I’ve got quite a few friends and a few female friends. I tend to find i get on with girls better as it happens. I wouldn’t say i’m an extrovert and i do spend a lot of time by myself (i live alone), but i think i can sort of behave that way when i’m out and feeling comfortable. Now the thing is a do attract girls. I’d say there’s been at least 5 times in my life where sex is on the cards there and then, on a plate, but I’ve lost my nerve or been too stupid to go with it and ducked out. There’s been a lot more times where i’m pretty certain girls have been interested but i’m too geared to making sure it doesn’t happen for the very poor reason above. I think the crux of the problem right now for me is this: I’ve got a major fear that as soon as a girl finds out how sexually inexperienced i am, she will have second thoughts or reject me, since i’m not the guy she thought i was. I guess i’m scared of being found out. I’d like to know how best to deal with my sexual inexperience with a girl when it comes down to it? If i bring it up i’m thinking its going to end things there and never get to the sex anyway. I’ve not been lazy and i’ve read up a lot on sexual techniques so i’m not completely clueless. I want to be a great lover and it matters to me that i am for the lady i’m with, but is she going to put up with me becoming one? This may be just paranoid (which i know i am a lot!) but i’d like to hear some female opinions. This isn’t my only hang up but i’m dealing with one problem at a time. Right now i’ve signed up to a couple of online dating sites and i’m messaging girls. Not many bits so far but i’m going to stick with it. Learning to deal with rejection is another hang up i’ve got to deal with! Thanks for listening!
I'm 26 and in much the same situation. it seems from my perspective you've got some considerable advantages in the game, definitely more than say, me. If I could suggest anything, I would say to own your inexperience be up front about it, say to her you haven't done this in a very long time, can we go slow? If the other person is open you can figure out the right pace together. If she only wants it fast then I don't see how it would've ever worked out regardless of what you did or didn't do so there's no use losing sleep over it. You sound relatively well adjusted, more social than you give yourself credit for, like I said you have the tools.
WTF GUYS!!! I won't be laughing CUZ THAT SHIT AIN'T FUNNY... get your F_______G DICKS OUT and go play touch touch with a stripper... NOW ... cuz if you don't and you wait for the girl of your dream..she will freaking laugh don't stop.. 25yrs old is like the peak of your sexual performances and you're already past that..cmon
Spend one night at a bar outside your neighborhood where no one will know you spend some time drinking and just walk up to girls who look like they feel a bit uncomfortable or older women offer them a drink talk for a bit then ask them what they're doing later or ask if they wanna get outta here. Either that or hire an escort. Backpage is your friend for that.
your "concern" is amusing... but not everyone is that skilled, or forutnate, or maybe both. I read somewhere that only like 40% of the world's males actually get to reproduce in their lives, so alot of guys are likely never getting their dicks wet. Not that I'm saying OP will be one of those types. Hell worse come to worst, save up for a while, go to Vegas visit the Bunny Ranch and never have to worry about rejection guaranteed
one is 29 and the other 26 . are you fat or ugly <small dick ( children statement , low self esteem ) . find a desperate girl and rape her . or pay 40$ or more if you want . she will be soft and nice with your stick .
Lol Look at all these illiterates making fun of you. You just need to not care about how you're comming off to these women at the bar ooze confidence and they'll fucking gush their panties that and get them drunk.
Nah just kidding. Be an extrovert kinda guy, make some changes in your lifestyle. Women don't throw themselves at you, you have to work for it.
here ya go...copy/paste answer to your copy/paste question Hmm! Okay.. well.. there's no way you're going to get around the fact that you're inexperienced with whoever you decide to sleep with. But you shouldn't be scared to tell someone that - the desire is there! There's nothing to be ashamed of! I'd suggest at least being in a somewhat committed relationship with whoever you decide to sleep with, as it'll let you practice and get comfortable and know she won't judge you and that she likes you for YOU. But honestly?.. most of the time, sexual experiences with a new person have some fumbles and awkward moments. Not everyone likes the same things, and not everyone reacts the same way or has done the same things. There probably won't be much of a difference between sleeping with you and sleeping with someone who's had a little bit more experience - and, anyways, you have an edge, because like I said.. the desire is there! You want to please her, and that's what'll matter most when you're in a relationship with someone! And, well, rejection is always hard. Think of it this way: if she says no, it's not like you're any worse off, now is it? You're right back to where you started and clearly you didn't want her anyways! Good luck! I'd tell you that the most important thing is finding someone patient and understanding, in case you get nervous. Lots of people get nervous when sleeping with someone new, though, even if they aren't virgins.. so like I said, probably not as big of a difference as you'd think!
hey, you seem like a nice guy. i don't think you will have any problems if you tell the woman you want a relationship with that you're inexperienced. you say you've read a lot and want to be good. so you will. good luck
Some women love that shit. You should consider yourself lucky, grass isnt always greener on the other side. I have been told by a girl I was hooking up with at the time that "all the girls would want you if you weren't so sleazy". There has been several occasions when I have actually really liked a girl and wanted to date her, but she won't even talk to me once her bitchy friends complain about me being a "man-whore". You might want to hire an escort or two just to get acquainted with the female body...but don't tell anyone. Still tell girls your a virgin though, they will be over the moon to take it from you at age 29
