Hi, I have a continued thread in the poetry forum, but its a little slow in there and I would like some feedback on this poem, any criticism is welcome. Boy and Girl He swings sticks as swords, runs in the sun, throws rocks at cats squirrels pedal-bikers, burns ants in a magnified ray. He earns dimes and quarters running neighborhood errands, spends every penny on corner store candy. Banters with other boys from sun-up to sunset, he can’t sit down. Skinny as a broomstick, hair a nappy shag. He is boy, what is more? She plays dress-up in a stash of mom’s prom gowns. She waltzes in sunlit attic room. Swirls long ringlets, awry, into up-do in vanity mirror. Helps grandma bake cookies, colors pretty crayon pictures. She dresses up Barbie and Ken, plays house. Barbie has a job in the city and her own car, Ken cooks dinner. She is girl, what is more? He moves in with she, she quits her job, he’s working. She sleeps ‘til three, doesn’t shower every day. He stops for a drink, stays ‘til close. She does dishes and has his dinner ready, it goes cold. He snores, sprawled on the recliner, she leaves room for him in their bed. He speaks a language she doesn’t know. He is only boy, she is only girl, what is more?
