This girl I recently started seeing is beautiful but she has these piercings that really turn me off. She has snake bites, a medusa piercing, and a large nose ring. I've tried to get used to them but when I see older pictures of her and how much better she looks without them it's hard to accept them. They aren't helping her find another job either. Would it be out of line to ask her not to wear them when she's with me? Thanks
Personally i think yes, it's out of line. I find it a little strange that u are dating someone whose looks turn u off. Asking someone to change their looks is just difficult anyway. I suppose u could do it if they looked different when u were first attracted to them and then they changed drastically, by saying something like "aw i liked your old haircut" or something like that. But yea, it's still their decision.
I don't think it would be out of line to suggest scaling it back would help her find a job. It wouldn't be unfair to tell her she's hiding her beauty with them or something; suggest poetically that you don't like them (though, every girl will respond differently to such criticisms...) But I do have to agree that it's unfair to request she change her appearance, or unfair to expect her to. I tell my girl she should keep her hair down all the time, doesn't mean she's gonna listen =P
I kind of thought it would be inappropriate to ask her to do that, that's why I haven't. I suppose I'll just continue to look past them. I'm very attracted to her just not her piercings. She likes them and I guess I'll learn to. Thanks. :2thumbsup:
I suppose you could throw hints out their like 'hey you look really good in this old photo' or something. Ultimately she got the piercings because she thinks they look good on her and because she wanted them, it's a very deliberate part of her appearance so 99% chance you're going to have to put up with it or leave.
Unless you are going to meet your parents, yes, it is out of line for you to ask her to take off her jewelry. I really hate it when girlfriends try to make me wear clothes that they find attractive. When they try to fix my sense of fashion. I suspect that they would feel the same if I tried to change their jewelry fashion.
Eurrghh a large nose ring? Start cracking some funnies about fishing and be like "woahh that's a fuckin whale hook, girl". I don't get nose rings. They've never made a girl look attractive, not even studs. The sooner they're showed how dumb they look the better and some whale hook jokes should do the trick, I've seen it work with my own eyes. 'Twas kinda cruel but it worked.
Her whole point is to have the freedom for such things. You may win this battle but there will be many more if this is the way she rolls and it doesn't appeal to you. And ask yourself this .... what if she wanted you to stop wearing (insert) ___________. These things are why God invented dating.
I once hinted that I wasn't keen on a boyfriend's facial hair. He shaved it, and kept it shaved for 4 unhappy years. As far as I know he grew it back after the split. I really regret being such a selfish idiot who hadn't learnt about boundaries yet. You have no rights whatsoever over another person's body. If you don't like her piercings and she feels her piercings are part of her identity, you either need to suck it up or find somebody else. It's easy to get into the trap of having a relationship with your ideal of a person and not the actual person.
