So I'm going through a very rough time right now and really just need to put this out there and see what other people think. I'm a 25 year old guy. I've always identified as straight and thought I wanted a girlfriend and everything that comes with that...I've liked girls before but for some reason I always seem to like girls that are unatainable,,,girls who were out of my league and I wasn't friends with...Lately I've been questioning my sexuality and it's forced me to re-evalute my past...I'm realizing that the feelings I have now are not that new...I guess I've always found some guys really attractive and in a way probably have been attracted to them...especially on TV. I seem to think the guy who played superman on smallville was very attractive...and doubting my feeling towards the elad singer of maroon five when they're video came out in 2004...So now I'm beggining to think that maybe I've actually been gay all this time and in denial...I've definetely doubted before....with that said I've always had crushes only on girls...straight and lesbian porn really does it for...and has for a long time...I've explored gay porn and mostly stay soft during it but can cum...I did get hard a couple of times from it...but it doens't really feel as right as whe I look at a girl...but I can't help notice guys on the street and check them out....I cna't help but notice men on tv and I guess feel some sort of attraction to them...sometimes my friends are like oh shit check out that girl and I won't be that attracted to her althought some times I will...I guess I'm just amazingly confused right now and don't know what to do...I really don't want to have sex with guys but who knows maybe that's who I am I do notice them...well that's all for now any advice would be extremly appreciated...this has really been going on for about 4 months now and I question every day...I've sunken into a pretty deep depression...hope you guys have some advice...
My advice is,,, Try to break up your thoughts into shorter paragraphs, so that people don't find it uncomfortable to read your posts. Then, they'd pay attention to the subject matter, rather than your style of writing.
you don't sound like you might be gay. you're just a guy who notices if other guys look good/attractive. and most guys do, they just don't blurt it out loud like they do when they see an attractive female. if you don't get hard on the idea of guys having sex with each other you're not gay. it is as simple as that.
Well, it does seem like you'd get hard looking at gay porn or thinking about sex with guys if you are gay. But, it is possible that you've really repressed being bi or even gay... it's happened before. I'd say to try it in whatever way you can find that seems like it will tell you what you need to know. I had sex with a guy once who had never had gay sex but had a hard time coming when he had sex with girls. He liked girls, had sex with them, got hard with them, but it would take him forever to come. When we connected through an online hookup site, and finally got together in person, he got hard and came right away and said he knew now he was gay... or bi. I hope you will either try something like that or do something else that will get you out of being so depressed! Don't punish yhourself for having questions! Evryone has these doubts and questions. Look on Experience Project too, maybe... every type of experience is on there. See it as an adventure and a challenge that life is presenting to you. I know what depression is like, it's horrible. Good Luck and you can message me with any questions at all if you want to.
Thanks for your response...it's scared me a little bit though because I've had the problem of not being able to finish with a girl...Unfortunately most of the times I've been with a girl I've been intoxicated at least somewhat so I've attributed it to that...The times I have been relatively sober I've been able to cum fairly normally...but now I'm definetely concerned that based on your message maybe there is something there...all I know is that when I'm feeling positive and happy I feel straight it's only when I sink into a state of depression and anxiety that I begin to experience doubts and homosexual thoughts...
i think you're clearly gagging for it and because you're failing with women you've considered men. you said you stay flaccid with gay porn that says it all. you're not gay. hang tough - she's out there.
gay, straight, bisexual, why does there have to be a title on it? I have recently found myself in the same situation as yourself and although I'm a girl who is attracted to other girls and men doesn't make the predicament much different, I have just learned to relax and take it as it comes, I think there are more men then you think who occasionally find themselves attracted to other men, does it mean they're gay? No. Sexuality isn't black and white, it's a spectrum and most of us fall somewhere in the middle, continue to do what makes you happy, don't go looking for answers, they will find you, if the opportunity presents itself where you have the chance to hook up with a guy you find attractive then do it and don't feel bad about it, you deserve to be happy with any sex
I agree - I'd place you as bisexual - you're interested in both sexes; thagt's really great, celebrate it, lucky u, lotsa choice! But as rockerchick says the label doesn't matter, lots of people are at various levels on the kinsey scale - explore and be comfortable with your sexuality. Njoy, life is short Simon :sunny:
All the posts above sound good and I agree what they say. Don't be scared by what I said about my friend... There are probably, literally at least hundreds of reasons for a guy to have trouble coming besides being gay. I was just trying to let you know that there are many other guys having or who have had similar experiences. The way you put it in your last post, that you only have gay thoughts when you're anxious and depressed, throws a different light on it. If being with girls makes you happy and you feel straight then I would just not worry about it! (I know, easy to say, hard to do) But really, if you are satisfied with hetero love, then you COULD just stick with that and shrug off gay thoughts/desires as being random fantasies that everyone has now and then. It's only if you're NOT satisfied with being straight, and you are very strongly attracted to guys, that you should "worry" about it. But, don't worry about it in any case. If you do turn out to want to see if you're bi or gay, it's scary but you've already shown that you're not afraid to face questions and possibilities unknown to you.
Hey everyone, just wanted to thank everyone for you're messages. I really appreciate it...I'm actually seeing a therapist right now because I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety because of this and we've made some good steps...We kind of think that I'm straight but keeping all options open...I think I'm confusing admiration for attraction and not sure yet...But again thank you for responding and offering your advice and support.
