Hello everyone i am new here. Im righting in the forum but i don't know of it is the right one. I found myself some time back one day on a very strong dose of Psilocybin. Since that day I have been in touch with myself and nature. The biggest problem that came with this awakening is that now i see the world for what it really is, and not what the media and society make me feel it should be like. Through tons of research, meditation and “drugs” I find i come closer and closer to some sort of love and respect for nature and people. The problem is that I more than ever just want to be part of nature. Im sure many people feel the same way. I want to take everything i have, give it away and go away. I would love to live in the amazon with a tribe or even in a small island community. Society tires me more and more everyday. It's so difficult to live in harmony with nature when there is a tremendous force that wants you to Do the opposite. Society wants you to have a big house. Beautiful wife with kids. You MUST be able to provide for them with gifts and all materialistic things. You must build bigger, stronger walls for security. You must work late at night and miss the ones you love for what? For a big house, big car, big bank account, luxurious holidays. But that just doesn't make me happy or even provide a self of personal satisfaction with the empty life i have. We all are so miserably if you think about it. I work late at night but i cant stand knowing that my wife is at home having to cook me dinner cause i cant be there with her and prepare it with her. Society just makes it looks like it's ok and thats the way its meant to be. But it's not the way its meant to be. I have a decent house with a decent car and decent materialistic life but I don't find any satisfaction in it. Am i mentally sick to think the way i am thinking? Am I wrong to want to share my life with the ones i love and not with some person that i make profit for? I let nature down everyday. Even though i say i love nature and i sign petitions for nature. I still let it down, i buy land cut down the trees to build my “safe house” use electricity for games, heaters and etc. I use petrol and make the planet worst. I drive 2 hours everyday for work. I feel like i really want to help and be different but how does one do it? If i go and live the way i want to. I say goodbye to most people I care about cause everyone will think i am crazy and irresponsible to want to live that way. I studied design but come from a “good” family. So i always felt this pressure to be more than a designer. To provide more than a designer can in my country. So now i am a manager but it doesn't make me happy. And being a designer doesn't provide for my mental society full mind. I would love to not care about society but i dont know how to. Specially in the place i live were everyone knows everyone and everything you do. I hope one day people wake up and stop judging people for the way they choose to live. For what one person owns under his name. For the cars they own. For the people they choose to love. If only the great people were still around to show us the real way. Today you can get shot or accused of false murder just for standing against a very sick society fueled by very sick motives. I wish a group of people with similar ideas would get together put money together and build a community on a desert island where we would live in utmost respect of people and nature. People would find good health again and live long happy life's. Anyway hope i didn't bore anyone too much i just needed to right this down and hear what you think. I believe in here you guys will understand me more than the people i call friends and family. Peace and mental prosperity Ludo
No... No you aren't Become one of those "great people" we are sorely lacking them... There's nothing wrong with you other than finding your direction. The more you live in "their world" the harder it's going to get to find this direction, you need to find like minded people and start building that new society that is kind to the earth and to each other. (It doesn't need to be on a desert island either) Welcome to the show... We've been waiting for you. :2thumbsup:
youre not mentally sick at all. Youre just waking up. Make small changes. Big changes come from small changes. Find a more satisfying job. If you have to take a pay cut sell your house, buy something smaller, something closer to work so you can cut down on gas. Simplify. Carve out time to cook dinner with your wife. Plant a small garden so you can be in touch with nature daily. Take small steps to do activities that satisfy your soul. Most of all, educate yourself on the system. The more disgusted by it, the bigger the motivation. We're all trying to find ways to drop out of the rat race. It isn't easy for anyone but you can take small steps now.
That sort of reminds me of how I started thinking after a bad mushroom trip...after that I simply could not hide from the fact that it's society that's sick and is just bringing people down. I tried to ignore the knowledge and try again at a community college with plans to go to a four year college when really I just wanted to feel like I was doing something and callege was something...well all that was doing was putting me in debt and I could not get the thinking that trip caused out of my head even though this happened recently and the trip was 2 years ago. I always did kind of feel alienated from society but before I think I was more able to convince myself I could maybe find at least some enjoyment in life if I succeed on societies terms. I kind of want to store all the stuff I have that I can't carry with me...or give it to people who will put it to good use and keep it safe I would probably leave my lap top with friends or family with houses. Put what i can in a back pack I'll probably have to get a bigger one than I have and leave. I remember soon after the trip I had I almost felt chained to where I was because I had all my stuff in my dorm room and couldn't think of anywhere else to put it or any way to get rid of it all. Anyways that all makes sense I felt pretty much the exact same way and still do only its not as shocking as it was during the trip or the following week.
