Methoxetamine and fear of hallucinations

It has been pointed out to me that even planning to take RC's is an offence so I won't be doing that.

I'm bipolar I with med resistant depression. I've done a fair few hours of research now and if I were to try an RC it would be Methoxetamine. Along with Ketamine it has had some very positive effects on depression.

I've read a lot of trip reports and they all talk about hallucinations. That would mean Methoxetamine would not be for me. Or would it?

Close to 25 years ago I experienced LSD. I went to hell and back. It took me 7 or 8 years before I could smoke again. I would get flashbacks. I was terrified that smoking would let my mind go off on another flashback. Every time I tried it I would have a panic attack or start hallucinating again. I was determined that I would enjoy it again and so kept trying until eventually I was okay with smoking it again.

Anyway, I'm at a point in my life where I would have considered Methoxetamine. If I had would anyone have any thoughts, ideas or tips on how to handle it and how I would have been able to get the best therapeutic benefit from it.

 

It's more like an opiate, pretty anxiolytic but maybe more dreamy headspaces and altered perceptions and as where opiates kind of clear your mind, methoxetamine fills it with a bunch of altered thoughts. It can have a sense of profundity to it or can just feel plain silly too. You can feel really removed from your body/self and maybe hallucinations at high doses.

I don't really know much about it's effects with depression, I'm sure you could find a fair amount experiencing addictive and damaging effects from methoxetamine as well, not saying it won't help with depression but I am wary to recommend it as such. I would say for me personally it's been more damaging but it's one of those drugs I hate to like, and I do like it. Kind of like that saying of alcohol "You are the problem and solution to all my problems" type thing.

 

I gave up alcohol over 4 1/2 years ago. It stopped being the solution and became my biggest problem.

I would have chosen Methoxetamine because it'legal in my state being the first reason. I also found that research has found Ketamine to be helpful in treating depression. The guy who developed Methoxetamine said he has been getting information that it has been helpful for the treatment of depression. Not sure I'm convinced that lying around in a dreamy state would have brought me out of the abyss or prevented me falling back in either.

What is it that makes it enjoyable for you? How would you say it has has been damaging? Can I ask what would have been a dose low enough to avoid hallucinations?

I've probably spent a good eight or nine hours on this so far. I have two or three other RCs that I will investigate further. I might find I would have had more options. Is there anything you would have recommended? I wasn't expecting to have cured my depression I was looking for a fun high to give me a break from the depression and lift me above flatlining since I never get to enjoy a fun buzz.

 

It's enjoyable for me because its euphoric, anxiloytic and it gives me a radically altered thought process like psychedelics without really having my problems shoved in my face. It's been damaging because its addictive (psychologically not physically), become an escape and its put strain on some relationships, my wallet and probably made me more jaded/pessimistic overall or something. It seems to affect people differently tho, I had used ketamine prior to it for a few years and may have had some cross tolerance from that and I prefer the more hallucinogenic type higher doses anyways.

But From what I've gathered 25-50 mgs is a good dose range for quality effects that aren't quite as mindfucking as the higher doses. Also motor coordination gets impaired pretty significantly at higher doses. It will most likely make you feel good while on it, it doesn't have a significant crash at lower doses either.


I haven't tried many newer straight up stims, 4MEC is ok, its got some effects that kind of reside between Ecstasy and cocaine. Its nowhere near the emotional investment of E but its got some vaguely similar effects.

 

The sun came up a few minutes ago and for some reason (totally straight) I want to say, Big Respect to you GB; loving you, man.

 

Dissociatives and psychedelics are very different from each other, despite sounding similar on paper.

The thing with psychedelics is that entering into a trip in a bad mindstate, or in the wrong place, with the wrong people, etc, can lead to something rather difficult. If you take care and go with it, the experience will be wonderful and healing, but if you don't, it can be horrible.

Dissociatives on the other hand are very easy to handle, they are not the emotional experience that psychedelics are, and so even if you have underlying problems or aren't in the best environment you can almost always move right past that and enjoy the experience.

As such dissociatives lend themselves more to recreation, and fun trips, while psychedelics are for the more serious of occasions, being more therapeutic. (Though they can be just as fun as dissociatives or more so if you know how to handle them right and pick the right substance for you!)

Dissociatives have one problem over psychedelics though, addiction. Of every drug I've tried, dissociatives were some of the most alluring, with Methoxetamine being more addictive for me than even opioids or alcohol. They don't come with physical addiction but the pure unadulterated escapism they provide makes it damn hard not to buy more/stop using.

Please please please don't go into Methoxetamine looking for an anti-depressant. It's a Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitor along with its standard dissociative action, giving it similar effects to Cocaine, Ritalin, or MDPV. This means at first, like Ketamine, the afterglow can have a wonderful anti-depressant effect, but as you get more and more into using it, these afterglows turn into stimulant crashes and soon you can be left with long lasting depression and blood pressure issues. Take it from someone who's seen some close friends get addicted, and who, in my own MXE-induced stupidity advised my best friend to take it as an anti-depressant, and watched him form a nasty habit with it..

The mania and delusions will also counter any anti-depressant effect and can be hard to handle. The dopaminergic effects also make it even more addictive than your regular dissociative. While I've enjoyed my usage of MXE, it's an alluring succubus that'll drag you in and make you its bitch if you're not careful

If you're looking for a dissociative, or a dissociative with anti-depressant effects, look to Ketamine. If you're looking for a stimulating dissociative to use at low-medium doses for recreation, something more suitable for raves etc where just holing and rolling about on the floor isn't a good idea - then look to PCP, Methoxetamine, 3-MeO-PCP and the other dopaminergic arylcyclohexylamines

I always try to remind people that if you regard psychedelics as "soft drugs", dissociatives are "hard drugs". So just be careful

 

I think if you told us more about your LSD trip we could help you out more. Being scarred for 6-7 years after an LSD trip that was "hell on earth" is, well, not your typical reaction.

I would also not recommend MXE for any kind of long term therapeutic value. You'll just end up addicted to it and it will become a problem. With that said it is one of my favorite substances and has on occassion given me a clarity of mind that allowed me to tackle some tough mental issues. So used more as a psychedelic and not as a daily antidepressant, it might help.

 

Thank you for covering soy much. I really appreciate that. It's given me a lot to consider and also a lot of insightful information.

The legality of possession is #1 for me. So that rules out Ketamine. Mexo seemed to a close second. Im already on Lamictal, Buspirone and Venlafaxine. My depression comes and goes but the meds don't stop me falling into the abyss. Im wanting occasional relief. Something to give me a depression vacation occasionally for a few hours. I miss the mania bipolar but not enough to risk coming off my meds. I deserve a break sometimes is how I feel. I will be extremely mindful of the addiction issue. I will definitely keep ip with posting. There is so much support and solidI information here it's wonderful.

I'm going to try Mexo if only for the hell of it. I'm not thinking I can use it regularly. I hear you on that one. I don't think there is a 'recreational' drug out there that can do that without some dependency issues.

Hallucinogens are just not for me. They scare me. I never again want to see things that aren't there. I got to a place where I had no idea I was tripping. I saw horrible things. I read on another thread that flashbacks are not because of residuals of the drug. Rather, they are PTSD. That resonated with me.

I like being up there. I've used amphetamine, coke and Ecstasy for that in the past. I was a pretty hardcore raver back in the day. Good times, good times! Lol. I never had an addiction issue with any of them. I dropped out of the scene easily. I had a problem with alcohol a few years back. I got treatment and never drank a day in my life since. Even having said that though I know that that has no bearing on what I could get addicted to in future. It only takes one time to find that drug and that's it. Addiction hell.

Im going to look into your recommendations. Any more ideas on legal to posses RC's? The position I'm in makes getting caught bring consequence more than I could deal with. That's just where my life is. And I'm too old for a criminal record. Lol.

Any thoughts on my thinking? Any more recommendations?

 

I would suggest trying mxe specially with history of being bi polar shit makes me tweak out. just my two cents on it

 

The dire consequences of detection and rough history are all the more reason to be sure the setting is as positive and generally stress-free as possible. Don't start with a large dose. 25mg is about right for me - really nice, functional in the context of home. No driving.