I am a full time mother to a 5 year old, product of divorce daughter. Her dad only sees her once or twice a year and doesn't call often, and she was too young to really understand (we split when she was 2) for a long time. Over the past year, it seems that she is starting to "get" it and she does not listen to me. I am not sure if some of it is stemming from daddy issues or not, but with me going to college full time and working, it can be really frustrating. To make matters worse, my live-in boyfriend has a 6 year old daughter (they are best friends, and we met through them) who stays with us at least every other weekend. They play nicely, but when you put them together, they can also bring out the worst in each other. Does anybody have any advice for how to get through to a 5 year old? I am at my whits end and don't like yelling at her and don't believe in spanking. Thanks!!!!!
Time out. I have four 5-6 year old grandchildren that I watch everyday. They don't listen to anything or they argue back at me. Try time out or take away privileges or toys. You can't spank them for it. If you spanked a 5 year old every time they did something wrong, you'd beat them to death. It's their age and their spirit. They are learning about how their world works and testing to see where the boundaries are.
You must be a very patient grandparent!!! LOL. She is a good-hearted kid and doesn't do "evil" things, but she pushes every button that I have!!!
I try to be. There are triplet girls who will be 6 at the end of October and their boy cousin who will be 5 in a little over a month. When she just seems to get stuck on this behavior, use a little humor; it goes a real long way for both of you. Also distract her by switching gears and starting her on something totally new to do. Just break the cycle.
Aerianne, my son babysat triplets, one with autism. You are a saint! As for getting 5 year olds in line, set boundaries and enforce them. You and any adults in the house have to be on the same page. As for the other girl, let them work it out. They will.
Understanding goes a long way too if she is angry/upset/frustrated then knowing that its normal to feel these emotions and that others understand is very comforting. It's hard at that age, they understand you but they are still understanding themselves, their feelings etc. Tantrums are a way of them letting their emotions out, in a way that they know how to
I'm having the same type of issue with my son (4.5). My daughter (6.5) listens very well, I must say, and I think I was really lucky with her. So my son's behaviour caught me completely off gaurd! Honestly, the only way I can seem to get anywhere is not aknowledge irrational behaviour. When he starts throwing his tantrums, or just plain doesn't listen, I shut my mouth and wait until he's done (depending on where we are - if we're in a store, we leave first). Then we talk. I've fallen into the "you're being bad trap" and it doesn't work. It makes kids more defensive. I ask him where my happy boy is, and he points to himself. I explain that I can't see him right now. He seems to understand now that it means he's not being very nice and needs to change his behaviour. So, all in all, my advice is to keep it "positive". Focus on the behaviour you want to see and not on the present behaviour. I wait to explain the "why's" of the bad behaviour after the tantrum stops when it's more likely to be absorbed. I hope this helped
I have 4 kids, ages from 2 to 10, 2 girls and 2 boys and all I can say to you is....this too shall pass Good luck!
