Want to try anal- slightly frustrated :(

Hello, this seems like a good forum and I wanted to get some help.

I'm a 20 year old woman who has been fascinated by anal sex for a very long time. I have been with my current partner for nearly a year and I think he's the one :love: - the perfect person to trust with this kind of act.

So anyway- he knew I wanted to try it that evening, so while he was out I did all of the 'prep' for it. I'm sure you all know what I mean! He came home, we started off by having just normal sex, he was completely hard, then soon as it came round to anal penetration...he just withered up, and naturally it just didn't work.

He's way more vanilla than me, and way less experienced- but he's really happy to learn and indulge in my various perversions- but I know this is an acquired taste, and if it doesn't turn him on, it doesn't turn him on!

He tried to put it down to being tired (he'd been at work and we had a marathon session the other day)- but every time I took him in my mouth or got on top of him, it was fine. He came twice later as well

This is an area I'm desperate to explore, but only with him. He works away from home, and I won't see him for a fortnight- so can anyone give me some tips to make things sexier and more comfortable for when we try it again?

Much appreciated x

 

maybe it's a psychological thing and he doesn't want to hurt you? maybe try it with a dildo first to show him you can handle it?

 

Some people are turned off by the thought of putting any of their body parts in where the bowel movements come out of.

Other men may hold some kind of taboo about that act linking them to homosexuality, somehow.

Those are some obstacles that may, or may not, be overcome through discussion. Just have a frank talk with him and see where his head is at.

 

Yay you! All for experimenting. But a thought before you push the guy too hard. Have you ever had anything larger than a finger up yer bum? You may find you don't like it so I'd try a few dildo runs first. I mean, you may like the idea, but come the event you may be like "OWee! Fuck this! It hurts"
Just saying -- whatever the case though I wish you and yer man all the luck, love and good squishy sex in the world.
xx

 

I agree with the above, see where his head is at, work yourself with a dildo to make sure you are really ready, and if all that checks out reassure him that you want it. Maybe do a little dp with him in your pussy and a dildo in your ass to start with.

I guess if all that fails you could try a good cock ring to keep him hard, but good luck! I hope you work it out because it can be very pleasant

Oh, and you probably already know this, but LUBE!!! especially as a first timer lubing up well could make or break the experience.

 

Dump him and pursue a man crazy about anal.

 

I smell failure there. He might no be up to this.

Ask.

 

I think this is an abnormal behavior

 

Hmm, I did do all of the prep- so stretching, lube then when he came home sloppy blowjob & lots of lube.

I'm just really confused, because it's not like he said refused without even trying it, he gave it a really good go twice- but just couldn't keep it up. I did make a little joke about him having a mental block and we should just cross it off our repertoire' and he said 'noooo ' and commented how new it was to him.

Girlfriends suggested watching porn, but he doesn't like it and it's a bit too blatant for him. I like the suggestions about the toys, but I'm worried it might be a bit porno for him- he's only just warmed to power play and bondage!

Just am a bit nervous about how I approach the situation now. I'm usually really upfront when I want something in bed, but now I know this is a sensitive area- my confidence is knocked. I love him, but I really want to try this and I don't want to scare him again

 

I have friends who think anal sex is just gross and wrong maybe that's where he is at. Y'all need to talk about it. Sounds like he's trying. Tell him what u want that should be sexy.

 

yeah, keep talking to him. and perhaps you want to try instructional porn or buy a book on anal sex, to help you two experiment. and keep at it, but maybe let him ask to try it again in the moment before you do, to take any pressure off. he might be nervous...

 

I'm just so totally confused, no idea why this obviously turns him off....


Yep..... I'm just too totally slow to see that he's not into it, given that he's into everything else but NOT this.....

Can you guiz help me understand why I can't see that he's NOT INTO IT?

 

immature / underdeveloped perhaps

 

Troll thread?

 

He can't keep it up for anal?
Has he tried Viagra?
Once he gets over his initial hang ups and has a good anal romp he should be good to go from then on with out any "helper".

 

Whats to work out?

I've been on this earth long enough, seen it too many times now to ever believe otherwise.

Some guys are freakishly paranoid about anything anal might turn them gay......and a decade or so later, three guesses what they all turn into


A healthy virile heterosexual male and the girlfriend wants to give up the back door, response should be:

So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
BABY GOT BACK!

 

I personally think you are either into it or not... And you can't talk someone into something that they are not comfortable with!! Sounds to me like it turns him off... Not a whole lot you can do, but try and talk... Jmo

 

Hey! I'm the other way around, he wants to do it. I kind of want to do it. But I'm worried for reasons because it will hurt and it's not really the cleanest of places. Advice? And what is the "prep" work?!

 

katie, if you eat well and/or have regular bms you don't need to prep much. you can clean your bum with your fingers though - do it while you are in the shower to get anything stuck in there out. some peeps say douche or enema but that seems like way too much work to me. and it won't hurt, especially if you warm up with smaller objects before you go for it.

 

Thanks Jennifer, I don't think I'm ready for it just yet.